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Old October 29th, 2010, 08:40 AM   #1
Pirate
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Name: Rosie
Join Date: May 29, 2009
Location: Bonnie Scotland
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I was abused when I was wee, it was a long time before I could do anything sexual without feeling horrible and dirty and I've come along way - the only thing I can't handle is porn. It makes me feel physically sick when I see it. I know that's stupid and pathetic, and I wish it didn't bother me, but I can easily avoid it so it's fine. The only problem, is my boyfriend and me have recently moved to different cities for college, and I know he watches porn when I'm not there.
I WISH I could stop it bothering me, I know it's his choice, I'm not there, I don't have to see it. But I don't know, every time I think about him watching porn and watching other girls doing things.. it makes me feel horrible and insecure. Even when he was reading FRONT at our friends house the other day while I was there, and I like FRONT.. I don't like the naked girls obviously, but in general it's a cool magazine. But I still hated it. (I don't think FRONT is America - look it up!)
Basically, I need advice on how to handle this. I don't mean telling him not to watch porn because I guess that's not fair, but I can't keep feeling like this.

~ there is love in your body, but you can't hold it in
it pours from your eyes and it spills from your skin
the tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks
and the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts.
there is love in your body but you cant get it out
it gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth
sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face
that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste.

Last edited by Pirate; October 29th, 2010 at 09:12 AM.
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Old October 29th, 2010, 09:33 AM   #2
Fusion
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Hey, its not stupid and pathetic don't ever think that. What I would do is talk to your boyfriend about the issue and hopefully he might understand on how you feel about the matter and might try to work something out for you. You have to ask yourself does he actually watch porn?, you never know he might not be, he might be staying true for you. That is the brightside!


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Old October 29th, 2010, 09:45 AM   #3
Pirate
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Location: Bonnie Scotland
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Thank you. I was thinking about talking to him about it. But I don't feel comfortable stopping him doing what he wants just because of my issues? You know? I don't want my problems to become a hassle for him. I know he does do it though, he admitted once.

~ there is love in your body, but you can't hold it in
it pours from your eyes and it spills from your skin
the tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks
and the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts.
there is love in your body but you cant get it out
it gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth
sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face
that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste.
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Old October 29th, 2010, 09:48 AM   #4
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It's not stupid and pathetic, I've never been abused and i don't like the thought of my bf watching porn.. I just don't think about it. I think this is the key, just let what you don't see not hurt you... :/

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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Old October 29th, 2010, 09:51 AM   #5
Fusion
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pirate View Post
Thank you. I was thinking about talking to him about it. But I don't feel comfortable stopping him doing what he wants just because of my issues? You know? I don't want my problems to become a hassle for him. I know he does do it though, he admitted once.
The best thing to do is just to ask him, even though you think its an issue it really isn't, well in my eyes it isn't. I am sure he would understand, I would in his position and I would stop doing it. I know it might be hard and I am sure you have tried it but everytime you think about it, try thinking of something else?


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Old October 29th, 2010, 10:11 AM   #6
Shawn Micheal
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NO WAY
I think parents should raise their children in such a nice way that they won't go for it considering it is wrong.
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Old October 29th, 2010, 10:19 AM   #7
Pirate
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn Micheal View Post
NO WAY
I think parents should raise their children in such a nice way that they won't go for it considering it is wrong.
I don't believe porn is wrong - I personally hate it, but that's because of my own problems but I have no prejudices and whether or not porn itself is wrong isn't really the issue here.. I don't want any arguments started.

~ there is love in your body, but you can't hold it in
it pours from your eyes and it spills from your skin
the tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks
and the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts.
there is love in your body but you cant get it out
it gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth
sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face
that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste.
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Old October 29th, 2010, 12:31 PM   #8
whereismymind
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Tell him you don't like him watching it and just ask him to stop for you.

"Don't let anyone tell you what you are ever- that way you never run the danger of becoming anything but what you believe in."
Pete Wentz
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Old October 29th, 2010, 02:31 PM   #9
Sith Lord 13
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I agree with Fiction here. The key is to not think about it. Distract yourself whenever you start to.

If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
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Old November 2nd, 2010, 08:49 AM   #10
Pirate
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I haven't asked him to stop, but we ended up having one of those massive conversations that last until 6 in the morning last night, and I brought it up. I made it clear I didn't think badly of him as such, and that I wasn't asking him to stop, but that it really bothered me and told him how it made me feel. We talked about it, and he never agreed to stop it but I think, at least he knows now and if it continues to bother me in the future to the point where it still feels like a problem, I might ask him to consider not doing it.

Thanks for everyone's help.

~ there is love in your body, but you can't hold it in
it pours from your eyes and it spills from your skin
the tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks
and the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts.
there is love in your body but you cant get it out
it gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth
sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face
that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste.
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Old November 17th, 2010, 10:05 AM   #11
Wings of Despair
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Don`t watch porn.Many people don`t like porn but like having sex.They are 2 different things
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