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Old December 2nd, 2006, 09:20 AM   #1
Fiending_the_freedom
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Name: Tegan
Join Date: December 15, 2005
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Arrow i feel lower than dirt.

I feel like shit.
me and my friends & my boyfriend were drinking last night.
& he was really drunk [i wasnt yet] & started flirting with one of my best friends.
& then he whispers in my ear
"wanna have a threesome?"

we've only been going out for like two weeks.
NO I DONT.
it ruined my whole night, i was so depressed
& then he was really drunk & was pushing me away & went & passed out on the couch.

so i went outside in a t-shirt [really drunk by this time]
& broke down in tears.
i dont even know why.
& my ex boyfriend & really good friend comes out & starts trying to talk me out of killing myself.
& then i cut myself in the washroom for the first time in a while.
& i'm fucking stupid.
i cried the whole way home on the subway.
& planned on killingmyself last night but i passed out.

fuck. i cant keep doing this, i havnt found a way to cope in 4 years and nothing seems to help.
i feel like shit,
my boyfriend just called me apoligizing (i dont know for what part of last night though)
& he asked me if i dont like him anymore.
i do.
A LOT.
& i told him i'm not upset because of you.
witch is half true.
i'm upset becuase of how insecure i am.
fuck.

W a r n i n g: Too Many Thoughts Could Lead To An Explosion.


--Tegan
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Old December 2nd, 2006, 01:20 PM   #2
boy_lover88
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Default Re: i feel lower than dirt.

As for the first part about your boyfriend, everyone is stupid when they are drunk and in a way, you sort of heard what your boyfriend REALLY wants. Maybe he's just trying to get into your pants. I may be wrong, since alcohol makes us do stupid things.

For the second part, you have to stay true to yourself and go against all odds in your life. We all know cutting is bad, but you shouldn't be mad at yourself. It'll be difficult to cope with yourself during this time period though. I'm sorry if I can't help you out here. This is only something you know how to do. A friend usually helps.
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Old December 3rd, 2006, 09:46 AM   #3
Fiending_the_freedom
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Default Re: i feel lower than dirt.

ok so.
hes not trying to get in my pants,
he already has, so its not about that,
the next day he apoligized.
but then last night we were all drinking again.
& he started saying it again.
& he even slapped my best friends ass when saying goodby [& i was RIGHT beside her]
this is the same best friend that he was asking about the 3sum.
i feel so hurt.
whydoes he think that its ok to do that?
like i feel so unwanted & not good enough.
and i'm scared to talk to him about it, because i care about him so much.
fuck i dont know what to do, i feel like shit

W a r n i n g: Too Many Thoughts Could Lead To An Explosion.


--Tegan
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Old December 4th, 2006, 08:28 PM   #4
terith
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Default Re: i feel lower than dirt.

I know how you feel...I have been feeling like crap for about a week now. but dont let it kill you
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Old December 4th, 2006, 08:34 PM   #5
Bobby
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Default Re: i feel lower than dirt.

Tegan let me point something out.

Everyone of your threads is "last night my friends and I were drinking"

Maybe you and your friends should cut back on drinking a bit. I mean it's not all that healthy, and it seems to cause problems. Or try to leave the party when your friends start getting really drunk... Just a thought

"Only the most deluded of us could doubt the necessity of this war."
-John McCain
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Old December 5th, 2006, 10:08 AM   #6
Fiending_the_freedom
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Default Re: i feel lower than dirt.

lmao
shhh *shifts eyes*
i've been saying to my firends that i'm gonna cut down [i noticed that too]

me n my boyfirend are good now,
hes made it clear i'm his everything [awwww]
i decided if it happenes again i'll slap him ^__^

W a r n i n g: Too Many Thoughts Could Lead To An Explosion.


--Tegan
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Old December 5th, 2006, 03:25 PM   #7
Bobby
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Default Re: i feel lower than dirt.

Violence isn't the answer..hahah..well sometimes.

DOn't just say your gonna cut back..do it!

"Only the most deluded of us could doubt the necessity of this war."
-John McCain
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Old December 5th, 2006, 03:56 PM   #8
terith
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I agree hehe
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Old December 5th, 2006, 04:44 PM   #9
TheWizard
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Default Re: i feel lower than dirt.

I agree too, cut back or just don't drink so much that either off you pass out.

Josh

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