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Old June 5th, 2007, 04:44 PM   #1
EmpatheticApathy
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Join Date: June 1, 2007
Location: USA
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Default They Say I'm Crazy...

Now... it seems I have a lot of problems. My peers at school always find something wrong with the way I act and it is always painful to be myself. So I wonder am I unique because I am crazy or are these people envious of me?

Let's start with my jokes. I have found that by putting my thoughts into jokes people are less likely to make fun of my opinion. The less funny the joke; the normal it is. The funnier the joke; the more out of the ordinary it is. Which it seems that joking about myself gets me the most laughter.
I know a lot of things about the world, how there are deaths everyday, people who are worse off than me and whatever and it pisses me off at people who go about life wanting to ignore this. I talk about blood and death all the time and people always get freaked out. Inappropriate? Maybe. But I hear of it every day and these people need to stop being blind to it.

Another thing is my self-consciousness. I always know what I’m doing. I know when I am obsessing over things. I know when something is really bothering me. I can find the root of nagging problems with careful thought. Sometimes I know why I shy away from people. Sometimes it’s the fear of rejection. Sometimes it’s because I think they are below me. This can’t be normal.

And my thought processes are always mentally masochistic. I have a desire to go through a lot of trouble so that when the next hardship arrives, I can sail right through it without too much pain. I’ve even taken liking to the idea of hurting my physical body to train myself, but I shy away because of the fear of accidental death.

Now to try to clarify my question, I am wondering if all these are simply habits of thinking or actual mental illnesses or disorders. Are my peers right that I am crazy? Or am I just different?

~Caring until I couldn't care any more
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Old June 5th, 2007, 04:51 PM   #2
MoveAlong
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Join Date: April 6, 2006
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Default Re: They Say I'm Crazy...

No, actually, I can say that you're quite a unique person
All of that just sounds like a personality. Sure, you may but just a little bit down, but hey we're all like that in our teen years.

I don't see anything wrong with you, although that second-to-last paragraph is out of my reach. Though I still don't think you have any mental illness.
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Old June 5th, 2007, 10:18 PM   #3
Maverick
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Default Re: They Say I'm Crazy...

It sounds like you have social anxiety disorder. I am not an expert but that's the first thing that comes to mind. You really just have to start becoming more comfortable with yourself and be the real you. It sounds like you were criticized in the past for how you are and you're afraid to be the real you. You just need to ignore those who criticize you and try to hang out with nicer people. If you have friends they can be your support. People can be really mean and maybe it will help you feel better talking to a counselor.
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Old June 5th, 2007, 10:21 PM   #4
EmpatheticApathy
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Default Re: They Say I'm Crazy...

Thanks for the help. It just gets really painful to feel so different. I feel alone a lot of the time. That's why I've been looking for teen forums where I can try to find some people to talk to so no more wierd ideas come back in my head.

-edit-
I know what the real me is and I like it, it's just that other people don't like it.
I was criticised for being supposedly gay in elementary school and I know feel I can't really open up to people because they're gonna pick something out and use it to tarnish me.
And I see nicer people out there, I just feel its better to stay.. far away just in case my assumptions of them are wrong and they do try to judge me.
I have a mentor, but I still don't feel comfortable talking openly to her.

~Caring until I couldn't care any more

Last edited by EmpatheticApathy; June 5th, 2007 at 10:25 PM. Reason: Quick Posting
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