Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old September 7th, 2017, 07:12 AM   #1
Abhorrence
Death
 
Abhorrence's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: October 28, 2014
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default So...

I never thought I'd be back here to make a post about how life is going, especially not in this sub-forum. Somehow, I've managed to turn my life around. I'm not doing anything spectacular, don't get me wrong. I decided to leave education behind and go into full time work in October last year. Well, I made the decision to leave education behind and do nothing for a few months and in those few months I was probably at my darkest. But, anyway, I got promoted at work today. I only work at a bar, so I'm not doing anything that anybody else hasn't done before but when I believed that my future never even existed last year, I think it's a great achievement.

I'm pretty sure hardly anybody will even remember me and even less will even care about my post, but I just want to write something down. I used to frequent these forums a lot - I was a moderator for nearly a year and during that time I was incredibly mentally fucked (I'm still struggling, in some aspects, but doing a lot better). I stopped writing on here probably well over a year ago, not really letting anybody know of anything that was going on so I'll start with that story.

In December 2015, I stopped self-harming after around three years of doing so. I thought that would be the end to one of the greatest struggles of my life, but it turns out that self-harm was nothing compared to what I was going to face in 2016. Things just got really shitty. I left education for my boyfriend at the time who ended up being (to put it simply) a bad person. So, whilst I was not at school or anything I ended up getting pretty heavily involved in drugs. I would be dealing weed to get by, which doesn't sound particularly deep - I mean it isn't... but the culture that came with it was bad. It wasn't long before I started taking more shit. By the Summer of last year I would be spending my time in a trap house, addicted to morphine and alcohol and going to work part-time at a retail store. I threw up at work more times that I went. I was literally killing myself more than self-harm ever did to me. There were days when I'd wake up and get up, to go to a job whilst still drunk or high or both. I was just a waste of space. I was having sex with this guy who basically provided me all the drugs.

In late August I cut things off with that particular guy and early September I met a guy who would later become my boyfriend. Things started to slowly improve, I decided that college wasn't for me and that was fine - but I couldn't find a job. I was stuck, pretending for months that I was going to college when I wasn't - my mum still doesn't know I quit three months before I got my job. It's weird, I remember feeling so fucking useless in the last quarter of 2016. Worse than when I was addicted to the shit. I felt like my life was going nowhere and I felt like I should just kill myself - more than I ever did before. At least before I had school to give me a purpose, but at this point I was 18 (a legal adult) and fucking useless.

The worst day was halloween last year. I took acid for the first time. It fucked me up. It terrified me. I tried killing my friend, I lost all my shit and then got arrested. They let me go without charge, it wasn't really an arrest they just could see I was completely fucked up and wanted me to be safe. After that I knew I needed to sort things out. It took me another month but with my boyfriend's help I got a job. Literally, it is nothing special I just work for a pub chain in the UK.

But this job, it gained me so much confidence, so many friends. I went from being anxious and shy and pathetic to actually living my life, having my own money, buying my own things. It's so weird how you can find hope in the strangest of places. My life completely changed, I still stuck with the people from last year but we've all grown the fuck up. We're moving out, going on holiday and living our life without all the fucking shit.

Anyways, my reason for making this post. A year ago today I would've been stuck in a hole, doing whatever substance to make me feel somewhat alive... and today I got a promotion. I've been deemed good enough to move up higher in the chain. Me. The person who last year was addicted to morphine and doing nothing but smoking weed and drinking all day. It's fucking weird.

I don't know why anyone would wanna read any of this, but if you keep trying things eventually go your way. You have to work. You have to be positive. You have to actually try. I have realised now that so many of my problems stemmed from the fact that I couldn't be bothered to do anything about them. I moaned and complained and cut and waited for things to get better. But I never actually did anything to fix them. I took all the bullshit, I didn't cut people out, I let people treat me however they wanted. You have to take control of your life. Sometimes it's fucking hard and you have to go through hell to get there... but it's worth it. The hell is worth the happiness - because happiness feels fucking amazing.


Nothing will be waiting for you at the end of this life.

Ask // Private Message
~Mike was here~
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elysium
Spooky scary labia
Likes: (4)
Abhorrence is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 7th, 2017, 09:13 AM   #2
Plane And Simple
Good Life
 
Plane And Simple's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: August 10, 2011
Location: 40,000ft above the earth
Age: 19
Gender: Cisgender Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: So...

I've read this from start to end with a big smile on my face. I'm SO happy you're doing better, and I'm glad things are looking better for you. Keep it up, I want updates in some time with even better news


Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadin View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kooy View Post
Im still virgin
I'm not,math and physics f*** me every day.
Likes: (1)
Plane And Simple is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 7th, 2017, 09:58 AM   #3
rioo
Member++
 
rioo's Forum Picture
 
Name: Rio
Join Date: September 29, 2014
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Default Re: So...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abhorrence View Post
You have to work. You have to be positive. You have to actually try. I have realised now that so many of my problems stemmed from the fact that I couldn't be bothered to do anything about them. .
I love this sentence. This is also my problem in my past.
and this is good news from you.
rioo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 7th, 2017, 10:16 AM   #4
Dalcourt
Who dat
 
Dalcourt's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: February 25, 2014
Location: Crescent City
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: So...

I do remember you and I read through all of your post.
I am really happy for you.
I always try to stay positive and work hard on myself...some people always tell me it's use but you gave prove it is worth it.

So yeah once again I'm happy to hear you are doing good.
Dalcourt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 7th, 2017, 11:00 AM   #5
Vermilion
Awesome Poster
 
Vermilion's Forum Picture
 
Name: ....
Join Date: January 31, 2015
Location: ...
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: So...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abhorrence View Post
I never thought I'd be back here to make a post about how life is going, especially not in this sub-forum. Somehow, I've managed to turn my life around. I'm not doing anything spectacular, don't get me wrong. I decided to leave education behind and go into full time work in October last year. Well, I made the decision to leave education behind and do nothing for a few months and in those few months I was probably at my darkest. But, anyway, I got promoted at work today. I only work at a bar, so I'm not doing anything that anybody else hasn't done before but when I believed that my future never even existed last year, I think it's a great achievement.

I'm pretty sure hardly anybody will even remember me and even less will even care about my post, but I just want to write something down. I used to frequent these forums a lot - I was a moderator for nearly a year and during that time I was incredibly mentally fucked (I'm still struggling, in some aspects, but doing a lot better). I stopped writing on here probably well over a year ago, not really letting anybody know of anything that was going on so I'll start with that story.

In December 2015, I stopped self-harming after around three years of doing so. I thought that would be the end to one of the greatest struggles of my life, but it turns out that self-harm was nothing compared to what I was going to face in 2016. Things just got really shitty. I left education for my boyfriend at the time who ended up being (to put it simply) a bad person. So, whilst I was not at school or anything I ended up getting pretty heavily involved in drugs. I would be dealing weed to get by, which doesn't sound particularly deep - I mean it isn't... but the culture that came with it was bad. It wasn't long before I started taking more shit. By the Summer of last year I would be spending my time in a trap house, addicted to morphine and alcohol and going to work part-time at a retail store. I threw up at work more times that I went. I was literally killing myself more than self-harm ever did to me. There were days when I'd wake up and get up, to go to a job whilst still drunk or high or both. I was just a waste of space. I was having sex with this guy who basically provided me all the drugs.

In late August I cut things off with that particular guy and early September I met a guy who would later become my boyfriend. Things started to slowly improve, I decided that college wasn't for me and that was fine - but I couldn't find a job. I was stuck, pretending for months that I was going to college when I wasn't - my mum still doesn't know I quit three months before I got my job. It's weird, I remember feeling so fucking useless in the last quarter of 2016. Worse than when I was addicted to the shit. I felt like my life was going nowhere and I felt like I should just kill myself - more than I ever did before. At least before I had school to give me a purpose, but at this point I was 18 (a legal adult) and fucking useless.

The worst day was halloween last year. I took acid for the first time. It fucked me up. It terrified me. I tried killing my friend, I lost all my shit and then got arrested. They let me go without charge, it wasn't really an arrest they just could see I was completely fucked up and wanted me to be safe. After that I knew I needed to sort things out. It took me another month but with my boyfriend's help I got a job. Literally, it is nothing special I just work for a pub chain in the UK.

But this job, it gained me so much confidence, so many friends. I went from being anxious and shy and pathetic to actually living my life, having my own money, buying my own things. It's so weird how you can find hope in the strangest of places. My life completely changed, I still stuck with the people from last year but we've all grown the fuck up. We're moving out, going on holiday and living our life without all the fucking shit.

Anyways, my reason for making this post. A year ago today I would've been stuck in a hole, doing whatever substance to make me feel somewhat alive... and today I got a promotion. I've been deemed good enough to move up higher in the chain. Me. The person who last year was addicted to morphine and doing nothing but smoking weed and drinking all day. It's fucking weird.

I don't know why anyone would wanna read any of this, but if you keep trying things eventually go your way. You have to work. You have to be positive. You have to actually try. I have realised now that so many of my problems stemmed from the fact that I couldn't be bothered to do anything about them. I moaned and complained and cut and waited for things to get better. But I never actually did anything to fix them. I took all the bullshit, I didn't cut people out, I let people treat me however they wanted. You have to take control of your life. Sometimes it's fucking hard and you have to go through hell to get there... but it's worth it. The hell is worth the happiness - because happiness feels fucking amazing.

Jack !! It's great to hear from you and I was concerned about you and I'm happy That you have improved so much it's truly great to hear from you.
Vermilion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 7th, 2017, 12:31 PM   #6
SethfromMI
Legendary Member
 
SethfromMI's Forum Picture
 
Name: Seth
Join Date: October 10, 2014
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Default Re: So...

Jack my friend do you know how much I have always admired you and cared about you? you were one of my first friends on here man. I care about you like crazy. I am so happy to hear things have improved for you man. I hope they keep getting better for you. your such a valuable person, never let anyone tell you, you don't matter because you do. I will write you a message. I am glad you gave us an update, I was worried about you my friend

19 | M | BI

Always Up For A Chat!


~ Seth
SethfromMI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 7th, 2017, 12:40 PM   #7
Mars
Awesome Poster
 
Mars's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: August 26, 2015
Location: NYC
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: So...

Im so glad to be hearing from you man ^^ I was worried when you left, but it's awesome to see that you're doing better. Keep up the positive vibes n remember there are people who care for you


"The head may err, but never the blood."
FAQ | Catch me here | Email
Nice salt pouch, asshole
Quote:
Originally Posted by StoppingTom View Post
so if he pulls these shenanigans again, I'm whipping out the long dick of the law on him

~Mike Was Here~
Mars is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:02 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org