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Old January 3rd, 2018, 04:06 PM   #1
demit
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Default two brothers

I am 13yo, I'm soon 14 and I live with two older brothers 19 and 23yo. Dad left us while I was little, we didnt saw him 5 years now. Our mother died last year, so the court gave custody of me to the oldest brother. The middle brother and I then moved to his place and began to live together . I thought that life with two brothers was incredibly fun and relaxed, but not, I have the feeling that I got new parents. The two of them are like the best friends, they go out together,have fun , they have their secrets, but they treat me as a little kid. For example, I have a certain time when I have to be home, if I want to go somewhere I have to always ask for permission, alwayse ask me about my homework atc ... last week I got a smacing and a punishment of two weeks. Ok I know I'm guilty and everything, but I would not behave like that if they discount me a bit, . First of all, the older brother, the middle one does not have ask as much as it is about discipline and rules.
I love them and everything, but I'm sincerely jealous of their relationship and I am angry that they treat me as a kid ...
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Old January 3rd, 2018, 04:49 PM   #2
ska8er
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Default Re: two brothers

U r the Little Bro and ur Big Bro has
custody of u and ur middle Bro. He is
responsible for u and is acting as a
parent. He has a right to discipline
u and tell u what he expects of u an
u have to not only look up to him as
a Brother but as a Dad. Ur middle Bro
is I guess of legal age so he has also
acts as an adult. Unless u can go out
on ur own and earn a living u have to
listen to ur Big Bro and take his orders.
U have to learn that he has a big order
of responsibility for u and u should listen
and accept it.

If u care to talk message me.
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Old January 4th, 2018, 02:24 AM   #3
gdude
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Default Re: two brothers

Dude its tough and I understand pm if you wanna talk
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Old January 4th, 2018, 03:58 AM   #4
Just JT
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Default Re: two brothers

Sorry for your loss Man. That sucks.

But I will say your lucky you have them there for you. By not having family that would take you in leaves you in worse places like that

They are older than you and probably have things they talk about that you shouldnít hear. And if grounding you is cause they care bro.

Itís likley not gonna change any time soon, but Iíd try and prove you can be more independent and not need all that looking after

But also a lot got dropped on their lap to Man. They lost Mom n dad just like you...and me. And now they need to step up and do the adult thing like your mom or Dad shoulda been doing. And thatís peobably not easy for them either
Thatís a lotta huge change in family to deal with.
Just give it some time
And talk to your oldest bro. Let him know how you feel
Even print this thread up and have him read it.
Might help

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Old January 4th, 2018, 10:58 AM   #5
lliam
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Default Re: two brothers

tbh, as said above, you are the youngest, you are the kid.
good news is: doesn't last long. In a few years they've to face a more matured version of you.
sad news: you've constantly work on that. good luck.





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Old January 5th, 2018, 01:25 AM   #6
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Default Re: two brothers

This is a tough situation. You have lost both of your parents and been forced to mature quickly and put in a challenging household. For that, you have my sympathy. keep in mind, in the eyes of the law, your oldest brother is your parent. I'm guessing that unless you were raised in a chaotic household your brothers had rules when they were your age. As much as it sucks, your brothers are in a different stage of life than you are.

I'm going to be 19 in March and I am years away from being ready to be a father. Your brother has taken you on and it is a major obligation. The fact that he is good enough to check on your homework and other stuff shows me that he cares about you and is very mature. He could potential loose you at some point if he looked like an unfit guardian.

As far as the 23 yr old acting like the 19 yr old is "Daddy #2" is unacceptable. That being said, he is doing so such right that I'm struggling to fault him and in the grand scheme of things seems small. In my opinion, your guardian gets a passing grade.


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Old January 5th, 2018, 11:59 AM   #7
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Default Re: two brothers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just JT View Post
Sorry for your loss Man. That sucks.

But I will say your lucky you have them there for you. By not having family that would take you in leaves you in worse places like that

They are older than you and probably have things they talk about that you shouldnít hear. And if grounding you is cause they care bro.

Itís likley not gonna change any time soon, but Iíd try and prove you can be more independent and not need all that looking after

But also a lot got dropped on their lap to Man. They lost Mom n dad just like you...and me. And now they need to step up and do the adult thing like your mom or Dad shoulda been doing. And thatís peobably not easy for them either
Thatís a lotta huge change in family to deal with.
Just give it some time
And talk to your oldest bro. Let him know how you feel
Even print this thread up and have him read it.
Might help
With what you've gone through you are very lucky to have your brother as a guardian, rather than get into the foster system....he loves you which is why he did what he felt was right...there is no manual for parenting and I'm sure at his age he didn't expect to be responsible for another human being, but he is and trying to do his best...as you get older they will include you in ore that is age-appropriate I believe....just be happy

I am a twin, 18 -- gay and proud. Would love to talk to all you guys in here. Very open to discuss things and like to talk to new friends.
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Old January 5th, 2018, 12:53 PM   #8
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Default Re: two brothers

Quote:
Originally Posted by demit View Post
last week I got a smacing and a punishment of two weeks. Ok I know I'm guilty
If you want them to treat you like an adult, behave like one.
Show them they can trust you and they will ease up on the rules. But if you show you cannot follow the rules, they will punish you. That happens in every household, no matter if the guardians are parents, siblings or foster parents.

I feel sorry for your loss, but you are still a minor. And if you didn't have your brothers, you would have gone to a foster home. Those have their rules as well, and if you don't obey them, you may have been moved to another foster home, and another, and another.. No-one will benefit from that, least of all you.

Be happy with what you have, and, again, if you want to be treated like an adult, behave like one.

I'm les, feel free to contact me
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Old January 6th, 2018, 07:08 AM   #9
demit
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Default Re: two brothers

yeah, that's true. i know that i'm lucky i have them. and i love them. but why i can't stay with them when they have friends over and have fun. i mean, i am 13 not 3, i know stuff. when their friends come they are like '' get out kid, there is nothing for you to hear''. i mean, i am 13 not 3, i know stuff
they had each other when they were growning up, regardless a four year difference. i am alone.
i talk to them and they know how i feel lonly sometimes, and they are sorry. but after day or two its the some.i feel stupid to say but sometimes im doing some stuff just to draw their attention....
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Old January 6th, 2018, 08:46 AM   #10
Just JT
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Default Re: two brothers

This canít be said enough. They love you bro....they care, embrace that
My dad was more like a friend than a dad. And we did all those things Friends do with each other. But I was like 10. And thatís not cool to go then and hang with your friends and they ask what I did with my dad and I think all those things are normal Dad/son shit. And itís not

Iím 4 years older than you, and what Iíll say is enjoy this time. Give them their space to. Theyíll respect you more for understanding that better.

You all been through a lot. Theire grieving to. Am doing they are taking care of you. Yeah even at 13...dam even 17 I need my mom n dad....so you need them also. Itíll change bro give it Time.

They just want you to grow up right is all. So do that

But talk to them and ask them why you canít chill with them. Theyíll probably say and maybe not. Trust me thereís probably some shit you donít wana know about

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Old January 11th, 2018, 01:06 AM   #11
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Default Re: two brothers

I have 2 brothers. I'm in the middle.
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Old January 13th, 2018, 12:32 AM   #12
rohancool
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Default Re: two brothers

Quote:
Originally Posted by demit View Post
I am 13yo, I'm soon 14 and I live with two older brothers 19 and 23yo. Dad left us while I was little, we didnt saw him 5 years now. Our mother died last year, so the court gave custody of me to the oldest brother. The middle brother and I then moved to his place and began to live together . I thought that life with two brothers was incredibly fun and relaxed, but not, I have the feeling that I got new parents. The two of them are like the best friends, they go out together,have fun , they have their secrets, but they treat me as a little kid. For example, I have a certain time when I have to be home, if I want to go somewhere I have to always ask for permission, alwayse ask me about my homework atc ... last week I got a smacing and a punishment of two weeks. Ok I know I'm guilty and everything, but I would not behave like that if they discount me a bit, . First of all, the older brother, the middle one does not have ask as much as it is about discipline and rules.
I love them and everything, but I'm sincerely jealous of their relationship and I am angry that they treat me as a kid ...
Well I understand how you feel (same age) but I think you should think from your brother point. The day he comes like your legal guardian the outlook of relation changes. With parents around, big brothers can be carefree, mock you and irritate you at times but are generally fun. In your case, they changed because they got the legal responsibility (well being) of you.

So it's nothing much change of mindset. They probably want to set up a good example.
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Old January 16th, 2018, 09:18 AM   #13
demit
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Default Re: two brothers

yeah, well, i just have fear that in a few years they will be already married and they would have their own families and problems and i will stay back. again. even now i hardly see them, with my school, and their jobs and middle brother even enrolle in college
and when they are home they have friends over or doing their work or study.
there are rare evenings that we spend together all three of us watching movie or something. often i feel like i'm alone.
so i throw a tantrum, or slam the door just to draw their attention and to show them thah i am still there.
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Old January 16th, 2018, 09:33 AM   #14
TheDudeJ
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Default Re: two brothers

I'm really sorry for what happened I think the best thing u can do is try and talk to them about how u feel, and don't slam the door
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Old January 16th, 2018, 10:43 AM   #15
Anthony17
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Default Re: two brothers

Quote:
Originally Posted by demit View Post
yeah, well, i just have fear that in a few years they will be already married and they would have their own families and problems and i will stay back. again. even now i hardly see them, with my school, and their jobs and middle brother even enrolle in college
and when they are home they have friends over or doing their work or study.
there are rare evenings that we spend together all three of us watching movie or something. often i feel like i'm alone.
so i throw a tantrum, or slam the door just to draw their attention and to show them thah i am still there.
I don't think they ever forget about you. You're blood right?

"I enjoy the sun and the beauty of summer as long as I can. Who knows whether one of these days I shall not be prevented from doing it?" - Alexei Nikolaevich

ďHow wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.Ē - Anne Frank
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Old January 17th, 2018, 11:16 AM   #16
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Default Re: two brothers

Maybe just sit them down and talk about what you feel. You are the youngest but you won't be a kid for long. I think some of it might come from stress because he went from a brother to being a parent now and protecting you so I think some of that friendship goes away with all his stress. I hope everything goes well for you!

17 and Bi. Hopefully i answered your question! I love helping everyone with their questions and problems so feel free to message me if you need to talk!
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