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Old November 15th, 2018, 10:00 PM   #1
Ouragan
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Question Wired situation with a girl

Hello, sorry to bother you, but there is this wired situation with a girl and I'd like to ask for your opinion/advice...
So I knew she went to my highschool but changed highschool, but I didn't remember her. She started following me around 2 month ago on Instagram, I followed her back. She looks really nice and I dont, And one day, she posted some thing like she was depressed and wanted to kill herself... So I texted her and I was like many people love you and all the usual. She answered me and it appeared I messed up her name... She told me she cutted, I asked her to stay safe and all that. Then she asked for my number. We chatted for a bit, she asked me if she hasn't seen me before and we found out that we were in the same class back in 9th grade (I'm 11 right now). She told me she used to have a crush on me, and I remember I found her cute (I also told that to her), and she said she was too shy or something, I don't know if she was for real or not cause I know I'm pretty hateable... A bit later she openly said that she was single and asked me if I liked anyone, I responded that I had a few crushes now and then. I don't remember why but I sent her a pic of me because she didn't wanna believe me when I said I was ugly, and she said I was "adorable"... She told me about what was depressing her but she tried to help me with my self esteem issue, which is really nice even though she is the one who wanted to kill herself... I recently asked her what she was doing for Thanksgiving break and she answered "nothing, why ?"... It seemed like she was waiting for me to ask her to hangout, but im pretty sure I'm wrong...

So I really appreciate her company and I'd really love to go out with her, and seemed like she was into me, but I know it might (probably) be me...
So what do you think, should I ask her out or should I wait to know her better ? If yes, what should I ask ? The thing is I would really like to stay friends with her cause she's nice to me...

Thanks you all very much

Ps I have so idea what should the title be also, its been literally 2 days that we've been chatting, even though I knew her before...

Last edited by Ouragan; November 15th, 2018 at 11:01 PM.
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Old November 15th, 2018, 11:27 PM   #2
Shiny Moon
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Default Re: Wired situation with a girl

Ask her out but as friends first, and do friends stuff. Get to know her better in person first. Once you're sure you like her and you know her a bit more you could ask her out on a date

It's important that you actually have some face-to-face conversation before asking her out on a date, so friendship first and romance later.




If I were you, I'd do me too

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Old November 15th, 2018, 11:37 PM   #3
Ouragan
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Default Re: Wired situation with a girl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiny Moon View Post
Ask her out but as friends first, and do friends stuff. Get to know her better in person first. Once you're sure you like her and you know her a bit more you could ask her out on a date

It's important that you actually have some face-to-face conversation before asking her out on a date, so friendship first and romance later.
Yeah you're right, i was stupid to think we could be more than friends
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Old November 15th, 2018, 11:40 PM   #4
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Default Re: Wired situation with a girl

It's not stupid, just don't rush it.




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Drop me a PM if you wanna chat, I don't bite!
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Old November 28th, 2018, 09:41 AM   #5
Ashley2004
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Default Re: Wired situation with a girl

I think it's better to get to know someone in a group setting so there's no pressure and you both feel comfortable but then ask her out directly. Being ambiguous just makes things worse.
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Old November 28th, 2018, 05:18 PM   #6
Second Chance
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Default Re: Wired situation with a girl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ouragan View Post
Hello, sorry to bother you, but there is this wired situation with a girl and I'd like to ask for your opinion/advice...
So I knew she went to my highschool but changed highschool, but I didn't remember her. She started following me around 2 month ago on Instagram, I followed her back. She looks really nice and I dont, And one day, she posted some thing like she was depressed and wanted to kill herself... So I texted her and I was like many people love you and all the usual. She answered me and it appeared I messed up her name... She told me she cutted, I asked her to stay safe and all that. Then she asked for my number. We chatted for a bit, she asked me if she hasn't seen me before and we found out that we were in the same class back in 9th grade (I'm 11 right now). She told me she used to have a crush on me, and I remember I found her cute (I also told that to her), and she said she was too shy or something, I don't know if she was for real or not cause I know I'm pretty hateable... A bit later she openly said that she was single and asked me if I liked anyone, I responded that I had a few crushes now and then. I don't remember why but I sent her a pic of me because she didn't wanna believe me when I said I was ugly, and she said I was "adorable"... She told me about what was depressing her but she tried to help me with my self esteem issue, which is really nice even though she is the one who wanted to kill herself... I recently asked her what she was doing for Thanksgiving break and she answered "nothing, why ?"... It seemed like she was waiting for me to ask her to hangout, but im pretty sure I'm wrong...

So I really appreciate her company and I'd really love to go out with her, and seemed like she was into me, but I know it might (probably) be me...
So what do you think, should I ask her out or should I wait to know her better ? If yes, what should I ask ? The thing is I would really like to stay friends with her cause she's nice to me...

Thanks you all very much

Ps I have so idea what should the title be also, its been literally 2 days that we've been chatting, even though I knew her before...
I totally agree with the others that you should get to know the girl firstly and see if you both have anything in common and if you both can be friends. If you both can be good friends, then you can take things to the next level.

My only concern is that this person is not totally stable, and she went from a situation where she wanted to kill herself to now wanting to date you. Just make sure she is stable enough to date someone and that she will not get overwhelmed being in a relationship.
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Old December 4th, 2018, 07:10 AM   #7
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Default Re: Wired situation with a girl

Go slow. This is an emotionally volatile situation and becomes the foundation of clinginess.

Say you both rush into a relationship, if the stability of that relationship is the foundation to one’s self-esteem and is a reason why something like a suicide was delayed or deterred, if that relationship fails, the emotional-dam could burst, and then everyone guilt trips themselves mixed in with mourning the person.


A mutual friend of mine, and his girlfriend, did take his life after they went through a breakup and it made everyone’s life miserable and my remaining friend had to attend counseling because she felt the breakup triggered her ex.



But don’t give up on developing relationships. Nothing is absolute in life you have to chase opportunities and nurture those opportunities that you have seized already.
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Old December 5th, 2018, 05:26 PM   #8
Adamant
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Default Re: Wired situation with a girl

Just want to say Good luck.
Its great to have a friend to hang out with. Thats a great start. No need to rush things
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