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Old May 7th, 2013, 05:16 AM   #1
Hunter_Steel's Forum Picture
Name: Erich Julius
Join Date: November 29, 2012
Location: South Africa
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Am I a Schizophrenzic or am I just weird?

Okay, for about 4 years now I have noticed that since the end of 2008, my life fell apart. I at some points barely shower for like 2 to 3 weeks on end, sometimes I shower for a whole two months and then go back to a period of uncleanliness. I have a strange habit of shouting in severe anger even when slightly annoyed, and I seem to have episodes where it feels like there are two people inside me, instead of just me in my own head.

I often have huge arguments with this other personality of mine, and sometimes it ends up being noticed by others, I usually stay in one position behind my laptop for the entire day, not saying a word. Even when it comes to the normal chitchat I barely say anything. I also noticed that I am good at making friends, like really good. But keeping them is another story. Every friend I ever had ended up hating me, alienating me, or just stopped talking to me. My relationships end the same way aswell (currently might be reaching the end of my current and second relationship).

I don't know what to do with myself, and I alienated myself from my family and just want to keep to myself and not even be social. I am annoyed when I have to go with my brother to his friends, and everytime they want to socialize and I want nothing of it. I've gone out of shape because of this and am generally a not-so-likeable person. The only thing I am doing now to keep me sane is by looking to the future, but that is all. There's nothing else holding me from losing my freaking mind. And I don't know what to make of this.

I have told my mother about this, saying I need to see a Shrink. But she refused to take me to a shrink, saying I am only in a phase and that we don't have the money to pay for a Shrink. (No, South Africa doesn't have social services for white people.)

Any help would be appreciated!


I'm 17, Bi, Reformed Christian, mostly open minded and a friendly guy.
I am the Iron Wall. A man who's made of indestructible steel. Protecting those who I love from all danger, and preventing the advances of evil. I am the Iron Wall. An indestructible wall protecting the forces of good and stopping the forces of evil.
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