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Old February 16th, 2012, 07:33 PM   #1
love is louder
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Default is it normal to feel like this?

excuse me for being very scattered (medication) hopefully ill still make sense,

ok so, me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and a half now. i am 20 and he is 23 so i say we are fairly grown up. we dont really have ups and downs but were had a few downs that have been major. basically due to my own personal issues. i am currently in the midst of being diagnosed with bipolar and i self harm and i also have issues with food and lots of other stuff. he had mainly been really supportive with this stuff but anyway to the actually question at hand.

ok so somedays i can be completely in love with this guy and think we could actually go somewhere with this relationship ie in the far far future we could move in together, get a dog and maybe have a couple of kids and this idea will sound really super great and we would live happily ever after.

and then the next day be like

omg i am only 20 and i have settled in to a relationship with this guy and i havent slept with many people. what if this is it for the rest of my life. what if i settle down at 20 with a him and dont have the chance for the rest of my life to explore the world and other people and how do i know that this is what i want for the rest of my life if i havent tried living any other way?

does anyone else feel like this about there girlfriend/boyfriend or is it just something that i should put down to my crazy behaviour? i guess what i am trying to ask is...... Is it normal for me to feel this way about my otherwise awsome boyfriend?



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Old February 16th, 2012, 09:38 PM   #2
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Default Re: is it normal to feel like this?

Nah, that's a completely normal feeling, such anxiety.

I've had my fair share of relationship issues. Been there, done that really. But I've definitely felt this way before. I've rushed into relationships and felt this way and I've even felt this way with someone I've been with for a long time. Now however, I feel like I should just... well, not settle down yet, but I mean, stick it out for a while, let the waves take me wherever they think I should go.

The trouble is figuring out which one is the phase though, and which is what you truly feel. You could look deep inside yourself for the answer or leave it alone and just see what comes of it. Whatever happens, happens. But you could actively analyse this. Like you do with bipolar disorder, try to track these feelings. When do you feel like he's your one and only and when do you strive to "taste other fruits" so to speak? Do you notice a pattern? Anything specific happen when those feelings change? Which one do you feel more often?

I find that you shouldn't dwell too much on the future. It may be nice to think about the details but I find especially when you're young these things can both excite you and scare the shit out of you. I used to do the same thing. Now I only really think about it when my significant other brings up the topic, or if there's a serious decision involved in it that needs to be sorted. I think it's partially about growing up but also just a very typical thing for anyone.


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And I'm sorry I had the whole thing wrong. Well, I guess I'm the sorriest of all.
And I'm sorry that you are feeling small. And I'm sorry that I'm not used to crawling.
And I'm sorry the writing's on the wall. Well, I guess I'm the sorriest of all.
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Old February 17th, 2012, 08:27 AM   #3
love is louder
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Default Re: is it normal to feel like this?

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Originally Posted by Syvelocin View Post
But you could actively analyse this. Like you do with bipolar disorder, try to track these feelings. When do you feel like he's your one and only and when do you strive to "taste other fruits" so to speak? Do you notice a pattern? Anything specific happen when those feelings change? Which one do you feel more often?
i think this would be a very good idea! i already track so much of my life i dont know why i didnt think of it.
i have never thought of bringing it up with him because i just thought it was part of me being crazy. maybe sometimes he feels the same.
i worry a great deal about the future and this is what gets me chewed up. but when its just me and him in the present its really good. maybe i should just live in the moment and see where life takes me.
thanks for the reply.



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Old February 17th, 2012, 08:30 AM   #4
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Default Re: is it normal to feel like this?

I know I'm a bit late, but there really isn't anything to worry about. Go with the flow, and if it doesn't work out I'm sure you can find someone just as good or even better than your awesome current boyfriend.
You're a great person and a beautiful girl. If he's not "the one," you'll find somebody.

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Old February 17th, 2012, 08:44 AM   #5
love is louder
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Default Re: is it normal to feel like this?

its never too late. thank you very much
im feeling much better about it all today.



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Old February 17th, 2012, 11:44 AM   #6
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Default Re: is it normal to feel like this?

I get the feeling sometimes to, Since we and my GF have had some problems, But really i would spend my life with her and i do love her a lot, Now she says the same things but than again dont know if she really means it.(problems.)
Now i might say that, Does not mean it will happen. But i sure hope it does because we are really good together and i really think she is the best.

New to the site, just looking for a place to talk.
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Old February 17th, 2012, 11:54 AM   #7
love is louder
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Default Re: is it normal to feel like this?

if shes saying it its probably because she means it, or am i missing the point....



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