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View Poll Results: What do you think? (Please comment)
Depression and ADD 3 33.33%
Some form of Bipolar 2 22.22%
Borderline Personality Disorder 2 22.22%
Other, Commented 3 33.33%
You're just a teenager. (This is not helpful) 5 55.56%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 9. You may not vote on this poll

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Old November 2nd, 2012, 11:22 PM   #1
Jaeie
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Name: Julie
Join Date: November 2, 2012
Location: Neverland
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Default Help Diagnose Me?

From what I've researched, I think I have depression and ADD. Let's explore why, and what my symptoms are (Thanks.)

I think I'm depressed because I constantly feel alone and just terribly sad, even when somebody's there holding my hand. I often don't want to exist (To be clear, NOT DIE- just not exist. I feel too much guilt with associating dying with it). I can't handle being yelled at anymore. I feel like no one understands me, like I'm on a different wavelength.

In the mornings especially, but not exclusively, I feel extreme rage and sadness and an inability to cope. I often cry for no reason in the mornings and lash out at everyone around me. In these mood swings, I feel like actually dying and want to just leave everything behind. I also feel extremely lost, which causes the crying. I'm often having to put my head in my hands just to pull myself together. Everyone notices. I have to count to myself to control it, which is excruciating.

Other times, I'm extremely bouncy and happy and feel lightheaded with giddiness. I want to jump around and say silly nonsensical things and sometimes in this stage, I feel so extremely self confident that who ever was making me sad before now made me feel bad for them, because I'm so much better than them.

I swing through these emotion switches all through the day.

Also: I can't focus in school, AT ALL. This has happened since I was little.
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Old November 2nd, 2012, 11:32 PM   #2
Prettylittlepuppy
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Name: Alex
Join Date: October 22, 2012
Location: Tallahassee,Florida
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Default Re: Help Diagnose Me?

Hi, I too suffer with depression and anxiety. So I do think that this is a chemical inbalance in the brain, so go see a psychiatrist to get medicine. In the meanwhile, I would reading up on self-help blogs and using positive affirmations when you are in your depressive bouts. Finding something you enjoy might also help (Video games, a musical instrument, reading, etc.). Don't worry so much too, I have a feeling that you may be overthinking this a bit, but still, this has a lot to do with being a teenager. Good luck!
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Old November 22nd, 2012, 10:07 AM   #3
Shaka
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Default Re: Help Diagnose Me?

Quoting the heck out of you,won't hold 'shift'.

'From what I've researched, I think I have depression and ADD. Let's explore why, and what my symptoms are (Thanks.)'

Lets.

I think I'm depressed because I constantly feel alone and just terribly sad, even when somebody's there holding my hand.' -this from a near overdose of alienation / A lack of bonding or understanding as you mention later.
"I often don't want to exist (To be clear, NOT DIE- just not exist." That's probably because dieing is far sadder then the simple urge to be able to just "Go" and not have to deal with a right now un-findable "it"

" I feel too much guilt with associating dying with it)." -you'd hurt those around who care for you? ie the ones holding your hands.

"I can't handle being yelled at anymore. I feel like no one understands me, like I'm on a different wavelength." ~ It's cuz' you are, cuz, and your brainwaves are just one mode of it. There's a bit of telepathy going on with anyone, just not between anyone in your life yet and you, on the plane where you have your feelings and crises. Don't let that effect you, you have to love them but tolerate their erm, tolerances, biases, beliefs, fears, and blockages, just as they tolerate your excessive and (to them) unpredictable or (still to them) irrational behavior.

"In the mornings especially, but not exclusively, I feel extreme rage and sadness and an inability to cope. I often cry for no reason in the mornings and lash out at everyone around me." ~ That'd be your Fire and will to drive coming out in frustration because all your attempts to communicate reasons to them will fail because they do not understand, nor do you yet, fully. I have had these, yet I was able to hold most of them in and probably did more spiritual harm then I know.

" In these mood swings, I feel like actually dying and want to just leave everything behind. " Everything so Earthly here and in some places and times along are road seems so hopeless, so terrible, and when we're not going up it's instead like being torn apart in the bottoms of hell. It's enough to say or scream "No More!" . This cry, of course, is not answered by there not being more, but by exhaustion and lack of muse, which is to say everything wonderful and dare I say it magical in this world.

"I also feel extremely lost, which causes the crying. I'm often having to put my head in my hands just to pull myself together." Centering, alligning/synchronizing the hemispheres,and grounding what feels like a mental storm.

"Everyone notices." ~ and you know they do/will even before you do it and like me and others them noticing with tragically revolting-sickening concern or worry does well to feed the anger, frustration, and sense of -aloneness- that you have.

"I have to count to myself to control it, which is excruciating." That is taking your left hemisphere's numbers and letters to cover up and control awareness -and-the-storm centered in your right, find peace in other, more centered ways at all costs, if you leave the room, possibly the house, and can get away from their thoughts you will not have such a hard time regaining order or trying for harmony.

"Other times, I'm extremely bouncy and happy and feel lightheaded with giddiness." ~ Will usually come with unusual grace and a knack for seeing things. Inferences. Toys. Emotions of people, motions of people, and just about every kind of motion, with some or much delight or at least recognition for both beautiful and normal things seen.

" I want to jump around and say silly nonsensical things and sometimes in this stage, ~ You would rhyme easily, climb easily, do things people wouldn't mind you do if they'd let you try easily, and the feel of menial and physical agility.


" I feel so extremely self confident that who ever was making me sad before now made me feel bad for them, because I'm so much better than them. "
~Hubris will bite you in the ass every time for what you think, you know this or will know it before long, yet your confidence is not ungrounded and you are pretty much benevolent boss when you keep this state going but,,, your irregularity and feverish loss of face/identity makes those around you extremely unsure about you, even when you are the one sure person in the room or for miles.


If you have great reasons to doubt that your intense feelings, certainties, fatalities, and fears have grounds in the real physicality of the world, in other words: if you were a crazy fool rather then a person of intense awareness and difficult to pursue chain of Emotions who is frustrated from a well neigh complete disintegration from a werld (Theosaurus - Werld/world - lookitup) that has lost most of its animal sanity in exchange for symmetry and a terrible right-hand-left-hemispherical overbalance (_pause_gasping_breath_) then you might just need some mediocatin. But, as I see it, we're living in a world that does not understand people, what they are, what they're capable of, or how more then 90% of them are pretty teriffically mentally injured. You'll have to deal with who and what you are no matter what they prescribe you. Yes, brain chemistry is involved, but if you're afraid of fallingdon't let them mistakenly clip your wings mid takeoff or early flight or ever if you can handle yourself.

Work it whoever you are, you can bring people around you up, you really can, but first you must find your ground.Perhaps another sane person that is going or has gone through some of the same motions as you would help, right now anyways that might just be me. I don't know how to cure you, I don't know if you can or would want to be cured should you have the choice and a foreknowing of what it would entail losing. It will balance out over time if can learn to come down from hyper-acceleration without having to slow down by hitting a hard object, so you can get along with people and develop more of a peaceful relationship with them.
A few things:

You will find more like you

It will be bad if you talk too much about supra-normal stuff with those who are not like you. It WILL NOT WORK if you feel any doubts about speaking,
Anyone hears doubts, they do not need to be like us, and it will only further alienation anyhow, unless you are not telling them anything or braging or whatever you plan to do but instead just being yourself utterly and doing things that they can find unusual, interesting, whatever they find what you do it doesn't matter, all that matters is what you do and if you lapse into thinking that what they think is what matters then you're headlong into Pride or Paranoia and neither feeling will help you more then the other. Be sure, but don't get a big head or lose sight of rationalization and the translations you'll need to communicate complex things through little common languages


I've told you much of what I've thought, and so you can get a picture of who's saying this I'll say alittle to do with me.



I'm cold, and the night is late, and I've been through all that before to the point wherein you'd have caught me in red pands, suit, tie, and fedora at the college campus, carrying a suitcase and successfully balancing on the wooden banester outside the chemistry/science building singing and stomping and crouching (the ceiling was low up there) to the beat of an English tune by the band Madness by day at the community college due to early graduation by day, and by night be in a seriously dark stoop from which I was utterly irretrievable by normal aliens, I-mean humans.. ImeanFriends.
So, anyways, reverse that sometimes, and by morning I'd be sprung from bed the instant my alarm goes, Terribly durressed, tumultuous, and in other words TORMENTED at school, then mildly content (or furious, whatever storm hits the boat), by when I get back, then I'd be a sociable drinking clam with a heart of gold and nerves steel, or molten steel, or plasma.
Nervous sometimes.
Clumsy sometimes.
Mispoken sometimes.
Calmer then stone at rare instances.
As agile as a precog in some instances.
Eloquent as a poet and with lyricism to boot when my throat chakra's in good alignment. Oh yeah, did I mention, Chakras, good way to study the brain those are, but it took me years to figure them out pretty good at last with a nudge from a book.
Wish to destroy irritating things or launch a military campaign sometimes.
A in reading comprehension.
A in most things worth an interest.
Unbelievable rage and lack of concentration with standardized testing when young, tapering near end of high school.
Got along Exceedingly well with my eccentric, one on one Science teacher;
Hated monotony.
Tried very hard in the martial arts, when in good moods am excellent with kid and adults.
Became intrigued in my studies when I went to college for the first real time. In most college classes, good reppore with teachers, well liked and still cripplingly alone, though I was starting to have peers.
Intrigued beyond all delight in ceratain aspects of certain classes, including Jazz dance, Physics, Math, Music Theory, Music reading, Singing, Economics, Psych, and random meatings with people on the bus/atstation/around.
Building and all of physics,wll the real mark physics please stand up, please stand up, please stand up and go to bed it's 7 a.m, and cold and birds are chirping. Well someone doesn't have ADD and I don't know if it's you, but if you've red this and followed it then make one someone two.

Oh, one more, two more bits, the second i think is covered so long as you got empathy. I do hope you've got empathy, yeah, yeah I am not too tired.

"I swing through these emotion switches all through the day."

You know you don't need bipolar disorder to do that. Just sensitivity.



Also: I can't focus in school, AT ALL. This has happened since I was little." Le me too, except when it's physical or, heck here's a video about school, see if you get it. I'd be incredulous if you didnt, now I'm just being delirious even as I scowl a that statement because "delirious" isn't a word with its real meaning lain plain.

Put up with his Englishness for a munute, he's quite good fellow, the professor knight at this address:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1yl0MFYzXc

Goodnight, so I hope this message syncs up to you well, yours truly: Shaka Azule Sickels, whoever you are, as I have no idea except for what the
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Old November 22nd, 2012, 03:29 PM   #4
Cicero
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Default Re: Help Diagnose Me?

VT cannot diagnose you. Only your doctor or psychiatrist can. But constant ups and downs can be a sign of bipolar.

Last edited by Cicero; November 22nd, 2012 at 03:41 PM.
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