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Old August 28th, 2008, 06:44 PM   #781
ShatteredWings
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

haha

wow

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Old August 29th, 2008, 07:15 PM   #782
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles. "Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"


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Old August 29th, 2008, 07:17 PM   #783
ShatteredWings
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

haha

why are these types of jokes the only ones i get?
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Old August 29th, 2008, 07:24 PM   #784
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The Career Ambitions of Babies (you'll love this one Gwyn )

There were three babies in a woman's womb, and they were discussing what they would like to be when they were out in the world and grown up.

The first one said "I wanna be a plumber." The others laughed at this, and asked why he wanted be be a plumber. He replied, "So I can fix the pipes in here, it's kinda leaky."
The second one said "I wanna be an electrician." The others thought this was kind of silly too and asked why. The second baby answered, "so I can get some lights in here, its dark!"
The third one said, "I wanna be a boxer." The others thought this was hilarious, and laughed for a full five minutes, before asking, "Why in God's name do you want to be a boxer?" He replied, "So," he said proudly, "I can beat the hell out of that bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us.


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Hello again VirtualTeen. you blackhole.

No tears to cry
No feelings left
This species has
Amused itself to death
Last.FM
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Old August 29th, 2008, 07:30 PM   #785
ShatteredWings
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hilarous
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Old August 29th, 2008, 08:11 PM   #786
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hahaha that's great

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Old August 29th, 2008, 08:34 PM   #787
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like it matt, funny stuff!

stephen

Always Hawthorn

Hawthorn Football Club

Strong As One

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Old August 29th, 2008, 08:36 PM   #788
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That's one of my favorite jokes you said
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Old August 29th, 2008, 08:51 PM   #789
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Genious X^D

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Old August 30th, 2008, 12:12 PM   #790
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You might be a redneck if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers."


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Hello again VirtualTeen. you blackhole.

No tears to cry
No feelings left
This species has
Amused itself to death
Last.FM
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Old August 30th, 2008, 05:39 PM   #791
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A blonde walks into an STD booth to call her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost 10 dollars, she exclaims: "I don't have any money. But I'd do anything to call my mother." The man arches an eyebrows. "Really?" he asks. "Yes, yes, anything!" she says. "Well, then, just follow me," says the man, walking to the next room. "Come in and close the door," the man said. She does. He then says, "Now, go ahead, take it out..." he says. She reaches in and grabs it with both hands and then pauses. The man closes his eyes and whispers, "Well...go ahead." The blonde slowly brings her mouth closer to it and, while holding it close to her lips, tentatively says, "Hello, Mum, can you hear me?"
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Old August 31st, 2008, 01:24 PM   #792
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What do Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?

They both put 50 year old meat in 5 year old buns.


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Hello again VirtualTeen. you blackhole.

No tears to cry
No feelings left
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Last.FM
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Old August 31st, 2008, 01:31 PM   #793
ShatteredWings
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you stole that one. lol still nice tho
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Old August 31st, 2008, 04:16 PM   #794
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

That was one of those jokes to get this reaction:

ERGH
HAAAAAAAAAH!

Well, from me anyways

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Old September 1st, 2008, 02:16 PM   #795
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Late one night a mouse finds a bit of Guiness on the floor of a bar. He takes a few licks of it and howls out at the moon saying "WHERE IS THAT GOD DAMN CAT!?!"

Three mice are in a bar and are talking about how tough they are.

The first mouse says "I take the cheese from mouse traps and bench press it thirty times before throwing it across the room!"

The second mouse says "You think that's tough? I once out ran three cats."

The third mouse chugs the rest of his drink and heads for the door. The two other mice say "Hey! Where are you goin'?" and the mouse says "Home to fuck the cat."


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Originally Posted by Brighter.Tomorrow View Post
Hello again VirtualTeen. you blackhole.

No tears to cry
No feelings left
This species has
Amused itself to death
Last.FM
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Old September 1st, 2008, 02:21 PM   #796
ShatteredWings
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles



damn
hahaa! nice

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VT turned me lesbo acid wankers wtf.
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Old September 1st, 2008, 04:20 PM   #797
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

"Late one night a mouse finds a bit of Guiness on the floor of a bar. He takes a few licks of it and howls out at the moon saying "WHERE IS THAT GOD DAMN CAT!?!""
I don't get it

Heh to the other one

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Old September 2nd, 2008, 01:52 PM   #798
Sugaree
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The mouse is drunk so he thinks he's tough enough to take on the cat.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brighter.Tomorrow View Post
Hello again VirtualTeen. you blackhole.

No tears to cry
No feelings left
This species has
Amused itself to death
Last.FM
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Old September 4th, 2008, 01:49 PM   #799
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

I don't know if this one was said here before.

Q: If you toss a blonde and a brunette off a building, at the same time, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette.
Q: Why?
A: Because the blonde stopped to ask for directions!
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Old September 4th, 2008, 04:31 PM   #800
BeautifulSilence
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

What' white and flies upward?

A stupid snowflake

That made me laugh when I was 10, but that's because it was the funniest in the retardedly stupid joke book

~Laura was here~
Bethlouise <3
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