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Old January 12th, 2019, 12:05 AM   #1
pinkfire87
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Name: Abby
Join Date: December 20, 2012
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Default i'm starting to get concerned for my friend

Long story short my best friend has been fluctuating with depression for the past few months and its hurting me to see him like this plus im starting to get concerned.

So over the past summer he and this girl at his job became friends and used the term besties. They also developed some what of a thing. (I know its bad to have a thing with co-workers but who am I to stop them) From what he told me it wasn't just a thing they used to talk all the time and loved having shifts together and always had a blast on shifts together.

In October their boss at the job left on the store out of nowhere and there was an issue with the days he was working so they didnt have shifts together. He told me that her grandmother died in the few weeks he was trying to fix his shifts and during the time they started to become distant. But they both are in school and were somewhat busy with that as well.

Well near the end of October maybe early November he called me upset and was thinking of going to the ER because of how bad he was. I guess no one at the job was talking to him and then complaining how quiet he was (hes not the type to be quiet hes very outgoing)

A few weeks later he snap chatted me after he got out of work that he was in the ER and I went to pick him up and he said they said it was just an anxiety attack. But this is when it all started getting worse.

He started to struggle and not care about school anymore and barely finished the semester. From what I can tell it bothered him that someone just bailed on him out of his life like that and can't give him a straight answer to why. He has always felt like a black sheep in life and a lot of people have bailed out on him through out his life like more than normal. And now when he works with this girl they argue and aren't getting along.

So this has been bothering him so flash forewords to New Years day. She had already removed him on snap and instagram (i know this isnt a big deal but it is the downfall of these two) and so he removed her on facebook and he noticed she blocked him so he texted her calling her out and trying to figure out what is going on.

I saw the texts and her first reply was that she was still upset about her grandmothers passing witch is 100% reasonable and that shes been busy at school but he got her to say more. After that she said he pissed her off because he said something and she didnt want to talk to him until she calmed down and she felt that he made everything about him lately. I'm trying to keep this short but all she said was that she was sad one day because it was her grandmas birthday and she misses her and he said if it makes you feel better I had to recently go to the ER with an anxiety attack. I know that wasn't the best thing to say but it was just his way to try to lighten the mood. and for the everything about him part I have heard about everything thats happened all hes doing is trying to figure out why she switched up on him and knows the answers shes giving aren't true.

So now they dont talk and he left his job not for that reason that job was very bad for him with issues but this didnt help. He knows she isnt telling him the truth and what it seems like is when she started making friends at her school she didnt want him anymore, or because she has a potential bf she flaked on him because of what they did.

He's gotten to the point of him being mad at her for lying to him and all this crap so he doesnt full care anymore but he would like closure. Im watching him become a mess. Hes depressed but not and just feeling numb about everything. Most of his friends just told him to get over it but im trying to help.

He thinks about her a lot and wonders what happened but he didn't have a crush on her he just misses what they had and their friendship. One of the downsides was even though they were so simular they were 7 years apart (both over 18) so their lifes were different. I think she just switched up on him because she made friends at school and thats really stupid.

But what can I do to help him move on and forget about this or tips I can give him to overcome this?
Hes starting to get distant with a lot of people lately and our mutual friends ask me all the time whats wrong with him, plus most of his other friends that he hangs with are in relationships now so they dont chill with him anymore.

It hurts me so mich to see him like this
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Old January 12th, 2019, 08:37 AM   #2
ska8er
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Name: Andy
Join Date: August 23, 2013
Location: Pennsylvania USA
Age: 18
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Default Re: i'm starting to get concerned for my friend

Its possible that he is pressuring her too much
to have the way it was before and she is upset
with her Grandmothers death and right now
wants to have her own space. He might b a
little too anxious and this is y he is causing a
drift in being friends and at work. Tell him to
chill and also give her time and then after
awhile maybe they will end up talking again.

Be there for him and let him talk it out.

Last edited by ska8er; January 12th, 2019 at 09:12 AM.
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Old January 12th, 2019, 01:34 PM   #3
pinkfire87
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Name: Abby
Join Date: December 20, 2012
Gender: Female
Default Re: i'm starting to get concerned for my friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
Its possible that he is pressuring her too much
to have the way it was before and she is upset
with her Grandmothers death and right now
wants to have her own space. He might b a
little too anxious and this is y he is causing a
drift in being friends and at work. Tell him to
chill and also give her time and then after
awhile maybe they will end up talking again.

Be there for him and let him talk it out.
I mean thats a possibility but it started all happening before her death. He also showed me a weird conversation they had were she said they are still friends like other friends of hers but they dont need to talk still because their busy with their own social interactions which kind of contradicts its self.

I think it comes down to her being flaky and she doest realize it or want to admit it but we may never know. I want to try to reach out to her and have a girl on girl talk about it but i know hed never allow it especially how they aren't talking at all anymore and blocked each-other from everything

Its a reall sad situation and sadly im the only one thats there for him in it, even his councilors aren't helping him with it. I really hope that time heals it for him
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Old January 12th, 2019, 02:23 PM   #4
ska8er
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Name: Andy
Join Date: August 23, 2013
Location: Pennsylvania USA
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Default Re: i'm starting to get concerned for my friend

I would just b there for him and let him
vent to u. I would not bother getting in
touch with the girl. Don't get mixed up
in it. She might get defensive. If he gets
anxiety attacks it would b best if he went
back to c a doctor. This might b over for
him so he has to move on and find some
one else.
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