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Old February 5th, 2019, 05:40 AM   #1
Keenan.
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Default how to help my friend...

my friend's sister tried to commit suicide today (second time in 2 weeks) and I'm not sure how to support him, and what to do since he really only talks to me. What should I say to him? What do I say? Do? Think? I want to be supportive as he confines in me but I don't know anything about self-harm

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Old February 5th, 2019, 07:57 AM   #2
Lexi_02
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Default Re: how to help my friend...

I would tell him you’re there for him for whatever he needs and let him come to you when he’s ready. Sometimes it’s easier not to talk about stuff right away.
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Old February 5th, 2019, 06:01 PM   #3
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Default Re: how to help my friend...

Let him know you're there for him in any way he needs you.

I've found it helpful to ask the person what they need from a friend, how you can help him.

Some people want to talk about it. Some people def don't want to talk about it. Some people want to be around others and some want to be alone.

If he wants to be alone, ask him if he'd like you to check in with him.

Don't expect you can change the way he feels or that you can make things better for him. Just be there in whatever way he'd like you to be there.
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Old February 14th, 2019, 03:50 PM   #4
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Default Re: how to help my friend...

People don't change... He did it twice already, he will try it in future again and no matter what you say to him. These people are bombs with time mechanism, all you can do is try to cut some wires to back the x day, but it will come anyway... If you want to help him, let him go...
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Old February 14th, 2019, 06:29 PM   #5
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Default Re: how to help my friend...

You have to tell her you are always there to listen to her. Sometimes just sitting there and lending an ear or a shoulder to cry on is the best thing you can offer.
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Old February 14th, 2019, 10:45 PM   #6
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Default Re: how to help my friend...

I think also your friend would need to see a shrink in order to talk about it. Or maybe go to a meeting in whichpeople talk about experiences. It's not easy when you feel very bad. When you're a suicidal person, you don't want to talk about it, yes. You prefer to isolate yourself from the rest of the friends, family. You put a negative pin on things, you see everything in black. You can only support him indeed but i think your friend need help. It's serious at this stage. What do his parents think about it?

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Old March 14th, 2019, 09:37 PM   #7
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Default Re: how to help my friend...

Try to be supportive and talk about all the fun things you could do in life. And tell her that you are always there if she ever needs help.

Also, what does her parents think?

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Old March 15th, 2019, 06:28 AM   #8
antandlope
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Default Re: how to help my friend...

Hey mate!

It’s definitely a really difficult situation to handle - and I’ve also been in your position before. Here’s some things that might help (not all of them may be useful in your situation, but definitely keep the following in mind):

- you can take him out (Maybe after school/weekend) to chat about what’s been going on. It’s usually helpful for them to “leave” their situation, be somewhere different and be able to clear their head.
- you can, when it’s appropriate, literally ask him what you can do to help (what he would like you to do to support him during this time)
- go see the school councillor about it together (as long as he’s comfortable with this - usually they can give pretty good advice)
- if his parents don’t know, encourage him to speak to his parents about it (privately) and see what solutions come out of it


Most importantly, look after yourself. I totally understand that you want to help him through this time, but it’s also important to have an “out” for all the things you’re taking on. Maybe that’s talking to your councillor about it or someone else you trust

Hope this helps
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