Am I taking this too far?

My family always criticise what I look like. They call me fat and stiff really openly. I really don’t like it, and it doesn’t help that I’m depressed (they know this). I’ve started eating less recently and I really want to stop eating. I skip breakfast and lie about it and feel really good about this later. I pack less food for lunch and gladly give others my food. I feel like I’ve taken their comments too far. Have I? They still call me fat and stuff but I know I’m trying to be skinnier. They compare me to actresses and other tall girls and say ‘you used to be like that!’ This makes me feel so worthless. I’ve told them I don’t like it and they say ‘you’re taking it the wrong way’. Am I really that fat? I weigh 68?kg and I’m 174 cn tall, age 13. Is it really that bad?

You aren’t fat. Your parents are wrong to criticize you. It is definitely not okay. It irritates me that they even say you’re taking it the wrong way. There is no reason to compare you to other people, and say you used to be like that. That doesn’t sound very supportive at all. Try not to let them upset you and please do not stop eating due to their comments. Skipping breakfast and eating less because they don’t have any tact isn’t good at all. I think you are perfect just the way you are, and that is their loss if they can’t see that.

I am so sorry to hear this.

First thing, your family is disgusting and it seems that their comments have made you possibly develop an eating disorder. Second thing, don't blame yourself, you didn't take anything too far your family did with all the comments. I would recommend talking to them and letting them know how you feel if they still won't listen and don't change then get the fuck out of there. Go stay with a friend and don't let your family's poisonous words change you. Keep eating normally. Also, try and talk to teachers at school and maybe the counselor because your family is being borderline abusive.

I love my family despite all they do. But I just can’t stop feeling fat. I know I’m not too bad, but I just feel so bad. I know that it’s wrong, but I can’t stop feeling prod of myself for skipping a meal. I’ve tried contacting the school counsel lord but my emails keep bouncing back and the office ladies won’t let you go in without an appointment. Things are getting bad and I wish I could listen to what all of you say, but I’m not pretty or even normal. My ‘best friend’ keeps calling me ugly and stuff so now I’m always alone. People only come to me when they need something. I’m so worthless. I’m just a rebound for everyone. 😭

5'8 is pretty tall for a woman.

I had an anorexic friend who was so insecure about their body. They wouldn't eat. Like, no matter what you tried to tell them, they wouldn't eat. And it really sucked. I didn't know how to help them in any way, but it was because they wouldn't accept help.

It sucked, and it really hurt.

You need to stop getting into that habit, you need food. Not eating food is doing worse to your body than eating it. You're missing out on vitamins you need to survive.

Look, I understand how it is to feel like you're overweight. When I was 10, I had a wide frame and I was stubby. Now, I'm tall and lanky, and I have better confidence in my body.
This wasn't because I worked out, it just happened.

But after all of that, I encouraged myself to keep fit.

There's nothing wrong with you. Follow your opinion.

Our bodies change in a lot of ways. And they will change in a lot of ways.

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If you want to improve thoroughly, just work out from time to time. You're still growing, so you don't exactly have to get built, you just have to work out moderately.

I walk my dog and set 1-3 days every week where I focus on working out my upper-body.
Try finding something that works for you.

You'll find confidence and it feels good.
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Thanks for the suggestions, but my depression make me so tired all the time. I tried to exercise, but I just can’t. I used to do the treadmill for fat burn but then I slipped and fell and grazed myself really badly. So...

Does what I’m doing classify as an eating disorder?

Originally Posted by Ilove318

Does what I’m doing classify as an eating disorder?

It definitely could, but I'm not a trained specialist so I would have no clue. Using my own experience, I'm about the same weight as you but I'm 152cm so I can assure you, you are not overweight. There's always the option to ask a free specialist online about it. Possibly they can lead you to better advice or better alternatives.

My word probably doesn't mean a lot to you, and you are probably upset that your family is calling you such names, but try to keep your chin up and be happy with the way you are. Everyday, look at yourself and feel happy for what you look like. Be happy about your hair, your eyes, your nose, your arms, your belly, be happy about it and write it down even, it might help you think differently about yourself.

I can't try to convince you, but if you truly think your weight or health is an issue, eating less is definitely not the way to do it. Eat plenty of fresh fruit and veg. I find the easiest way to do it is to make smoothies. I feel lazy eating food but drinking just feels different. I understand you said prior that sometimes you don't have the energy to do exercise, and that's okay! 1 push up is better than 0 push ups! Every time you do more than your past self, you are taking another step towards your future, and I love you for doing that.

I know you can do it!

Thanks, I like the idea of smoothies, I'm going to try that.

My mum keeps telling my bust/chest is too big and it shouldn’t be. I told her I can’t control that, but she said you can. Is it possible to do that? I don’t even know if it is too big.

For once in a long time, I felt happy about myself this morning, and I had an argument with my mum, and every positive thing I thought went down the drain. I keep feeling that whenever I’m around my parents, my self esteem just lowers drastically. I don’t like it. No matter what I do, it’s not good enough.

33/35 in science isn’t good enough because someone got 34.5/35. I just feel stupid and like a waste of oxygen and space. I wish I could get away from everything from r a while, but I can’t.

Originally Posted by Ilove318

Thanks for the suggestions, but my depression make me so tired all the time. I tried to exercise, but I just can’t. I used to do the treadmill for fat burn but then I slipped and fell and grazed myself really badly. So...

Does what I’m doing classify as an eating disorder?

yes, and you being tired isn't because of your depression...it's because you don't eat.

Food is not your enemy. Food is what gives your body the necessary energy and nutrients to survive.

You're rip get, but I can't bring myself to eat. I feel proud when I don't. I don't know why! But when I eat I feel guilty. Why?

My mum saw the stretch marks on my hips and she wanted to show my dad. I ran away from her, because I felt so ashamed. I look disgusting. This is why I don't like to eat. Most times I eat one serve and no more, only if the food is good I will eat more. But when no one is there, I skip meals.

Because you have a sickness. Your mind plays games on you. You feel proud when you don't eat because you feel like you have control, and when you eat you feel guilty because you feel like the food is controlling you. Your whole mindset is assbackwards.

Stretch marks aren't always an indicator of being fat or gaining weight. You're 13 and 5'7'' (or 174 cm like you said)... you're growing taller. Plus you said the stretch marks wer eon your hip, I'm pretty sure that's also because you are growing and maturing, and not getting fatter. Your body is going to go through alot of changes and sometimes that can mean gaining and shedding a few pounds here and there...that is no reason to freak out. Your BMI is in the normal healthy range, so I don't see any reason why people should be calling you fat or that you should be treating food like its bad for you.

As far as your family goes, you need to stand up to them and TELL them to stop making your weight such an issue. Get angry, get mean. Let them know you don't like it and it's hurting you and causing you to have unhealthy eating habits. Secondly, I would recommend seeing a doctor or counselor of some kind, someone you can talk to. Someone who can provide you with guidance and ideas for healthy eating and exercise (the best way to control your weight) and not skipping meals and starving yourself.

Thanks. I am going to stand up to them.

I wanted to see a counsellor, but I cant contact any at my school (I've tried heaps of times) and I'm too scared to ask my parents. They will think they are doing something wrong or that I'm seeking attention. I'm sorry if it seems like I don't want to get help, but I'm just too scared. I sound so stupid.

You need to get over being scared. There are people out there who want to help you. It shouldn't be that hard to just go to the admin office at your school and just make an appointment with someone.

I feel so stupid. I tried, but my school is weird. It doesn't work like that there.

so go seek help elsewhere, there are other health professionals out there besides at your school.

Okay, I will see if I can find some help elsewhere.

Youre definitely not fat! Its probably because you are really tall, your weight has to increase to keep you at a healthy bmi. If you are really tall and weigh very little, you'll probably be underweight and that wouldnt be good. The important thing here is that you are healthy and continue to stay that way!

Thanks. I really feel bad these days, because I keep eating carbs and not enough of everything else... I guess I will exercise when I get home. Thanks again...

It's always ok to make good dietary choices as far as balance, but dont let body image pressure you into making unhealthy decisions that could stunt your growth or cause other problems like fasting