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Old May 13th, 2009, 04:43 PM   #1
Θάνατος
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Default I feel like just ending it.

I have tried to get a real life and quit hanging on the Internet the past 3 weeks. I am now even more lonely than I was before and the bad thing is now I don't have the closeness and support from my online friends that I once had.

I sit here crying as I write this wondering why in the fuck do I want to keep living.

My life is so fucked up right now and I have started drinking a lot lately. I even started smoking weed again and I am sure once my close online see that I have started smoking wee again they will quit talking to me.

My one close friend that I can always depend on, well I have lately not been a good friend to him and I feel so guilty about that. I feel that I am not worthy of his loyal friendship.

I feel like just getting high right now then take a bunch of aspirin to thin my blood getting into a warm bath and slitting my wrists and killing myself. I know this is not the answer but this is the way I feel. I need real help but I can't afford it.
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Old May 13th, 2009, 05:08 PM   #2
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with spending your time online. If it makes you feel comfortable and sane, do it. There's no reason to go out into the real world if it depresses you. I'm on the computer on average of 6hours per day. I know for a fact that cutting is NOT the way to solve things. I've been through alot of problems, and i'm one online buddy that takes my friends problems into perspective and I listen to them and try to help as much as I can. PM me if you EVER need to talk to someone.
Weed ruins you, I suggest you don't do that. It kills your brain cells and can become so addicting that it's all you want to do. Talk to me, vent, and rest. Try to relax, stay away from drugs/pills (I used to overdose, it can cause major problems for your body :/)

PM me. I'm always here. And i'm one that won't give up on you.

☾I hold the stars between my lips.☆
When I speak, make a wish.

add,msg,talk.
I'm here to help(:
-ErykaInspire.
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Old May 13th, 2009, 06:06 PM   #3
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Rob...bud...I'm glad you tried to become less dependent on the internet, but I'm really sorry it didn't work out (I'm sorry because I strongly suggested it). Please try to stop drinking and doing drugs because they are not going to help your struggling at all. I know you don't really want to kill yourself, you just feel it's the only way out. It's not. You can get help and I know things will get better for you.
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Old May 13th, 2009, 08:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Micki View Post
There's absolutely nothing wrong with spending your time online. If it makes you feel comfortable and sane, do it. There's no reason to go out into the real world if it depresses you. I'm on the computer on average of 6hours per day. I know for a fact that cutting is NOT the way to solve things. I've been through alot of problems, and i'm one online buddy that takes my friends problems into perspective and I listen to them and try to help as much as I can. PM me if you EVER need to talk to someone.
Weed ruins you, I suggest you don't do that. It kills your brain cells and can become so addicting that it's all you want to do. Talk to me, vent, and rest. Try to relax, stay away from drugs/pills (I used to overdose, it can cause major problems for your body :/)

PM me. I'm always here. And i'm one that won't give up on you.
I am not talking abut cutting that is for people who are doing this for attention. I am not seeking attention here. If i decide to end this i will cut deep and from my wrists to my elbow.

Yes Jared I have tried to get off of the computer and now because of it I am all alone.

My life just keeps getting worse what is the point in living.
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Old May 13th, 2009, 08:31 PM   #5
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Cutters don't do it for attention.. everyone copes with their emotions differently...

☾I hold the stars between my lips.☆
When I speak, make a wish.

add,msg,talk.
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Old May 13th, 2009, 09:59 PM   #6
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Please don't do it.
I have been suicidal since I was 11 and 6 months ago I took a whole bottle of Xanax and ended up in the hospital for 3 days unconscious. I hurt my parents VERY badly be doing this... So please don't! You will hurt the people that care for you.
If you ever need someone to talk to online/on the phone you can talk to me.
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Old May 13th, 2009, 11:28 PM   #7
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Rob, it's time to tell your folks and get to a therapist. No one should contemplate suicide, and no one should feel so bad as you do. Whatever it is that's causing all this can be addressed. But, you have to get to someone and start the process.

FWIW, I've always been impressed with your insight and awareness, and I'm sure those abilites are available to help yourself, too, not just with others. Use them, recognize that the friends you've made online indicate that you have the personality attributes and personal ability to connect with people real time, too. But for whatever reason, there's something getting in the way of that. And when that blockage is removed, you'll have the ability to make and keep really good friends. You just need to do some work before then.

Tell your folks, get some help. What you're feeling is temporary and treatable.
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Old May 14th, 2009, 03:18 AM   #8
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Rob, you are not alone. I think you've read my paper on online life vs. real life. If you haven't, you should. You need to have a balance. Now I'm not saying just completely shut off all your online connections in an attempt to get friends in real life, but I am saying that real life should take precedence over online life. You need to find a good balance in your life, Rob. A set amount of time online, time for sleep, time for work, time for important things like errands and shit, and then time for your real life at home or with other real people. I'm still going to stand by my saying that you need to lose your dependence on online friendships. Online friendships are great, but they are no comparison to real life ones.
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Old May 14th, 2009, 02:05 PM   #9
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Yeah Jared I am alone. You for one should know that if you ever paid attention to me when we used to be close and talk.

I am past my feelings of being suicidal but I am so tired of being alone and with out real friends.I am also tired of people who say they are your friend then when you really need them they turn their back on and also cause more of your friends to do that same.

Well Sam thanks for the advice here.

Micki, I may take you up on your offer to talk. You sound like a nice and genuine person.
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Old May 14th, 2009, 02:14 PM   #10
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Πρίαπος View Post
I am so tired of being alone and with out real friends.I am also tired of people who say they are your friend then when you really need them they turn their back on and also cause more of your friends to do that same.

Micki, I may take you up on your offer to talk. You sound like a nice and genuine person.
I may not be a "real" friend. But i'm as real as I can get for being online. I know how you feel when friends give up on you. It's helped me in a way, though. I've learned to stand on my own two feet and gotten experience in dealing with things by myself. People arn't ALWAYS going to be there when you need them to be, so try to turn this into an opportunity.

I'm just an average girl, nothing genuine about me. I just can't stand seeing people miserable or going through a tough time on their own.

All I can guarantee you is advice. I'm not going to be able to walk you through stepbystep but i'll help quide the way. I want you to put in effort.. you can't expect this to just come floating into your hands.
I know you can do it, that's the good thing(:

☾I hold the stars between my lips.☆
When I speak, make a wish.

add,msg,talk.
I'm here to help(:
-ErykaInspire.
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Old May 14th, 2009, 07:25 PM   #11
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

As you have already stated, killing yourself is not the answer. If staying online for a little bit calms you down and helps you relax or get help then so be it, but it is also unhealthy to be glued to your screen.

Your "one good friend" might be able to help you to. Try talking to him, and try to cut down on each of your habbits a little bit at a time.

While your at it, think of this, you said you haven't been a good friend lately, killing yourself will put your best friend through alot of pain, and I know you do not want to hurt him/her.
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Old May 14th, 2009, 08:50 PM   #12
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Even though at times we get frustrated with each other and have our arguments, there isn't a day where I have truly regretted becoming your friend. When I wake up each morning you're one of the few people I think about and wonder how they are doing. You are probably the main reason I check my cell phone for missed calls and texts on a regular basis in case you might need me. You are also the main reason why I got a text messaging plan so we can keep in touch when our lives are both busy and we can't be online at the same time to talk.

I never thought I'd do so much for someone I met online but you were and still are a special friend to me. I know times are hard for you and as always I'm here to help you cope by talking about it or playing a football game on xbox or talking about hot guys to get your mind off things. Although, I do hope you find the courage and motivation to turn your life around. I know its hard to find and sometimes it feels like there's no point in trying but you have nothing to lose by trying, only to gain. Step-by-step you can make it out of this.

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Old May 14th, 2009, 10:06 PM   #13
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

ok..I really just want to say something on here. This is just my opinion..but I think online relationships have lots of potential to become real relationships. You can have a friendship just as much online as you can in person. Sure you may not be able to see the person...and I understand that concept of what you mean by "real" friend...but I think that you can make good friends online that sometimes support you more than your "real" friends do. So Rob I think it is perfectly fine that you are online...but I agree that every life needs balance. I suck at it but I know that every life needs it. I would also like to add that you should still work at having "real" relationships...it takes a lot of effort sometimes...and it takes a little reaching out of your comfort zone at times...but it is totally worth it. I don't know if any of that helped..but I want you to know I am here....and I am open to talking too if you want to, because right now I think you do need some support...PM me anytime...

Heidi
"Recalling all your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy." -- 2 Timothy 1:4
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Old May 14th, 2009, 10:14 PM   #14
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maverick
Even though at times we get frustrated with each other and have our arguments, there isn't a day where I have truly regretted becoming your friend. When I wake up each morning you're one of the few people I think about and wonder how they are doing. You are probably the main reason I check my cell phone for missed calls and texts on a regular basis in case you might need me. You are also the main reason why I got a text messaging plan so we can keep in touch when our lives are both busy and we can't be online at the same time to talk.

I never thought I'd do so much for someone I met online but you were and still are a special friend to me. I know times are hard for you and as always I'm here to help you cope by talking about it or playing a football game on xbox or talking about hot guys to get your mind off things. Although, I do hope you find the courage and motivation to turn your life around. I know its hard to find and sometimes it feels like there's no point in trying but you have nothing to lose by trying, only to gain. Step-by-step you can make it out of this.
That is such a lovely post Anthony^^

I hope you can see how much you mean to people here Rob

As for your online friends not being there, of course they will be. That's one of the great things about this place and the people on here



xxx
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Old May 14th, 2009, 10:18 PM   #15
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.


You have great people watching out for you, and loving you.
And it's not by luck, it's because of you, inside.
Don't hurt yourself. You can be strong, I know it.

Maybe you should see a professional. It will be hard, but worth it. Just give it a try, it could work.

Hang in there
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Old July 3rd, 2009, 09:38 PM   #16
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Default Re: I feel like just ending it.

Hey, hun. Just checking in, how's everything going?
I hope well<3
Keep in touch, okay?
PM me whenever

☾I hold the stars between my lips.☆
When I speak, make a wish.

add,msg,talk.
I'm here to help(:
-ErykaInspire.
{ℒℴvℯℓυtιℴηαrч}
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