Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old April 4th, 2010, 02:35 PM   #1261
kenoloor
hookworm
 
kenoloor's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: November 12, 2008
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcie View Post
Hehe
HINT: think about the different meanings of the word "shoot."
Oh, nice. I get it now.

Parables and Parasites
kenoloor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 8th, 2010, 02:20 PM   #1262
Marcie
Awesome Poster
 
Marcie's Forum Picture
 
Name: Benjamin
Join Date: February 3, 2010
Location: United States East Coast
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Once View Post
Oh, nice. I get it now.
Congratulations (You should PM me what you think the answer is)

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

A friend is one who knows you, but loves you anyway.
Marcie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 8th, 2010, 02:37 PM   #1263
magikarpy
Banned
 
Name: Karp
Join Date: April 8, 2010
Location: Boring ol' texas.
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A blonde is down on her luck so she gets in her head that she should kidnap a young child and hold him ransom. She goes to the playground and finds the perfect child to kidnap. She takes him to her car tells the child that she is kidnapping him and sends him back with a note saying:

I have kidnapped your child if you ever want to see him again leave 10,000 dollars under the slide.
Signed, a blonde.


When she comes back the next day sure enough there is a bag with 10,000 dollars sitting there with a note attatched saying:

How could you do this to a fellow blonde?

I love blonde jokes. I would think I would be offended considering I am a blonde female but I find them so amazingly funny. You just have to learn to laugh at yourself to get along in life.
magikarpy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 8th, 2010, 07:19 PM   #1264
Marcie
Awesome Poster
 
Marcie's Forum Picture
 
Name: Benjamin
Join Date: February 3, 2010
Location: United States East Coast
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by magikarpy View Post
A blonde is down on her luck so she gets in her head that she should kidnap a young child and hold him ransom. She goes to the playground and finds the perfect child to kidnap. She takes him to her car tells the child that she is kidnapping him and sends him back with a note saying:

I have kidnapped your child if you ever want to see him again leave 10,000 dollars under the slide.
Signed, a blonde.


When she comes back the next day sure enough there is a bag with 10,000 dollars sitting there with a note attatched saying:

How could you do this to a fellow blonde?

I love blonde jokes. I would think I would be offended considering I am a blonde female but I find them so amazingly funny. You just have to learn to laugh at yourself to get along in life.
Hehe that's funny there are SOOO many blond jokes out there.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

A friend is one who knows you, but loves you anyway.
Marcie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 8th, 2010, 10:17 PM   #1265
magikarpy
Banned
 
Name: Karp
Join Date: April 8, 2010
Location: Boring ol' texas.
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

I was hoping that I was telling one that EVERYONE hadn't already heard.
magikarpy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 10th, 2010, 03:50 PM   #1266
Marcie
Awesome Poster
 
Marcie's Forum Picture
 
Name: Benjamin
Join Date: February 3, 2010
Location: United States East Coast
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by magikarpy View Post
I was hoping that I was telling one that EVERYONE hadn't already heard.
Aww well I've heard so many blond jokes it isn't even funny

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

A friend is one who knows you, but loves you anyway.
Marcie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 19th, 2010, 12:11 PM   #1267
Death
Awesome Poster
 
Death's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 2, 2009
Location: Britain
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

I'm not sure if this has been said before, but I'll say it anyway.

A tortoise is mugged by a group of snails so afterwards, he goes to the police station. He tells the police officer (who was a turtle) about it and the turtle says, "Are you able to describe your attackers?" to which the tortoise replies, "No, it all happened so quickly!".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey View Post
Perhaps the entire argument [the death penalty] can be summarised in just a sentence.

We kill people who kill people to show others that killing is wrong.
Death is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 21st, 2010, 07:43 AM   #1268
Zero Beat
Banned
 
Name: Jack
Join Date: March 21, 2009
Location: In a land down under.
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 9
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Death View Post
I'm not sure if this has been said before, but I'll say it anyway.

A tortoise is mugged by a group of snails so afterwards, he goes to the police station. He tells the police officer (who was a turtle) about it and the turtle says, "Are you able to describe your attackers?" to which the tortoise replies, "No, it all happened so quickly!".
That brought a smile to me face. Thank you
Zero Beat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 21st, 2010, 03:26 PM   #1269
Death
Awesome Poster
 
Death's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 2, 2009
Location: Britain
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

^^Glad you liked it.

Do protons really have mass? I didn't even know they're Catholic!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey View Post
Perhaps the entire argument [the death penalty] can be summarised in just a sentence.

We kill people who kill people to show others that killing is wrong.
Death is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 23rd, 2010, 11:17 PM   #1270
benjabubble
Member
 
Join Date: July 1, 2009
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

I don't think these need much of an explanation, they are simply brilliance in its finest form.

-Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
-My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.
-Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.
-Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.
-George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.
-Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
-Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah(*crossed out*), diahoah(*crossed out*), dyah(*crossed out*) the shits.
-Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
-Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

This one, however, takes the cake in my opinion

-Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.
benjabubble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 24th, 2010, 02:19 AM   #1271
Death
Awesome Poster
 
Death's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 2, 2009
Location: Britain
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the barman 'How much for a drink?" to which the barman replies "You have no charge.".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey View Post
Perhaps the entire argument [the death penalty] can be summarised in just a sentence.

We kill people who kill people to show others that killing is wrong.
Death is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 24th, 2010, 03:59 PM   #1272
Marcie
Awesome Poster
 
Marcie's Forum Picture
 
Name: Benjamin
Join Date: February 3, 2010
Location: United States East Coast
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Death View Post
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the barman 'How much for a drink?" to which the barman replies "You have no charge.".
Tehe nerd joke I love it! haha

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

A friend is one who knows you, but loves you anyway.
Marcie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 25th, 2010, 03:57 AM   #1273
Death
Awesome Poster
 
Death's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 2, 2009
Location: Britain
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

^^Again, glad you like it.

I have a face, but I have no eyes, nose or mouth. I can also never see my hands, which have no fingers. You have all looked at me many times. Whenever you do so, you learn something, and yet you do it over and over again. What am I? If you would like to guess the answer or would like to know it, feel free to PM me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey View Post
Perhaps the entire argument [the death penalty] can be summarised in just a sentence.

We kill people who kill people to show others that killing is wrong.
Death is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 25th, 2010, 12:25 PM   #1274
Marcie
Awesome Poster
 
Marcie's Forum Picture
 
Name: Benjamin
Join Date: February 3, 2010
Location: United States East Coast
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Death View Post
^^Again, glad you like it.

I have a face, but I have no eyes, nose or mouth. I can also never see my hands, which have no fingers. You have all looked at me many times. Whenever you do so, you learn something, and yet you do it over and over again. What am I? If you would like to guess the answer or would like to know it, feel free to PM me.
I think I know what it is! I just sent you a PM.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

A friend is one who knows you, but loves you anyway.
Marcie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 25th, 2010, 12:56 PM   #1275
Death
Awesome Poster
 
Death's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 2, 2009
Location: Britain
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Nice, now for a joke:

There are two flies sitting on a bench. The first fly says to the second, "Look at your trousers.". When the second fly asks why, he says, "Your humans are undone.".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey View Post
Perhaps the entire argument [the death penalty] can be summarised in just a sentence.

We kill people who kill people to show others that killing is wrong.
Death is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 25th, 2010, 01:09 PM   #1276
Marcie
Awesome Poster
 
Marcie's Forum Picture
 
Name: Benjamin
Join Date: February 3, 2010
Location: United States East Coast
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Death View Post
Nice, now for a joke:

There are two flies sitting on a bench. The first fly says to the second, "Look at your trousers.". When the second fly asks why, he says, "Your humans are undone.".
HAhah wow.. nice


Here's a riddle:
Four men have to cross a bridge at night, therefore you need a flashlight to cross. The bridge can only support two people at a time so only two people can cross the bridge at a time. But one person has to bring the flashlight back.
These men have to get to the other side in 17 minutes.
Each man takes a different amount of time to cross. One man takes 10 minutes to cross, another takes 5 minutes to cross, another takes 2 minutes to cross, and the last takes 1 minute to cross. You have to travel at the speed of the slowest person.

ie. If the 10min and the 1min guys go across together then that takes 10 minutes.
(Then one of them has to bring back the flashlight.)
So the 1min guy comes back. so far you're up to 11 minutes.

Hope this makes sense..

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

A friend is one who knows you, but loves you anyway.
Marcie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 26th, 2010, 10:52 AM   #1277
Death
Awesome Poster
 
Death's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 2, 2009
Location: Britain
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Why I hate Windows:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey View Post
Perhaps the entire argument [the death penalty] can be summarised in just a sentence.

We kill people who kill people to show others that killing is wrong.
Death is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 30th, 2010, 12:36 PM   #1278
The Dark Lord
Awesome Poster
 
The Dark Lord's Forum Picture
 
Name: George
Join Date: February 6, 2010
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 15
Default

What do you call a woman with an opinion?
WRONG


Susan Boyle says shes a virgin by choice
Obviously not her choice but someone's choice


Life is like a box of biscuits; nobody touches the ginger nuts.
Hats off to the Icelandic people.
First they declared themselves bankrupt...
Then they set their island on fire....
Anyone else smell the mother of all insurance frauds?

Sky News : Man dead, woman critical after stabbing.
- do they NEVER stop nagging?

Last edited by Gumleaf; April 30th, 2010 at 07:08 PM.
The Dark Lord is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 2nd, 2010, 11:24 AM   #1279
Death
Awesome Poster
 
Death's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 2, 2009
Location: Britain
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Don't know about you, but that didn't even make me smile.

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that the spot is for handicapped people. It is Chuck Norris warning you that this is his spot and you will become handicapped if you dare to park there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey View Post
Perhaps the entire argument [the death penalty] can be summarised in just a sentence.

We kill people who kill people to show others that killing is wrong.
Death is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 2nd, 2010, 12:11 PM   #1280
MaliciousBunface
Nice Poster
 
MaliciousBunface's Forum Picture
 
Name: Cassiopeia, the Serpent's Embrace
Join Date: March 26, 2010
Location: A boarding school
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 39
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

^lawl funny

Ya know those "your so dumb" jokes..there is the one "your so dumb you tripped over a wireless phone"-I know someone who has lol not really a joke but oh well

aren't "yo mama" jokes just funny?

I hate people!
-> If you play League you should know what this is :3
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonte95 View Post
So you can be redeemed and get delivered by Jesus and not perish!
Totally
MaliciousBunface is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:40 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2018
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2018, VirtualTeen.org