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Old June 26th, 2008, 11:58 AM   #1
Adam88
Junior Member
 
Join Date: July 6, 2007
Location: New York
Gender: Male
Default Enough

ok, I am sure some of you are tired of me complaining, but I simply feel that I have no control over my anger, and feel like at times I am becoming mentally unstable. You see to tell you all why I feel the way that I do, I suppose because its a mixture of build up of life events that make me crazy.

You see I live in a family where besides my mother, everyone is greedy and undependable on. I never lived with my farther, but that never barthered me, because he loved. Now I hate him. He sixty years old now, he has became a miserable person, who does for others before his own family. Theres times where I would go to sleep hungry because he would not give the family money. I now work in his restaurant, where he supports the other employees better than me. One time I had a fight with a low life waitress, and he started yelling at me, and took her side. He over works me, and through all my 20 years of living, we only went on vacation ounce. I have never went beyond my New York city life, and lived.

I was born to a Puerto Rican mother, and an Egyptian farther. Its his fault tat he never taught me a single word in Arabic, and all my lie his Egyptian friends would would put me down, and ridicule me because I was an outsider, who did not speak their language and he would allow it. I don't speak Spanish, eaither, but thats not my moms fault, because her farther left her wen she was 3 and her mother is white. So I basically lived my life, not fitting in. The whites would hate me, because they knew I was different. You see I keep my mothers last name which is Vega, and even the teachers would treat me like I was some "low life Hispanic". The blacks hated me, Because I was a looked like a "white boy" to pick on, and the Arabs and Hispanics did not accept me because I did not speak their languages. So basically I developed anger towards everyone in society, and i can't even get comfort from my own family.

I am the youngest employee in my dads restaurant, and all I do is fight with sick low life customers and employees. All I have is college, and am scared my financial won't pay, because my dad has money up the ass, but he never helped us with everything. I was never a spoiled child, and worked for everything I have. But I feel like I am getting no break in life, and I am tired of watching others get it. I am tired of my employees and my jerk farther taking advantage of me, and my family doing for others before they help eachother (except my mother). Even when I was little, and used to be overweight, my dad would barther me about it, and I feel that I am on the verge of hurting him physically. I do my best to cope with the world, but the world won't leave me alone.

Comedian George Lopez made a joke one time by saying "when my grand mother took me to Disney Land, she said get a good look because this is the first and last time your gonna see it"
Well guess what, I never seen it ounce, and I am tired of this same routine f a life I have. Its hard to be grateful, and I am always angry. Please help!

-Adam
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Old June 26th, 2008, 11:17 PM   #2
IAMSAM
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Name: Sam!
Join Date: July 14, 2007
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: Enough

Hey Adam, it's great that you're 20 and in college, all this is nearly over! Rejoice.

Seriosuly, make plans, keep in mind that whoever your dad is and whatever his faults are, it's really temporary. It's the home stretch, the top of the ninth.

pt's easier to put uo with unfairness if you gain a good/different perspective on it. And in your case, that means that the insults you've been forced to endure are almost over, soon you'll be on your own, doing something else with tour life, and with better people. Hang on to that, and make plans for that eventaulity.

Anything can really be coped with when we see it as temporary, stay focuse don the short term nature of it all.
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Old June 27th, 2008, 04:45 PM   #3
Adam88
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Join Date: July 6, 2007
Location: New York
Gender: Male
Default Re: Enough

Thanks I appreciate that I suppose all I ever wanted was just to know that I'll be "somebody" one day. And sometimes I never have the confidence to know that I will make it. Thanks a lot.
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