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Old May 12th, 2010, 03:24 AM   #1
Dopestep
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Let me start out by saying this, im not a really fidgety person who runs around and cant control himself. actually im sort of the opposite most of the time. i have noticed however that i have a number of undesirable traits which lead me to the conclusion that i have ADD or maybe even ADHD.

First off my hands are always doing something (normally spinning my cellphone around between my fingers whenever its available) and my legs are almost always shaking. people are always commenting about how im shaking the desk or a car or w.e. More symptoms include the inability to do my homework or certain tasks. i cant explain the feeling exactly but whenever i try and force myself to sit down and do hw my brain goes on some kind of weird lockdown and my mind feels extremely cluttered and i cant focus at all cause all i can think is "i needa do this hw now so i should start it now" but for some reason i cant seem to get past that on most days.

Also i have a low self esteem even tho theres nothing i can pinpoint thats wrong with me and im constantly looking into every mirror i pass. sometimes im a few minutes late to school in the morning cause i stand in front of the mirror messing my hair up and then repositioning it the way i like it and then once i do i just mess it up and redo it again.

another weird effect thats tied in with the low self esteem is that often times when walking through a group of my peers at school by myself i begin to get nervous and i start breathing a little heavier and i forget how to walk without thinking so i do it manually and i have to like force my legs to move and i feel like my gait has changed during this instances.

sometimes im extremely outgoing with groups of friends and im the loudest and i begin to say and do things without really thinking first cause my mind is moving a million miles an hour while other times i feel depressed and i become extremely introverted and i feel ok sitting at home all day by myself. i have alot of friends but i dont have any really close best friends i think because unlike others i cant seem to keep constant communication with my friends like they do between eachother.

i feel like every activity or hobby i try always ends the same way cause i just cant stay into it. im fairly good at alot of different things but im not exceptional at anything. i always wanna try every activity i can hear of. one example is over the summer when one day for some reason the thought popped into my head that i wanted to be able to do a standing backflip. after the thought wouldnt leave my head for a few hours i finally just went outside with a few friends and started flinging myself into a flip without any instruction or prior experience (i couldnt even do a cartwheel at the time).

it takes me atleast an hour to get to sleep at night too (and i go lay in my bed attempting to sleep at 11) school starts at 7 so i have to wake up at 6 in the morning meaning that i get about 6 hours or less of sleep at night. why dont i just go to bed at 9 or 10? cause ive tried before and when i do i end up not getting to sleep till 12 anyways. as you can see its 12:36am right now on a school night and im still up. i tried to sleep earlier but instead i ended up thinking about why im like this and what causes me to do all these things (its not the first time the thoughts crossed my mind that i have ADD) ive actually had these thoughts in my head as early as around 7th grade (now in 12th).

other symptons include a room that is constantly messy. i have waterbottles and soda cans all over my counters along with other random trash. my clothes are all over the floor and no matter how many times i clean my room and decide to commit to keeping it clean i find myself 2 or 3 days later wondering how it got right back to being messy again already.

often times in class (and elsewhere) i will begin to lose focus without even realizing it and then when i finally realize and snap back to attention ive missed alot of info. looking at my grades youd think i was a less than intelligent student however looking at a breakdown of my grades you would notice that all tests and quizes average about a 90% or more while my overall hw grade is always in the D or more likely the F range. kids are always asking me how i beat them on tests without doing any homework or studying at all. ive even had a teacher accuse me of cheating on my biology final cause i got the best score on it out of every student who took that final (4 periods of classes and about 30 students per class so around 120 students) while having a D overall in the class.

also (as you can tell) i cant tell a story for shit cause it takes me forever to get to the point. i go on random tangents and often forget my point completely about half way through a story. as a young kid my dad would tell me to go do something or get something upstairs and by the time i got to my location i had completely forgot what i was going to do. luckily my short term memory has improved alot but many other symptoms have gotten much worse.

to be honest i wouldnt be on this site writing this massive wall of text if it wasnt for the fact that atleast 80% of my thoughts throughout the day involve me wondering why the hell i dont work like everyone else or planning ways to solve my issues which never seem to work or convincing myself that im just lazy and that today is the day that ill start doing everything i should do on time and that i can work just the same as everyone else but im just not trying as hard as them. i keep thinking this mindset will go away and one day ill just learn some secret tip that i never knew that everyone else does which will make my life easier and finally calm my mind. this cant be normal. there has to be something wrong with me. the weird thing is no one else has any clue whats always going through my mind. not to pat myself on the back but i actually feel a little proud of myself that im able to hide all this stuff so well. im not the weird kid in school or anything like that.

I feel a little better just knowing that im finally revealing this to get some kind of feedback on it (although i didnt sit down expecting to write this much, like i said tho i go on a lot of tangents especially when i type on forums. believe it or not i actually wrote alot that didnt end up staying in, after typing up some tangents i realize their completely pointless and end up just removing it and moving on to the next thought.) maybe ill be able to sleep better now. idk, its now 1:18am and should probably stop writing now cause the more i write the less people will read it.

Note: i wrote this all as one big chunk of text and then after finishing went back and added some breaks in between to make it easier on the eyes. hopefully atleast a few of you will read the entire thing.

Sorry for writing you guys a book on my inner thoughts and workings =/

tl;dr - i have alot of symptoms which lead me to believe i have add or adhd and i want to know how you deal with it personally or any feedback you may have even if you dont have add or adhd

Please read this. i just dont have anyone id wanna talk to this kinda stuff about in my life just yet and believe id benefit greatly if i was to get some feedback from someone who read the entire post and can relate with me in some way.

also i forgot to mention that although ive never talked to my dad about the possibility of me having ADHD he is very strong minded and ive heard him mention before that if me or my brother ever got diagnosed with ADHD he wouldnt want to get it treated with medication cause he thinks its unneccessary and just makes kids even more messed up than they were before. (he was on this subject because my younger cousin has severe Hyperactive adhd and he is on meds for it)

also im not to sure id really wanna be on a perscription drug for adhd. ive been reading about it today and it seems alot of people end up with life long changes to their personality or other dangerous side effects like addiction. i want this to go away more than anything cause it affects every moment of my life but idk if its worth my health.

Please don't triple post, use the edit button. That's what it's here for - Kaius

Last edited by Kaius; May 12th, 2010 at 09:16 AM.
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Old May 12th, 2010, 04:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: Im Fairly Certain I Have ADD or ADHD.

See a professional is all I can say. They can help you if you do have ADD/ADHD.

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Old May 12th, 2010, 09:18 AM   #3
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Default Re: Im Fairly Certain I Have ADD or ADHD.

In situations like this self diagnosing is the worst thing to do. Everyone is going to have a few symptoms of every illness going once in their lives, but it doesn't mean they necessarily have those illnesses. If you're concerned get yourself to a counsellor. If you're unsure of how to get one your GP/Doctor can refer you to one, there are many to choose from.
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Old May 12th, 2010, 11:37 AM   #4
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Default Re: Im Fairly Certain I Have ADD or ADHD.

what is the use wiht self diagnosing? ok so you might have ADD or ADHD... now what will you do with that..? go to a doctor, let them diagnos you so they can give you meds to help you. i hope all goes well for you, and you get some help, becaue i know how hard it is wihtout help.. PM me if you need me.
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Old May 12th, 2010, 04:58 PM   #5
Dopestep
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Default Re: Im Fairly Certain I Have ADD or ADHD.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barış, sevgi ve ışık View Post
what is the use wiht self diagnosing? ok so you might have ADD or ADHD... now what will you do with that..? go to a doctor, let them diagnos you so they can give you meds to help you. i hope all goes well for you, and you get some help, becaue i know how hard it is wihtout help.. PM me if you need me.
well i plan on seeing a doctor but i figured if i came to forum with other people with adhd they might be able to say "yea that sounds like what i deal with" or "no that sounds like something else"

i just want a second opinion from someone who knows what theyre talking about before i ask my dad to waste some of his time and money on something that may not even be real in my case.
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Old May 12th, 2010, 07:01 PM   #6
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Default Re: Im Fairly Certain I Have ADD or ADHD.

I have ADHD. I would say go see a psychiatrist they can diagnose you because we can't don't that kind of thing over the internet. I was put on the meds and I really didn't like being on them. I felt like a dog. For some they work. When it comes to dealing with it. I just work on one thing at a time if you struggle with staying focused on multiple things at one time. When it comes to the fidgeting there really isn't that much that you can do I still do it. Just try and work at things one activity/thing at a time you will absorb the information better. It's not easy dealing with it all the time, but if I can deal with it anyone can. I hope you find out for sure man. if you ever need someone to talk to about this VM me anytime. I'm here to help. Good luck

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Old May 14th, 2010, 11:09 AM   #7
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Default Re: Im Fairly Certain I Have ADD or ADHD.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dopestep View Post
well i plan on seeing a doctor but i figured if i came to forum with other people with adhd they might be able to say "yea that sounds like what i deal with" or "no that sounds like something else"

i just want a second opinion from someone who knows what theyre talking about before i ask my dad to waste some of his time and money on something that may not even be real in my case.
If your question is is it worth going to see a doc over, the answer is yes.

If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
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