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Old October 18th, 2017, 06:18 PM   #1
auser_name
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I dont mean any offence, but I hoped beyond hope that I would never have to come here again. Ever. Yet I find myself alone, scared, self-loathing and I don't have anyone else I can turn to.

Some of you may have read my post about my boyfriend who has leukaemia. He's first round of chemo therapy didn't work. I got this information about a fortnight ago. Now he's going into hospital tomorrow so he can have a blood transfusion. This is why I'm scared. I don't know what this means for him. I'm scared he's going to die.

I'm self-loathing because I know I should be strong for him. Focus on his needs, his fears and I've tried but I'm just stuck in this place and I don't know who I can turn to.
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Old October 21st, 2017, 02:19 PM   #2
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@auser_name

You've always got us to turn to. Spend as much time with him now as you can. Just remember all the good times you've had with him and the love you've shared for one another as well as all the memories and time you can spend together right now. Ultimately, that matters much more than any threat of death. Do everything you can to alleviate his suffering. That's the right thing because no one wants to suffer and you know what it's like to suffer. So, be there for him and show him love and care.
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Old October 21st, 2017, 03:28 PM   #3
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Go see him every day. And every day bring something for him. Maybe its his favorite ice cream, maybe its some pictures of something you guys did or went to together, watch a great movie together. Or just sit as he sleeps and hold his hand as you also sleep. Youll need rest also bro.

You need to be there for him. As hard as it is for you,its 1000 times harder for him. And he needs YOU right now. Sorry to sound so harsh, but its true.

Prey for him, talk to someone (not him) about how you are feeling, but be there for him always. He deserves that right?

Good luck bro, were all here for you, stay strong, keep us up to date on how hes doing ok?

We do care for you AND him


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Old November 5th, 2017, 01:10 PM   #4
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I want to spend all my time with him. but today he told me that he doesnt want to talk to me for a few days. I have no idea what ive done or what I can do. he said he hasn't left me but he hasn't told me what I did wrong
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Old November 5th, 2017, 01:22 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by auser_name View Post
I want to spend all my time with him. but today he told me that he doesnt want to talk to me for a few days. I have no idea what ive done or what I can do. he said he hasn't left me but he hasn't told me what I did wrong
It might not be something you have inherently done; mostly likely it could be concerned with the stress he's facing right now and he's not sure how to feel about a lot of things. With such an illness his life is changing dramatically, and he might not know how to process such a change coming along. He might need a little time on his own to mull over things and fully come to grips with it.

I send my support.

nebula ~ help and advice moderator
feel free to PM me if you have any queries

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*Mars was here*
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Old November 5th, 2017, 07:37 PM   #6
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Sometimes people just need space. Maybe he just needs more space than your ok with giving him without you feeling like you do


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Old November 10th, 2017, 08:31 PM   #7
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UPDATE: we're doing okay now but hes acting weird. well not weird but like he knows something that I dont. I think the doctors told him hes dying but I dont know. and if thats true I dont want to. does that make me a terrible person? a terrible boyfriend? I dont know what to do anymore.


EDIT: It's confirmed, its terminal. I dont know... anything. I feel lost. but I know what hes feeling is a million times worse. what are we going to do?

Last edited by auser_name; November 10th, 2017 at 10:46 PM.
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Old November 13th, 2017, 07:04 PM   #8
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Well I hope the treatment goes well and he goes into remission. You do need to stay strong for him and be there. As far as acting weird you have to realize what he is going through and how it is putting stress on his life. I pray all goes well with him and your relationship.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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Old November 15th, 2017, 03:35 PM   #9
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UPDATE: God I just got the best phone call from my boyfriend. He phoned me up and said he went to the hospital today for some test results. His healthy blood cells have increased and he's going in for more blood transfusions. This means he's getting healthier. He is getting better. I have never ever been happier than I have now.
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Old November 16th, 2017, 03:49 AM   #10
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UPDATE: God I just got the best phone call from my boyfriend. He phoned me up and said he went to the hospital today for some test results. His healthy blood cells have increased and he's going in for more blood transfusions. This means he's getting healthier. He is getting better. I have never ever been happier than I have now.
Thought you said it was terminal...is this becoming one of those miraculous stories of sudden unexplained rapid healings? Those happen apparently, and it really does look like evidence for God sometimes.

If this is true I'm happy for you and him.
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Old November 24th, 2017, 01:56 PM   #11
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sorry for him
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