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Old October 18th, 2018, 09:03 AM   #1
coolmatt
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Default Im worried about my gf

Ive been with my gf for 3 months and all the time she talks about hating her body. I try to tell her she looks amazing and beutiful as much as I cam but she doesnt believe me. I noticed lately she's not eating alot. We have lunch together at school everyday and in the last week or two she's barely eaten anything. I'm worried that she might be getting a eating disorder. How can I help her?

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Old October 18th, 2018, 09:33 AM   #2
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Ive been with my gf for 3 months and all the time she talks about hating her body. I try to tell her she looks amazing and beutiful as much as I cam but she doesnt believe me. I noticed lately she's not eating alot. We have lunch together at school everyday and in the last week or two she's barely eaten anything. I'm worried that she might be getting a eating disorder. How can I help her?
I think your best bet is to talk to a school counselor because it looks like your girlfriend might have professional issues.

As for what you can do, just reassure her that she is fine while doing things that you both enjoy. The reality is that there is only so much you can do, and your girlfriend will need to take the initiative to get professional help if she hate her body that much because it will take therapy to get all right.

Last edited by Second Chance; October 19th, 2018 at 01:06 AM.
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Old October 18th, 2018, 10:20 AM   #3
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I think your best bet is to talk to a school counselor because it looks like your girlfriend might have professional issues.
That makes me nervous. I dont wantbher to get mad at me for trying to help her but I know she needs help.

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Old October 18th, 2018, 10:51 AM   #4
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That makes me nervous. I dont wantbher to get mad at me for trying to help her but I know she needs help.
There is always a chance she might get mad at you, but what is the sense of her being not angry at you and hurting on the inside? It is far easier to get help now when she is at the beginning of her problem than to wait until she is much older and will have a hard time getting out of a bad situation. If you care about her, then it is best to get her help even if she is angry so that she will be safe.
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Old October 18th, 2018, 10:59 AM   #5
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There is always a chance she might get mad at you, but what is the sense of her being not angry at you and hurting on the inside? It is far easier to get help now when she is at the beginning of her problem than to wait until she is much older and will have a hard time getting out of a bad situation. If you care about her, then it is best to get her help even if she is angry so that she will be safe.
I know youre right but its hard to do it. Im gonna talk to her first and if she denies it or lies or tries to say that its only for now then I will tell someone

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Old October 18th, 2018, 11:08 AM   #6
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I know youre right but its hard to do it. Im gonna talk to her first and if she denies it or lies or tries to say that its only for now then I will tell someone
A lot of times when people are in trouble they will deny it and try to make things look all right when they are not. They do not want to look weak or "less than" out of fear that others will think less of them.

I would make it clear to her that if she goes for help that you will go with her and that you will stand by her. Be honest with her as you have been with us, and make it clear to her that getting help does not make a person a "psycho" or somehow insane. Just tell her that you know that she is not in a safe position and that it is far better to talk to someone responsible so that she is safe. You have to understand that girls who starve themselves and do not eat now get all sorts of health problems later which I am sure you do not want to see happen to your girlfriend. Puberty is the last growth phase for people which is why she needs to eat rightly and have adequete nutrition.

Over the long-term, if your girlfriend does not want to get help but continue to behave in a way that is problematic, then you have to look at your overall relationship with her. There was some other thread on here not too long ago made by someone who has been friends with someone for a long time, but that person would not get help despite his problems being obvious. The group of friends had their arms up in frustration on what to do. I am not saying you should dump your girlfriend because of her problem, but she has to accept she has one rather than trying seek sympathy but do nothing to solve the underlying issues.
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Old October 18th, 2018, 11:12 AM   #7
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A lot of times when people are in trouble they will deny it and try to make things look all right when they are not. They do not want to look weak or "less than" out of fear that others will think less of them.

I would make it clear to her that if she goes for help that you will go with her and that you will stand by her. Be honest with her as you have been with us, and make it clear to her that getting help does not make a person a "psycho" or somehow insane. Just tell her that you know that she is not in a safe position and that it is far better to talk to someone responsible so that she is safe. You have to understand that girls who starve themselves and do not eat now get all sorts of health problems later which I am sure you do not want to see happen to your girlfriend. Puberty is the last growth phase for people which is why she needs to eat rightly and have adequete nutrition.

Over the long-term, if your girlfriend does not want to get help but continue to behave in a way that is problematic, then you have to look at your overall relationship with her. There was some other thread on here not too long ago made by someone who has been friends with someone for a long time, but that person would not get help despite his problems being obvious. The group of friends had their arms up in frustration on what to do. I am not saying you should dump your girlfriend because of her problem, but she has to accept she has one rather than trying seek sympathy but do nothing to solve the underlying issues.
I think i get what you're saying. I will talk to her at lunch and be honest with her. I'll tell her I'm willing to be next to her through it all if she needs me to be. I love her and I just want to make sure shes ok.

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Old October 18th, 2018, 11:15 AM   #8
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I think i get what you're saying. I will talk to her at lunch and be honest with her. I'll tell her I'm willing to be next to her through it all if she needs me to be. I love her and I just want to make sure shes ok.
What you have said hits the nail on the head, and I think your wording is perfect!

Personally, I would not have this conversation at school, but you should wait until you are in a private setting outside of school. This is the kind of conversation that will take time, and you cannot have it during a 30 minute lunch period.

Also, you really should talk with her parents, too, before bringing this up with her. All of you should work as a team to help your girlfriend otherwise it will be hard if it is just you. Assuming her parents are sane people, then you need the adults' help. You should also talk to your parents to see if they can talk to your girlfriend because having people who are adults but are not parents can make a difference when talking to a person.
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Old October 18th, 2018, 11:19 AM   #9
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What you have said hits the nail on the head, and I think your wording is perfect!

Personally, I would not have this conversation at school, but you should wait until you are in a private setting outside of school. This is the kind of conversation that will take time, and you cannot have it during a 30 minute lunch period.

Also, you really should talk with her parents, too, before bringing this up with her. All of you should work as a team to help your girlfriend otherwise it will be hard if it is just you. Assuming her parents are sane people, then you need the adults' help. You should also talk to your parents to see if they can talk to your girlfriend because having people who are adults but are not parents can make a difference when talking to a person.
Thanks. I'm going to her house this weekend to hang out so maybe that would be a good time to talk to her parents. I Will figure it out. But ya thanks for helping me work this out

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Old October 18th, 2018, 11:27 AM   #10
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Thanks. I'm going to her house this weekend to hang out so maybe that would be a good time to talk to her parents. I Will figure it out. But ya thanks for helping me work this out
That is the way to go talking with her over the weekend so that you have enough and more time to work things out.

People you should get involved in this process include: her parent(s), your parent(s), your Sister, and friends who are supportive. You should not try to handle things on your own.

Is there a chance your girlfriend can get upset and defensive? Yes. However, if you do nothing, then she will certainly get worse than she is now. Whenever there is a mental health issue, then you have to get on it and handle it. However, always be prepared she will be in denial and that she could act out. It is far better that she gets upset now because, trust me, later on she will thank you for caring to get her help.
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Old October 19th, 2018, 08:17 PM   #11
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Default Re: Im worried about my gf

Personally I don't think going straight to the guidance counselor right away is the best thing to do.. yet. Maybe that'll become necessary at some point, but I'd try to reason w her, find out exactly what is going on (maybe she's eating at home or whatever) etc before potentially embarrassing her. If she rly is hurting herself then yeah somebody needs to know, and obv if u really care about her then u would sacrifice ur relationship w her for her well being, but I just don't think going straight to the counselor is a good idea (like I said, yet).
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