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Old August 8th, 2016, 04:05 AM   #1
Zander_
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Default I don't know what to do anymore

I've generally been accepted as a transgender by friends and family. They are OK with the way I dress and look. They call me by the name I want to be called. The problem is there is one person who hates me because of it. He abuses me both physically and mentally. He says he's trying to fix me. I don't see how all the bruises are supposed to do that. I thought about telling someone but he said if I ever tell anyone about this, he will kill me. The abuse has been getting worse and I've started having nightmares about it. I don't know what to do
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Old August 8th, 2016, 04:34 AM   #2
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zander_ View Post
I've generally been accepted as a transgender by friends and family. They are OK with the way I dress and look. They call me by the name I want to be called. The problem is there is one person who hates me because of it. He abuses me both physically and mentally. He says he's trying to fix me. I don't see how all the bruises are supposed to do that. I thought about telling someone but he said if I ever tell anyone about this, he will kill me. The abuse has been getting worse and I've started having nightmares about it. I don't know what to do
This is so wrong and you must seek help!! You need to call the police my friend and send this bastard to prison! You can get a restraining order when they get out


I'm a prettyyy awkward weeb that likes alcohol and punk rock :')
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Old August 8th, 2016, 08:38 AM   #3
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Hey Zander and welcome to VT

Like already stated, you need some help with this one person. Sounds like you have a great support system in your life. I'd use it and turn to your parents and let them know what's going on. This person is wrong in his views and actions, and illegal. Nobody has a right to treat anyone like this. You have a right to live your life in peace how you choose to live it.

Please, talk to your parents, let them know what's happening to you. I'm sure the police will know how to protect you, if needed. A lot of these kinds of people just make that threat to keep you scared so you don't say anything. And allows you to be an open target for their abuse.

We're also here for you. 24/7 there's always someone on and willing to chat or whatever.

Good luck, let us know how you made out ok?

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Old August 8th, 2016, 01:53 PM   #4
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Thanks for the replies. This person is a family member so it kind of makes it harder for me to tell someone. I'm just worried its going to break up our family. It just don't want the abuse to get worse though
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Old August 8th, 2016, 02:04 PM   #5
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zander_ View Post
I've generally been accepted as a transgender by friends and family. They are OK with the way I dress and look. They call me by the name I want to be called. The problem is there is one person who hates me because of it. He abuses me both physically and mentally. He says he's trying to fix me. I don't see how all the bruises are supposed to do that. I thought about telling someone but he said if I ever tell anyone about this, he will kill me. The abuse has been getting worse and I've started having nightmares about it. I don't know what to do
You must tell someone it isn't right
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Old August 8th, 2016, 02:07 PM   #6
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

A family member is doing this to you?
Seriously?
Then someone I'm quite sure sees this in some way.
And if I'm right then either they are enabling this person, turning a blind eye, or are just not aware of it.

I'd tell the third person I mentioned.

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Old August 8th, 2016, 03:29 PM   #7
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Do the other family members know what this one person does?
You said they accept you. So maybe someone can mediate between you?
Don't you think there could be found a solution without breaking up the family?
No matter what reasons there are you don't have to accept to be physically abused like that...so if you don't feel save call in the autorities.
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Old August 8th, 2016, 08:46 PM   #8
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

It's my older brother who is abusing me. He is 18 but still lives with us. He used to be nice to me but once I came out as being a transgender and started dressing and looking like a boy he really started hating me. Even though I want the abuse to stop, he's still my older brother and I don't want to get him in trouble with the law and have his life ruined. I just want us to both be happy and ok with each other again
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Old August 8th, 2016, 09:29 PM   #9
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Yeah...totally get how you feel. Therefore I asked whether it is possible to talk to some other family members who accept you to kinda mediate between you.
You really should find a way to talk about why he can't accept you and why he thinks hurting you could change the way you are.
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Old August 8th, 2016, 10:14 PM   #10
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanut_ View Post
Yeah...totally get how you feel. Therefore I asked whether it is possible to talk to some other family members who accept you to kinda mediate between you.
You really should find a way to talk about why he can't accept you and why he thinks hurting you could change the way you are.
Sorry I meant to add that part. My brother is kind of on thin ice with my parents and most of my family really. If they find out about this they will probably just kick him out of the house without a job or anywhere to live. There is only one family member I would even consider telling about this but she is currently in the military living half way across the world right now so communication is pretty difficult right now
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Old August 8th, 2016, 10:34 PM   #11
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

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Sorry I meant to add that part. My brother is kind of on thin ice with my parents and most of my family really. If they find out about this they will probably just kick him out of the house without a job or anywhere to live. There is only one family member I would even consider telling about this but she is currently in the military living half way across the world right now so communication is pretty difficult right now
So well if he is on such thin ice already it's even worse he acts like that, isn't it.
Maybe being thrown out would be a wake up call for him that he can't just walk over other people if he needs people's goodwill himself?
I really don't think you should endure this so just he doesn't get into trouble since he doesn't seems to care about your well-being.
You talked to him about why he can't accept the fact that you the way you are?
But till you decide on what to do ...do you have possibilities to avoid him and not have to be alone with him? Cuz seriously you shouldn't risk your health just to protect him.
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Old August 8th, 2016, 11:04 PM   #12
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

I know I'm probably sounding stupid right now but he doesn't deserve to be thrown out. I know that somewhere inside of him is a good person. I've seen it before. And maybe in some twisted way he truly thinks he is doing a good thing by trying to change me back into who I used to be. I don't know. Maybe I'm just not thinking right
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Old August 9th, 2016, 04:44 AM   #13
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

I don't think your over thinking this at all. I think I agree with @Peanut_. He need to stop, and your entitled to live your life the way you want without being abused like this. It's just plain wrong, on so many levels. Especially from a family member. He should be supporting you. At a minimum if he doesn't approve, he's free to express it, but should be supportive of you and isn't given a free pass to abuse you just cause he's got a different opinion of gender identification.

If you say something and he gets his ass kiked outa the house. Then he's gotten what he's deserved, for what ever reason. Seems he's tested the households rules or what ever. Maybe he need a little rough justice in his life.

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Old August 9th, 2016, 08:02 AM   #14
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

Whatever happens, You should tell this to your family. What your brother is doing to you is absolutely wrong. It cant go on like this. Maybe ask them to give him a second chance, but you should probably tell someone.
Just whatever you do if you dont wanna harm him throw him a messeage somehow that you are not accepting this abuse anymore. he hasn't got the rights to abuse you cuz you are a transgender.

Last edited by Desynchronized; August 9th, 2016 at 08:47 AM.
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Old August 9th, 2016, 02:23 PM   #15
Zander_
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

I'm going to tell my parents tonight. I don't want to get him in trouble but you guys are right. This needs to stop
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Old August 10th, 2016, 05:34 AM   #16
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

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I'm going to tell my parents tonight. I don't want to get him in trouble but you guys are right. This needs to stop
great,you've made the right decision, hope everything goes fine and all this abuse stops. Good luck
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Old August 10th, 2016, 08:29 AM   #17
Zander_
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

He raped me last night. He was mad because I got him in trouble. He said he was proving that I am a girl, not a boy. It was a horrible, painful, terrifying experience. But now I don't really feel anything. No anger, no pain, nothing. I feel nothing
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Old August 10th, 2016, 08:57 AM   #18
Just JT
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

I really hope you told your parents or the police about this.
If not, don't take a shower, and tell them now, this is all wrong, and he needs to be held accountable for his actions and you need medical attention, like now!!

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Old August 10th, 2016, 09:36 AM   #19
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

As @Just JT said you must take action asap...you can't let something like that go unpunished.
I really can't say anymore to it right now as it is very triggering for me atm.
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Old August 10th, 2016, 10:25 AM   #20
Zander_
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Default Re: I don't know what to do anymore

I know I need to say something. I'm just trying to gain the strength to
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