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Old September 29th, 2017, 09:36 PM   #1
Ineedyou
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Default Falling in Love with a Best Friend

I'm 18 and bi, 2 years ago I met a boy and we connected instantly. We grew very close very fast, and we've both opened up to each other about a lot of things we trust no one else with. It's only been two years but I feel like i've known him my 10 years. Our mutual friends call us butt buddies and all the stuff and it's been great, but recently (a couple of months) i've gained a crush on him. I've tried so hard to keep him strictly as a friend, but I just can't. I can't control my emotions and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Sidenote, I've told him I'm bi. It's also killing me now because he's getting girlfriends and I just get really jealous. I know i probably should just let him go, but I can't when I literally talk to him everyday. He's got me through so much. I don't know what to do.
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Old September 29th, 2017, 10:38 PM   #2
Just JT
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

That's a hard place to be bro. And it's also a good place to be. Most guys don't end up with a best like that. Gay straight or bi.

The hardest thing is getting past that. If he's really that great of a friend, if you really love him that much, you'll see he's not into you in that way (maybe) and just learn to be happy for him. That's what it's all about right?

You do want the best for him and for him to be happy right?

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Old September 30th, 2017, 09:42 PM   #3
Ineedyou
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

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Originally Posted by Just JT View Post
That's a hard place to be bro. And it's also a good place to be. Most guys don't end up with a best like that. Gay straight or bi.

The hardest thing is getting past that. If he's really that great of a friend, if you really love him that much, you'll see he's not into you in that way (maybe) and just learn to be happy for him. That's what it's all about right?

You do want the best for him and for him to be happy right?
I for sure want him to be happy, but it's just torture being so close to someone, but never being able to be anything more.
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Old September 30th, 2017, 09:56 PM   #4
mick01
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Ah, brother, I've been there. Let him be who he is. A straight boy who likes girls. Slowly, let go of the fantasy that you and him will be something. And before you know it, like me, you'll ask yourself wtf, why was I into him? He's not all that.
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Old October 2nd, 2017, 02:58 PM   #5
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

I've been there. It's up to you if you want to tell him how you feel or not. I would personally advise against doing so though.
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Old October 5th, 2017, 07:36 PM   #6
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Sadly enough you need to let him go. He is straight and only wants to date and be sexually involved with girls. I know it's tough man but you have to let those feelings go for your friendship. You are going to find too that when he finds a girlfriend and is in a relationship that he will spend more time with her than he does with you. That is natural so prepare yourself for that also. I was so lucky my best friend of 16 years is now my boyfriend. It doesn't work out that way for many. I hope you will be strong and get through this.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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Old October 11th, 2017, 12:15 AM   #7
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

I usually tell people that are friends with people they have feelings for to take a huge step back until these feelings are for a different person. I don't think that you should do that because your such good friends. I wish I had a friend that close.

My best advice is to try to date other people and hopefully get feelings for someone else and move on. Keep this friend though. But only as a friend.


Canada / Sport Management (Hockey) Major / Straight / Left-Wing Progressive / 18 yrs old

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Old October 16th, 2017, 06:47 AM   #8
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Tough situation bro
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Old October 16th, 2017, 08:20 AM   #9
Nnoki
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

I think at least 90% of bi/gay people have been there, I was and "moved on", then i met this guy that changed my world (he is my best friend), and he still doesn't know i'm bi, it is torture, i know it, but you just have to live with that and try to move on

"...I would like to tell you what i felt for you
Why sometimes i ran away
And sometimes i wasn't there
But i don't wanna lose you
Because I appreciate you
As a friend
As we always were."
-"The Duckling" which never became swan, Celopan- (In Spanish)
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Old October 16th, 2017, 09:27 AM   #10
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by EthanK View Post
Tough situation bro
Indeed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nnoki View Post
I think at least 90% of bi/gay people have been there, I was and "moved on", then i met this guy that changed my world (he is my best friend), and he still doesn't know i'm bi, it is torture, i know it, but you just have to live with that and try to move on
Yup. Been there myself.
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Old December 9th, 2017, 12:58 PM   #11
SeansLittleBro
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ineedyou View Post
I've tried so hard to keep him strictly as a friend, but I just can't. I can't control my emotions and I don't want to ruin our friendship.

I know i probably should just let him go,....
No you can't control your emotions, but unfortunately from what you have told us it is probably best to let him go as a CRUSH....You and he are best friends and that is something not everyone can say about a person that they feel so attached to...Keep that friendship it is SO important...And yes, let him go as a romantic interest but don't let him go as a friend....support him as I hope he would support you in your emotional/sexual life.....

I am a twin, 18 -- gay and proud. Would love to talk to all you guys in here. Very open to discuss things and like to talk to new friends.
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Old December 9th, 2017, 01:08 PM   #12
Just JT
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ineedyou View Post
I for sure want him to be happy, but it's just torture being so close to someone, but never being able to be anything more.
Hes got a gf right? So they im sure want some time alone. Let them have that and distance yourself from them a bit. Not like your not gonna be friends but just not Olson in his every day life as much. In time itll pass. I think this is a crush which always do pass. If it was true love for him, youd be happy that hes happy.

Dont write this off, did he ever tell you his sexual orientation like you told him?
You might still develop into something down the road. May not be what you want out of it, and may not happen at all....

Just saying is all

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Old December 17th, 2017, 09:26 PM   #13
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

A very hard place to be but I guess you have to let him be and just distract yourself from him.
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Old December 17th, 2017, 10:54 PM   #14
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Eventually youll rnd up finding someone you like even better

Just a person who loves to play and watch sports.

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Old January 17th, 2018, 12:10 AM   #15
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Default Re: Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Holy crap I swear I'm in the same exact situation and I feel the same thing completely!

17 and Bi. Hopefully i answered your question! I love helping everyone with their questions and problems so feel free to message me if you need to talk!
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