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Old October 18th, 2006, 06:02 AM   #1
blah_blah
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Default First time

Hey guys/gals

Well lately I have had some trouble with girls and been pretty depressed and shit, well last night i took a razer blade (it was kinda blunt) from my dad's workshop and went to the shower and started trying to cut myself, it didnt peirce the skin but it made pretty deep marks and it made me nearly pass out for some weird reason (well not nearly pass out but head spin) when i done a deep cut to try and cut the skin, I told myself i wouldn't do it again cause I think it is kinda bad. But today i had a shit day at school and went into the shower and tried to cut myself with scissors it didn't work properly but a did bleed a little, why am i doing this ? I dont even know.

Anyone else like this?
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Old October 18th, 2006, 06:30 AM   #2
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For some reason i did not think of a knife it is kinda good though
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Old October 18th, 2006, 10:05 AM   #3
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You need to stop before it gets worse...Belive me...I started out where you are...After my first time I said I would never do it again.Now Im going on 2 years.Its just gonna get deeper and more frequently...Pretty soon your gonna do it just to do it...What made you think to take to the blade in the first place?((For me it was trying to understand why a friend did it...))
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Old October 19th, 2006, 07:56 AM   #4
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Well the reason i started is because this girl i liked HEAPS and i thought she liked me rejected me, i was also having a shit itme at school and everything is going wrong atm.

I done it again tonight, for some reason i only do it in the shower but otnghit i bled a couple times, only a little but realy i need to stop doing this i can see how its addictive.

Oh btw i have been rejected by girls before and not cared this much but for some reason i just got fed up
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Old October 19th, 2006, 08:14 AM   #5
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Default Re: First time

Just chill man... cutting its not good... really!!
Just remember that there's alot other girls other than the girls in your school, city, state, country........ there's GOT to be someone for ya!!
Just keep looking, and you'll be happy

btw, I've also gotten rejected, told I'm nasty, fatass, and ugly... just remember that love isn't about all that, and that she isn't worth it if she doesn't love you for who you are...

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.


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Old October 19th, 2006, 10:15 AM   #6
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Default Re: First time

Quote:
Originally Posted by blah_blah View Post
Well the reason i started is because this girl i liked HEAPS and i thought she liked me rejected me, i was also having a shit itme at school and everything is going wrong atm.

I done it again tonight, for some reason i only do it in the shower but otnghit i bled a couple times, only a little but realy i need to stop doing this i can see how its addictive.

Oh btw i have been rejected by girls before and not cared this much but for some reason i just got fed up
Hun...I've been rejected ALOT.You can't let that get to you.If they reject yout ehn they aint worth your time!I walk threw the halls of school getting called almost everything you can think of and I keep my head up.If I can stop this shit then I know you can.You should take ALL the sharps out of the bathroom an hour or so before you even take a shower.That way if you want to do it you have nothing to do it with.By the way...I started in the shower to
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Old October 20th, 2006, 05:23 AM   #7
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Well to be honest i get called every name under the sun at school to, only have two frie nds who get picked on for being my frineds so yeah.

That dont really b other me its just girls, and it is hard to meet girls cause i go to a boys school :S

Last night i done it pretty bad with a blunt pair of scissor i drew like X's on my self and it bled much more then last time, I do not think ill do it otnghit though I want to stop my self i seriously do not know wtf is up with this. Last night i jsut went mad and started slashing and would breathe out hard while pusing hard to make the pain and stuff go away I dunno this is weird.
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Old October 20th, 2006, 05:25 AM   #8
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Oh BTW it has been stinging all day and i cannot sleep on my left arm, the girl i like accidently discovered all the marks on my arm today and she said ewww, she was like why did you do that, but i didnt tell her.
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Old October 20th, 2006, 05:26 AM   #9
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Oh BTW it has been stinging all day and i cannot sleep on my left arm, the girl i like accidently discovered all the marks on my arm today and she said ewww, she was like why did you do that, but i didnt tell her.

Why do you think i started in the shower, I dunno why, why did you start there?

Oh and the scissors ant really blunt but they are not really sharp.

Now it jsut sounds like im rambling :S
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Old October 21st, 2006, 08:57 AM   #10
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Well i didn't do it today, and there is only 5 minutes left to the end of the day.

I have had lots of urges to but have stopped my self and I did not have a shower because i knew I would have done it again. I do not want to become totally addicted and get worse like some of you guys have gotten, and apparently thats how you start off like me? If i did not read forums i would have kept going I think, now not to do it again LOL
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Old October 21st, 2006, 05:39 PM   #11
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When I take a shower I think about everything thats been bothering me.Then Razor happend to be right there when I was thinking about my friend so I guess thats why I started there.Then after that it was so private and you know there no way your gonna get caught.

You can cut with anything if you have the mind to.I cut with a toothpaste bottle once .

People seeing your cuts and scares is somthing you have to live with if your a cutter.Thats one reason why you shouldn't do it.If you can't put up with peoples stares and comments and the rumors it will only make you do it more.I wouldn't trade my scares in for the world but I still keep them hidden from everybody.

It always stings worse after you do it.When you cut you get into a frame of mind and you don't really pay attention to the pain.The only advice I can give you is not to touch it the salt on your hands will make it hurt WAY worse.The pain should stop in a day or two.BUT after that its gonna start to heal and itch.DON'T SCRATCH IT.The scars will get worse that way.

As for you not being able to stop once you started...Im the same way.I just keep dragging the blade across my arm till theres nothing left in me anymore.Thats when you know you have a BIG problem.You need to stop...Don't get dependant on it...It changes everybodys opinion of you...I can't even look my family in the eyes anymore.They all know and they all judge me.In fact im not allod to hang out with my cousin anymore cause im a "bad innfluance".People think that cutters get together and have cutting partys or summin...Idk...But the truth is a cutter doenst want anyone else to do it.There are those few that don't give a shit and will sit there while a friend cuts.But those are the people that need to get the shit beat out of them.
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Old October 22nd, 2006, 12:39 AM   #12
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Thanks for your help

I just cannot beleive how addictive it is within a week
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Old October 22nd, 2006, 10:10 AM   #13
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Default Re: First time

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Originally Posted by ~Cookie~ View Post
There are those few that don't give a shit and will sit there while a friend cuts.But those are the people that need to get the shit beat out of them.
True. But, then again, what can you do? You can't physically stop someone hurting themselves.


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Old October 22nd, 2006, 10:46 AM   #14
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Default Re: First time

ive done it sorta infront of ppl, it was behind my back or under the desk, they just didnt see, or didnt care, either way, it doesnt matter, it was my choice, so why should they stop me, oh i dunno, just i think mayb its our responcibility to stop not theres to help us, only those who care will help, and in the big bad world, there are few of those kinda ppl

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Old October 22nd, 2006, 11:09 AM   #15
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just i think mayb its our responcibility to stop not theres to help us
True. Someone can only put something right or stop something bad if they want to. You could have the best support group ever, but if you don't want to stop then their efforts to help will be in vain.


~ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ~

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Old October 22nd, 2006, 11:13 AM   #16
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exactly, thats what i was trying to say thanks hun , how are you doin? xoxo

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Old October 23rd, 2006, 05:07 AM   #17
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Default Re: First time

Hey guys.

Well i stopped for a day but then I started again I dunno the urge was jsut too much and i was depressed again. But this time i done it much worse then I have been, I used a kitchen knife and i made 3 cuts which iw ould consider deep )Bleeding for about 3 minutes) but you guys probably would not consider deep.

What do you guys consider deep ect, like when you put it on the SI calander?
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Old October 23rd, 2006, 09:54 AM   #18
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It depends on how much it bleeds.Some shallow cuts keep bleeding barley for awile.While some deeper cuts bleed alot in a shorter amount of time.

As for sittening there while someone is cutting...its messed up.Being a cutter myself I know that no one can make you stop.BUT its messed up that you would sit there while someone is doing that to themselves.Theres times when all I need is for someone to stop me and to be thre with me when im feeling that way.
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Old November 1st, 2006, 04:36 AM   #19
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Thanks pplz

I have not cut in 8 days and i no longer have the urge to, but the scars are still there :S Oh well, at least i have stopped
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Old November 3rd, 2006, 12:09 PM   #20
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Theres a chance the scars will stay there for ALONG time.But I don't know everyones body heals diffrently.And Im proud of you! *huggles* Keep going!
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