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Old December 26th, 2018, 10:51 AM   #1
arnorway
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Default what to do?

me and my family are currently at my aunts and her wifes house in olso. earlier, a friend of moms and my aunt from their school days came by with her husband and we all sat around for coffee/tea.
so in conversation they asked if i had a girlfriend and my dad added my parents usual "or boyfriend" thing, something they always do. i simply said no as is the truth but nothing else. my brother (almost 12) then said that they could stop asking for girls as it's probably boys i like, citing one of my christmas gifts that i specifically asked for as "evidence" (john oliver's marlon bundo book). i didn't say anything and thankfully the conversation quickly was changed after some moments of awkwardness.
i'm definitely curious, maybe bisexual, but i know i like girls too. there's a big part in me that doesn't care if anyone thinks i was gay but at the same, it bugs me a bit that they - or at least he - would assume because of a freaking book.
i'm definitely not ready to tell anyone i like boys too since i have no idea if i am curious or more.
so what to do? should i say something to my whole family? just to my brother? should i try not to let it bother me?
ps: i know noone in my family - including both my brothers - would care if i were gay, so it's no fear of anything like that.
pps: i don't think my brother meant it in a bad way, even though it is annoying!

Last edited by arnorway; December 26th, 2018 at 10:57 AM.
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Old December 26th, 2018, 11:04 AM   #2
MasonBA
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Default Re: what to do?

I think you shouldn't say anything more than you have already. Maybe your brother was teasing a little? My parents don't ask me about girls even tho I haven't told them I'm pretty sure I only like boys, they sort of figured it out I guess. If my brother was to say something like that I guess I'd be annoyed too
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Old December 26th, 2018, 11:11 AM   #3
Maxbreak
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Default Re: what to do?

I think it was just a passing offhand comment by Ur bro, don't worry on it from him as he's probably already forgotten.
In terms of Ur feelings, we are all in the throws of puberty. I think a lot of us are having our feelings go crazy
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Old December 26th, 2018, 11:18 AM   #4
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Default Re: what to do?

I dont think you should say anything until you know for sure about yourself. Why put a label on yourself prematurely? I am sure your brother didnt mean any harm by what he said, but I understand your annoyance. Take this time to figure out yourself, then talk to the family about it. Theres no rush.

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Old December 26th, 2018, 11:51 AM   #5
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Default Re: what to do?

I know how you feel because I'm the same. I don't know what I like yet or how to label myself but I think trying not to label yourself is helping me. Its hard thought because people want a label and get confused or uneasy when they can't place people into categories.

If it helps talk to your brother and tell him that and also maybe tell him that speaking up embarrassed you but that you're not mad just maybe don't say to much yet to other people.
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Old December 26th, 2018, 12:00 PM   #6
arnorway
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Default Re: what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by imanopenbook View Post
If it helps talk to your brother and tell him that and also maybe tell him that speaking up embarrassed you but that you're not mad just maybe don't say to much yet to other people.
i am actually leaning towards talking to him alone. but probably will be too nervous and not do it
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Old December 26th, 2018, 03:09 PM   #7
arnorway
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Default Re: what to do?

i decided to tell my brother his statement annoyed me. hope i don't get too nervous
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Old December 26th, 2018, 04:05 PM   #8
arnorway
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Default Re: what to do?

just done it, though it went totally different than i thought - in a good way!
when he came into the room (we have to share here at my aunts), as soon as i had pulled down my earphones and looked up, he apologized and sat down on my bed. apparently dad talked to him but he said he knew as soon as he said it that it wasn't funny even though he assured me it was meant as a tease/joke. he told me he didn't care and that he knew i got mad since i spent most of the time afterwards alone by myself. i told him i didn't get mad but was annoyed at him, especially for his reason (a book). by then i already had tears in my eyes. he hadn't asked, which i was certain he would, but i still told him that i don't know if i like boys but i do have a crush on a girl right now. he didn't say anything but that he's happy for me if i like someone. then we hugged and he had a few tears too

Last edited by arnorway; December 26th, 2018 at 04:18 PM.
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Old December 26th, 2018, 04:16 PM   #9
ska8er
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Default Re: what to do?

Ur 13 I would not declare anything
openly til u live ur teen life a little
more. I would not let it bother me
as well. There is a lot of time for u
to decide who u r and if and when
u come out.
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Old December 26th, 2018, 04:26 PM   #10
arnorway
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Default Re: what to do?

oh, and big thanks to everyone who commented!
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Old December 27th, 2018, 03:29 AM   #11
Oscar2005
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Question Re: what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by randomvirginboy View Post
me and my family are currently at my aunts and her wifes house in olso. earlier, a friend of moms and my aunt from their school days came by with her husband and we all sat around for coffee/tea.
so in conversation they asked if i had a girlfriend and my dad added my parents usual "or boyfriend" thing, something they always do. i simply said no as is the truth but nothing else. my brother (almost 12) then said that they could stop asking for girls as it's probably boys i like, citing one of my christmas gifts that i specifically asked for as "evidence" (john oliver's marlon bundo book). i didn't say anything and thankfully the conversation quickly was changed after some moments of awkwardness.
i'm definitely curious, maybe bisexual, but i know i like girls too. there's a big part in me that doesn't care if anyone thinks i was gay but at the same, it bugs me a bit that they - or at least he - would assume because of a freaking book.
i'm definitely not ready to tell anyone i like boys too since i have no idea if i am curious or more.
so what to do? should i say something to my whole family? just to my brother? should i try not to let it bother me?
ps: i know noone in my family - including both my brothers - would care if i were gay, so it's no fear of anything like that.
pps: i don't think my brother meant it in a bad way, even though it is annoying!
Would you date another boy? Like kiss him, hang out together, go to the cinema together, etc
If so you're probably bi
If you're just curious about other guys' penis size or whether they have pubes or not, its probably just curiosity but not attraction

And tell your bro to mind with his own business
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Old December 27th, 2018, 11:50 AM   #12
MasonBA
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Default Re: what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by randomvirginboy View Post
just done it, though it went totally different than i thought - in a good way!
when he came into the room (we have to share here at my aunts), as soon as i had pulled down my earphones and looked up, he apologized and sat down on my bed. apparently dad talked to him but he said he knew as soon as he said it that it wasn't funny even though he assured me it was meant as a tease/joke. he told me he didn't care and that he knew i got mad since i spent most of the time afterwards alone by myself. i told him i didn't get mad but was annoyed at him, especially for his reason (a book). by then i already had tears in my eyes. he hadn't asked, which i was certain he would, but i still told him that i don't know if i like boys but i do have a crush on a girl right now. he didn't say anything but that he's happy for me if i like someone. then we hugged and he had a few tears too
That's so good you talked and everything is OK with the 2 of you
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Old December 27th, 2018, 12:53 PM   #13
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Default Re: what to do?

I don't think your family would make fun saying "Or boyfriend" if they were homophobic. I think you should wait a bit to say anything to all before you are more sure than curious
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Old December 27th, 2018, 02:43 PM   #14
arnorway
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Default Re: what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natacha View Post
I don't think your family would make fun saying "Or boyfriend" if they were homophobic. I think you should wait a bit to say anything to all before you are more sure than curious
my family is definitely not homophobic and wouldn't care if i like boys or not

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