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Old March 15th, 2010, 06:09 AM   #1241
Gumleaf
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

this joke is a bit dirty so if you are easily offended, please don't keep reading......


A woman goes in to the green grocers and asks 4 a cucumber he replys whole or sliced ??? she says ive got a fanny not a slot machine

stephen

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Old March 15th, 2010, 07:41 AM   #1242
kenoloor
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Originally Posted by Gumleaf View Post
this joke is a bit dirty so if you are easily offended, please don't keep reading......


A woman goes in to the green grocers and asks 4 a cucumber he replys whole or sliced ??? she says ive got a fanny not a slot machine
xD lol. Nice.

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Old March 18th, 2010, 01:31 PM   #1243
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♫♪Κodie♪♫
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Old March 20th, 2010, 05:24 AM   #1244
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

LOL Cody
As terrible as that is, still funny.

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As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly.

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Old March 23rd, 2010, 02:23 AM   #1245
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Murdoc View Post
A pirate goes into a bar with a steering wheel dug into his crotch. The bartender asks, "Hey buddy, how'd you get that thing in there?" The pirate replied, "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts."
Even though that's almost the corniest joke that i've ever heard, i lol'd SO hard. Awesome!

Advise isn't my specialty... would a sarcastic, quite possibly sadistic, comment do the job?

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Old March 26th, 2010, 08:40 AM   #1246
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Even though that's almost the corniest joke that i've ever heard, i lol'd SO hard. Awesome!
Agreed. A friend of mine told me that in school, and I was laughing for a solid five-ten minutes after it, just cuz it was soo freaking cheesy.

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Old March 27th, 2010, 05:38 PM   #1247
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Cody, that's horrible! But awesome.



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I'm about to assassinate Gandhi.
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Old March 27th, 2010, 11:05 PM   #1248
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A man is driving to his office one morning. Out of nowhere, in the passenger seat, Jesus appears. The man is shocked and amazed. He says to Jesus, "My Lord! What are you doing here?"

"My child, this is simply but a vision. I am not truly in the flesh."

"I know, but this is amazing! But why have you given me this vision?"

"Since you have been in the good graces of the Father, you have been awarded with the opportunity to enter heaven when you die no matter what you do in your earthly life."

The man is dumbfounded by this, and he asks Jesus, "Well there must be a catch!" Jesus answered, "Yes, but only one catch."

"What is it my Lord? I will do anything!"

Jesus looks further up the road for a few moments. He turns to the man and says, "You see that black guy crossing the street...?"


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Hello again VirtualTeen. you blackhole.

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Old March 29th, 2010, 01:01 PM   #1249
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Murdoc View Post
A man is driving to his office one morning. Out of nowhere, in the passenger seat, Jesus appears. The man is shocked and amazed. He says to Jesus, "My Lord! What are you doing here?"

"My child, this is simply but a vision. I am not truly in the flesh."

"I know, but this is amazing! But why have you given me this vision?"

"Since you have been in the good graces of the Father, you have been awarded with the opportunity to enter heaven when you die no matter what you do in your earthly life."

The man is dumbfounded by this, and he asks Jesus, "Well there must be a catch!" Jesus answered, "Yes, but only one catch."

"What is it my Lord? I will do anything!"

Jesus looks further up the road for a few moments. He turns to the man and says, "You see that black guy crossing the street...?"
I don't get it...

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


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Old March 29th, 2010, 05:42 PM   #1250
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I don't get it...
I was implying Jesus is a racist


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Hello again VirtualTeen. you blackhole.

No tears to cry
No feelings left
This species has
Amused itself to death
Last.FM
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Old March 29th, 2010, 06:46 PM   #1251
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Murdoc View Post
A man is driving to his office one morning. Out of nowhere, in the passenger seat, Jesus appears. The man is shocked and amazed. He says to Jesus, "My Lord! What are you doing here?"

"My child, this is simply but a vision. I am not truly in the flesh."

"I know, but this is amazing! But why have you given me this vision?"

"Since you have been in the good graces of the Father, you have been awarded with the opportunity to enter heaven when you die no matter what you do in your earthly life."

The man is dumbfounded by this, and he asks Jesus, "Well there must be a catch!" Jesus answered, "Yes, but only one catch."

"What is it my Lord? I will do anything!"

Jesus looks further up the road for a few moments. He turns to the man and says, "You see that black guy crossing the street...?"
Nice =)

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be.
I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine
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Old March 29th, 2010, 07:04 PM   #1252
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Do you know why men are no longer allowed to grill? Its cooking, just outdoors thats a womens job, you might as well just stick a bathroom out there to make it more authentic.

Drop Acid, Not Bombs.
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Old March 30th, 2010, 09:04 AM   #1253
kenoloor
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Do you know why men are no longer allowed to grill? Its cooking, just outdoors thats a womens job, you might as well just stick a bathroom out there to make it more authentic.
Win.

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Old March 31st, 2010, 08:19 PM   #1254
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?


Cause she's a woman

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Mhmm. RAINBOWS ARE MADE OF MAGIC.
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Old April 2nd, 2010, 10:01 PM   #1255
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Sexist. >.<




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Old April 2nd, 2010, 10:07 PM   #1256
Aves
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

The word of the day is "legs", so lets go out and spread the word!



P.S:2,500 post!!

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Jo's my sexy nurse.
Quote:
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That's like oranges smushed into a coconut with a single pube sticking out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapphire_Flames View Post
you're like a Thai girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiros
Mhmm. RAINBOWS ARE MADE OF MAGIC.
MIKEY WAS HERE AND HE LOVES CON
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Old April 3rd, 2010, 01:49 PM   #1257
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A woman shoots her husband, hold him under water for 5 minutes then hangs him. After that she takes him out to dinner.
how?

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

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Old April 3rd, 2010, 02:29 PM   #1258
Aves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcie View Post
A woman shoots her husband, hold him under water for 5 minutes then hangs him. After that she takes him out to dinner.
how?
I don't get it :S Please explain.

Lexi Is The Bestest
Jo's my sexy nurse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo
That's like oranges smushed into a coconut with a single pube sticking out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapphire_Flames View Post
you're like a Thai girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiros
Mhmm. RAINBOWS ARE MADE OF MAGIC.
MIKEY WAS HERE AND HE LOVES CON
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Old April 3rd, 2010, 07:22 PM   #1259
kenoloor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcie View Post
A woman shoots her husband, hold him under water for 5 minutes then hangs him. After that she takes him out to dinner.
how?
What the fuck?

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Old April 4th, 2010, 12:33 PM   #1260
Marcie
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Quote:
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I don't get it :S Please explain.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Once View Post
What the fuck?
Hehe
HINT: think about the different meanings of the word "shoot."

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven


"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

A friend is one who knows you, but loves you anyway.
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