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Old October 13th, 2018, 05:38 AM   #1
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Join Date: July 14, 2018
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Question thought he was flirting but i think i fucked up

so, there's this boy. we get on fine. only i like him. a few weeks ago he asked me to help out with some music homework. i came up to his classroom at lunch, only he said,. "let's go to the library." our school's library i a very secluded, quiet room that nobody ever goes into.
so we went down to the library. i explained the music homework. we sat together, and kind of in a way where we were sideways, but facing other.
then things started getting... unusual.

first off, we got up and started talking, and looking at the books on the shelves (remember this is a library). i realized something was a bit odd, and so i took a few steps way from him. he followed me. then i pretty much paced around the room, and he followed me the whole way. admittedly, we were still talking, so there's that.

then, we sat at the window and just talked for a bit. eventually he found some random ring on the floor, and tried it on. then he went "it's stuck." i laughed, and went over to help him get it off. but the thing is, it wasn't. so was that just for hand contact?

then we started waving to people out the window - well, he did; i hid in the corner laughing. a teacher passed by, and so he joined me in the corner for a minute until she was gone. he kind of... leaned against me a little. then when he got up, he used my shoulder to pull himself up - but his hand lingered for just a fraction of a second.

then the teacher saw him, and we realized she was going to come in and check on us, so we rushed back to the table, giggling and pretended to be studying. the teacher was pretty suspicious - she pretended to be getting book, and lingered in the room for several long minutes. we laughed silently as she pretended to browse the shelves with her back turned to us. then when she left, we laughed for a solid minute, and then he said he had to go (there were about ten minutes of lunch left at this point). i told him to wait for me, and so we left.

after we'd gone back to our separate classrooms, i was pretty confused. i'd gotten the impression that he was flirting a little.

so the next day, there was a disco. he was there. and stupidly, i found him, tapped his shoulder, yelled into his ear (the music was loud) "you have really beautiful eyes." he looked surprised, but not angry or anything. but he didn't say anything - we both turned and walked away.

later that night i saw him kissing some girl i don't know. i'd seen him with her earlier, but they had just been holding hands, and stupidly, i thought he wasn't really into her - he looked quite bored. but then he was kissing her. i didn't see or talk to him for the rest of the night. the next day at school was really awkward - he completely avoided me; wouldn't even look me in the eye. but i saw out of the corner of the eye he was... assessing me? he looked at me several times when he thought i wasn't watching. my friend backed me up on this.

a couple days later, we were pretty much back to normal - he asked me to teach him a violin harmony, and so we were both in school early and practicing. before that happened though, we were in church practicing for the school mass, and he asked me to teach him. i quickly said "look, last night - just... i didn't say anything, okay?" he sort of quickly agreed, and no more has been mentioned of that night since.

now, i'm going to be helping him with some quartet pieces for our end-of-year exams - we both have the same violin teacher, who asked me to help the boy. i'm not sure if i'll be playing in this quartet too, or whether this is just to help him, but either way, this means i'll be seeing more of him. i don't know if this means inside or outside of school, though...

my problem is this - i have no idea where i stand. looking back to the library incident, i think i may have read a little too much into it - he gets on a lot better with girls than boys, and is generally always a little flirty.

but what do you all think? i've never really heard of him looking for excuses to get girls' hands in his. should i try to stay just-friends with him, or ask him out sometime? (bearing in mind the girl he was kissing - i don't know how serious they are)
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Old October 13th, 2018, 02:12 PM   #2
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Join Date: April 1, 2015
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Default Re: thought he was flirting but i think i fucked up

I think staying as friends in this scenario is best and drop a counterline of dialogue if something you deem too flirtatious happens again like; “ya know if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were flirting with me; I saw you with another girl and I don’t intend to be a side chick”.

Like witty one-liners work to both be humorous but also to voice concerns and express interest at the same time in a defensive and fun way. The body language builds up the tension, and sometimes dialogue like I gave an example of diffuses confusion-tension, and kissing and sexual things release physical-lust tension. Everything is a constant ebb-n-flow of energy, that also doesn’t change as a rule in any other context of life, but the structure would be different.
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