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Old September 19th, 2013, 10:12 PM   #1721
EddietheZombie
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A traveler is walking along a trail when he sees its sundown and he doesnt have anywhere to sleep. He soon finds a house and knocks on the door. An old Asian man opens the door. The traveler tells the Asian man that he needs a place to sleep and asks if he could stay the night. The Asian man says he can, but he must leave his daughter alone or suffer the 3 Most Painful Asian Tortures. The man agrees and enters the house. As they are having dinner he sees the Asian mans daughter and she is a perfect 10 out of 10. He goes upstairs to his room where he lays awake all night and finally he goes and has a night of sex with the daughter. He wakes up in his room the next day with a 7 pound boulder on his chest with a note. The note says "Asian Torture Number One: Boulder on Chest". The man thinks nothing of it and throws the boulder out the second story window. As he watches the boulder fall he sees another note on the window that says "Asian Torture Number Two: Boulder Tied to Right Testicle". The man tries to think quickly and jumps out the window. On his way down he sees another note written on the side of house that says "Asian Torture Number Three: Left Testicle Tied to Bed Post".
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Old October 7th, 2013, 03:45 AM   #1722
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How Many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
They just beat the room for being black.
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Old October 13th, 2013, 10:55 AM   #1723
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What is greater than God and more evil than the Devil? The rich need it, the poor have it and if you eat it you will die.
Ans: Nothing
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Old December 1st, 2013, 06:40 PM   #1724
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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world:
Those who understand binary;
Those who don't;
And those who don't expect a joke in base 3.
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Old December 1st, 2013, 07:09 PM   #1725
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whats brown and sticky............................................a stick
BA CHING BA
GET IT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reserved View Post
How Many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
They just beat the room for being black.
soooooooooooooooo true.


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Old December 1st, 2013, 11:35 PM   #1726
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A man was on his way to a distant town. Along the path he encountered a naked man with a hardon.

The traveler asked what the man was doing. The man responded that he was checking the time. The man said it was 2:30. The traveler checked his watch and was surprised that the man was right.

The traveler proceeded on to the town. On his way back home, he encountered the same man masturbating. The traveler asked what he was doing now. The man responded, "I'm umm... Winding my watch"

17 year old, gay guy
I haven't been on for like a year, so just getting back into
Up for a chat anytime (English/franšais)
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Old December 10th, 2013, 01:38 PM   #1727
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I know this defies the laws of gravity but I never studied law.

Check out my blog by typing "grungeverse" into your search engine.(sorry had to delete the link because this site showed up on my blog and I'd rather keep thar private!)
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Old December 15th, 2013, 01:05 PM   #1728
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Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies.

Is that a trick question??

Hi i'm Jack, I'm 16 and I'm pretty sure I'm bi I love talking to people and I'm very open about pretty much everything and I will hapily share my experiences in life so far with you! I'm very self conscious in person though and this is something I'm working on!
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Old December 15th, 2013, 01:06 PM   #1729
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My butler is such a dick.

He keeps telling me to "move out" and to call him "Dad".

Hi i'm Jack, I'm 16 and I'm pretty sure I'm bi I love talking to people and I'm very open about pretty much everything and I will hapily share my experiences in life so far with you! I'm very self conscious in person though and this is something I'm working on!
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Old December 15th, 2013, 01:07 PM   #1730
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A Bentley just pulled up outside my house and a man in a sharp suit got out and came to the door.

I said "Have I won the Pools?"

"No" he replied "I'm just here to read your gas meter"

Hi i'm Jack, I'm 16 and I'm pretty sure I'm bi I love talking to people and I'm very open about pretty much everything and I will hapily share my experiences in life so far with you! I'm very self conscious in person though and this is something I'm working on!
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Old December 15th, 2013, 01:07 PM   #1731
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It's true when they say that certain types of music can take you to another place.

I was in the pub tonight and a James Arthur song was playing on the jukebox, so I went to another pub.

Hi i'm Jack, I'm 16 and I'm pretty sure I'm bi I love talking to people and I'm very open about pretty much everything and I will hapily share my experiences in life so far with you! I'm very self conscious in person though and this is something I'm working on!
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Old January 7th, 2014, 03:47 PM   #1732
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Johnny Deeper

There was this Kid and his name was Johnny Deeper and he got hurt and was takin to the hospital while there his family leaves and a nurse comes in. he orders the nurse to remove her clothing at first she hesitates but proceeds to remove her clothing and Johnny tells her to get on the floor he gets on top of her as his sister comes in she yells Johnny Deeper and Johnny yells Ok I'm going Deeper then his mother comes in and yells Johnny Deeper and he yells Ok Im goimg deeper then his dad comes in and yells Johnny deeper he yells I CAN'T GO NO DEEPER



Live Life to fullest cause tomorrow might be your last Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life
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Old January 7th, 2014, 04:11 PM   #1733
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There is a bus full of ugly people and it goes over a cliff and the all died and they all end up in heaven while in the line jesus meets them and offers them all one wish. the first person says make me beautiful and so Jesus does after hearing what they can request many more began making the same wish but Jesus starts to notice the man in the back who begins laughing Jesus wanders what he is laughing about and so more people begin making the wish to be Beautiful and Handsome near the middle the man in the back is dying from laughter And Jesus is thinking what the hell is this guys problem and so it finally gets the end and so Jesus asked him so funny guy whats your wish the man says Make them all ugly again



Live Life to fullest cause tomorrow might be your last Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life
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Old January 13th, 2014, 01:41 PM   #1734
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One night, an elderly lady named Winona went to sleep, but forgot to take out her false teeth. Later that night, she woke up. Sge realized the previously mentioned fact, and because her glass for them was out of reach, she just stuffed them under her pilllow.

When she woke up the next morning, she tried to get her teeth. But in their stead, there was a note and some Monopoly money. On the note stood,

"Nice fucking try, Winona.

- The Tooth Fairy"

Hi. I'm Daniel. PM or VM me. I got many social media links

I'm open to anything, be it questions or answers, or anything in between.

Why the name? Personal reasons. Ditto, motherfuckers.

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Old January 13th, 2014, 01:58 PM   #1735
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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a broken leg?
Hit by a car.
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Old January 14th, 2014, 06:50 PM   #1736
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....

Last edited by Typho; April 12th, 2016 at 10:25 AM.
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Old January 14th, 2014, 07:00 PM   #1737
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reserved View Post
How Many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
They just beat the room for being black.
I'm speechless.....
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Old January 26th, 2014, 10:23 AM   #1738
connorftw
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youre about as much use as a condom machine in the vatican
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Old February 5th, 2014, 10:15 PM   #1739
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Worlds Shortest Joke:

Two women were sitting quietly...



"ba-dum-tss"
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Old February 8th, 2014, 01:13 PM   #1740
Typhlosion
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What's the name of the box of forbidden jokes?

PUNdora's box!

Formerly at your service! ^^
Ex-GD Mod

Straight / Atheist / Metalhead / Right-wing / Aspie
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