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Old April 8th, 2011, 07:05 PM   #1501
ShatteredWings
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Name: Kyle
Join Date: October 18, 2007
Location: down the rabbit hole
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith Lord 13 View Post
Bathrooms

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.

The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.
I find this to be true with my mother

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapphire_Flames View Post
VT turned me lesbo acid wankers wtf.
~Laura Was Here~
Retired Gmod
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Old April 9th, 2011, 10:09 AM   #1502
Example..
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What is mary short for? she has no legs..
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Old April 9th, 2011, 10:53 AM   #1503
Sith Lord 13
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Differences Between Man and Women

Eating Out

When the bill arrives, John, Brad, Tony and Daniel will each throw in $20, even though the total is only $34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want change back.

When Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
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Old April 10th, 2011, 04:12 PM   #1504
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hahaha my friend told me this super lame one
two guys walk into a bar. ouch

An intelligent person does not need the promise of heaven to see the merit of good deeds
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Old April 10th, 2011, 10:30 PM   #1505
Sith Lord 13
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
"You're all clear kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!" - Han Solo
Awesome People: Country-Cowgirl, Goose, RodeoGirl, Maliza, ShatteredWings Thanks to Kaius for the awesome sig.
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Old April 10th, 2011, 10:40 PM   #1506
skinny_white_boy
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

I've bought myself a chinchilla.

That should keep my face nice and cool in this warm weather.
Pun!


My mates call me gay because I can't stay on a skateboard for longer a minute.

I'd like to see them try it with high heels on



What's green and smells of pork?

Kermit's finger.

Last edited by skinny_white_boy; April 10th, 2011 at 10:43 PM.
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Old April 10th, 2011, 10:54 PM   #1507
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skinny_white_boy View Post
What's green and smells of pork?

Kermit's finger.
thats funny XD lol
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Old April 11th, 2011, 12:04 AM   #1508
Sith Lord 13
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
"You're all clear kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!" - Han Solo
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Old April 11th, 2011, 04:52 AM   #1509
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What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donkey View Post
Perhaps the entire argument [the death penalty] can be summarised in just a sentence.

We kill people who kill people to show others that killing is wrong.
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Old April 11th, 2011, 09:53 AM   #1510
Sith Lord 13
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Women are crazy. Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
"You're all clear kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!" - Han Solo
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Old April 14th, 2011, 12:12 AM   #1511
deadpie
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Name: Damien Ark
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Wow! I don't find any of these jokes funny. They're all immature and dumb. I know you're trying to bring laughter and positivity to the place by making jokes, but I don't care at all. I just feel the need to take a gigantic shit on something positive so I can go back to posting threads about how much I hate my life.

-----------------------------------

Statistically 9/11 Americans won't get this.
/

I still remember the words I said to my girlfriend the day we became engaged.
I fell to my knees and said, 'I thought you were on the fucking pill!'
/
As a child I learnt a lot of things from Disney films.
For instance, going around kissing women who are in a coma is acceptable.
/

My friend said to me, "You're unreal - you'd fuck anything with a pulse!"
A pulse? I'm not that fussy!
/

My new girlfriend is pretty much a bike.
She's not a slut or anything, I just chain her up in the garage at night.
/

Me and my girlfriend had a pillow fight in bed last night.
She struggled for quite some time, but I held it down tight until she finally stopped moving.

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Old April 14th, 2011, 10:24 AM   #1512
Sith Lord 13
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles


If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
"You're all clear kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!" - Han Solo
Awesome People: Country-Cowgirl, Goose, RodeoGirl, Maliza, ShatteredWings Thanks to Kaius for the awesome sig.
Puppy <3 Kitty
http://i853.photobucket.com/albums/ab93/Kaius10/Alex-1.png
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Old April 17th, 2011, 10:03 AM   #1513
Rayquaza
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Q: Difference between a straight and a bi?
A: Two pints of lager

I heard that off "Come fly with me"
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Old April 17th, 2011, 05:15 PM   #1514
Sith Lord 13
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles


If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
"You're all clear kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!" - Han Solo
Awesome People: Country-Cowgirl, Goose, RodeoGirl, Maliza, ShatteredWings Thanks to Kaius for the awesome sig.
Puppy <3 Kitty
http://i853.photobucket.com/albums/ab93/Kaius10/Alex-1.png
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Old April 24th, 2011, 05:51 PM   #1515
Jody Jackson
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

"In the Soviet Union, a Comrade Commissar went up to a farmer and said, "How are the Crops?"

"Oh, the crops have never been better. In fact, if we were to pile all of the potatoes up, they would reach the foot of God," the farmer said.

The Comrade Commissar said, "But this is the Soviet Union, there is no God."

The farmer replied, "That's okay, there're no potatoes."

---Ronald Reagan

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

Last edited by Jody Jackson; April 24th, 2011 at 05:51 PM. Reason: Mistake
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Old April 26th, 2011, 11:17 PM   #1516
Blind
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Name: It's Tory T-O-R-Y not Troy get it right :p
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith Lord 13 View Post
I dont get it

Thanks Aaron for the Awesome Siggy!
Ronnie Rocks!
Tom Rocks!

If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me I would be glad to help.
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Old April 27th, 2011, 02:38 AM   #1517
Sith Lord 13
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kickflip View Post
I dont get it
It's a metro-gnome.

If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
"You're all clear kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!" - Han Solo
Awesome People: Country-Cowgirl, Goose, RodeoGirl, Maliza, ShatteredWings Thanks to Kaius for the awesome sig.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 09:39 PM   #1518
Kaya
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith Lord 13 View Post
It's a metro-gnome.
Lolz. Well, that's very......punny



Here's a conversation my brother's nurse and I had about the way my dog smelled...


Beth: Wow. I just got a woof of it.

Me: Aha. That's punny.

Beth: We crack ourselves up.




Yepp.

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Old May 1st, 2011, 11:09 AM   #1519
Sith Lord 13
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Name: Alex
Join Date: March 28, 2010
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles


If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. I can't promise I'll solve your problem but I'll do my best to help.
"You're all clear kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!" - Han Solo
Awesome People: Country-Cowgirl, Goose, RodeoGirl, Maliza, ShatteredWings Thanks to Kaius for the awesome sig.
Puppy <3 Kitty
http://i853.photobucket.com/albums/ab93/Kaius10/Alex-1.png
~Kyle Was Here, and Was Awesome~
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Old May 2nd, 2011, 10:23 PM   #1520
Kaya
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Knock- Knock
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Quit crying...it's only a joke.


Bahahahhahha

Brandon is my VT brother
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