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Old January 31st, 2012, 10:14 AM   #1
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Alexithymia's Forum Picture
Name: Mark
Join Date: November 21, 2010
Location: Indiana
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Post Getting Help

Getting help can be hard and scary. It requires telling parents, being vocal with your feelings, and realizing that you can be better than you currently are someday, it'll just be hard. In this thread I hope to make it clearer how to talk with your parents about your feelings and how to find a good therapist. Of course, this is only for the average family. Each family will have its own quirks and differences, and you should always make sure you're safe.

I hope that this will help others to see what they should do. It was created with the intention of helping people get better. It was posted in the "Cutting and Self Harm" section because usually Self Harmers have the most difficulty getting help, but this applies to everyone, even for the simplest of problems. If you're a smoker, a cutter, depressed, or just not sure how to talk to your parents, this thread is for you. Again, I would like to reiterate that each family is different and you need to make sure you're safe.

Step One: Realizing You Have a Problem
This is usually the easiest, but also hardest, step. The simplest way to interpret this is if it meant actually just realizing that you have a problem. Of course, there is more to it. The way that I interpret it, and this has led to me getting help myself, is to not only realize you have a problem, but also try and realize that you need help for it. The most difficult part of this is being able to admit that you need help. It took me a year to admit it, and I'm very open-minded. Some people it takes ten years. But the sooner you can do this, the sooner you can be happier.

Step Two: Being Vocal About Your Feelings
This step usually isn't necessarily the second part of the process, but it is important. Being vocal about your feelings doesn't just mean talking about how you feel at that moment. It also means talking to your therapist, trying to find the causes of your feelings, and being able to accept the facts as they come to you. In addition to that, you also need to tell your therapist or parents everything. Not just what they should know, or what's hardest or easiest for you to admit. Have you disobeyed your parents for a while? Tell your parents. Are you cutter? Tell your therapist. Do you have a self-diagnosed ED? Please, tell your therapist.

These are all things that they want and need to know. If you tell them everything, then they'll be able to figure your personality out more and then be able to help you. I'm not saying it won't be hard, but it'll be worth it. Maybe writing a note will be easiest for you, or maybe just talking to your therapist will be what's most helpful. Whatever it is, do it.

Step Three: Finding a Good Therapist
Finding a good therapist is never easy. I was especially lucky, finding the therapist that I need with just one before, but one of my friends has gone through at least ten therapists. The one big thing I can say here is realize what you need from your therapist. If you can do that, then talking to your therapist can be really easy. Of course, you may not know what you need until you go through a few iterations of what you don't need, and even then, you may think you need something when that will only hurt more. The mind is a confusing place, so don't get too caught up in it. When looking for a therapist, make sure that they fit exactly what you need.

After That
The time after that will be easier, I promise you. Those are the biggest steps. If you can realize you have a problem and need help, be vocal about your problems, and figure out what type of therapist you need, it'll be so much easier. You'll still have to deal with everything in some amount of time, but at least you're on the path to getting help. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I follow those three things, and my parents are helping me through this. They don't even mind if I miss school so long as I tell them what's going on. They'd rather know what's up and be afraid than know nothing and be afraid.

Differences in Families
As I've said before in this post, each family is different. Because of that, you need to make sure that you're safe. If you think that you might be unsafe if you say something, don't say it! If you feel safe enough, tell your therapist. But if you don't know if you'll be hurt or not if you say something, it's best if you don't say it. That said, if you just fear that your parents might be angry if you talk to them, then you should talk to them anyway.

Thanks for reading my post. I hoped it helped. I'll probably add more as I think of it, but for now, that's it.

Success isn't the opposite of failure;
success is the path that everyone must take
- though it might be filled with hardships -
in order to achieve whatever it is they wish to accomplish.
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