Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old September 4th, 2008, 05:37 PM   #801
Brazdar
Member
 
Join Date: November 25, 2007
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Brazdar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 4th, 2008, 06:04 PM   #802
Sugaree
Friend of the Devil
 
Sugaree's Forum Picture
 
Name: Matty
Join Date: August 1, 2007
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

What the one thing that Sarah Palin does which doesn't maker her relate to a Pit Bull?

She puts on lipstick.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brighter.Tomorrow View Post
Hello again VirtualTeen. you blackhole.

No tears to cry
No feelings left
This species has
Amused itself to death
Last.FM
Sugaree is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 4th, 2008, 10:03 PM   #803
The Batman
Banned
 
Name: Thomdam
Join Date: November 13, 2007
Location: Missouri
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 19
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Yea charlie not your best one.

GOOGLE OF THE FUTURE
The Batman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 5th, 2008, 12:32 AM   #804
Mzor203
VT Lover
 
Name: Rex
Join Date: February 28, 2008
Location: Canada
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Lol, I want that. Minus the porn button.

<_<

>_>
Mzor203 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 5th, 2008, 12:38 AM   #805
The Batman
Banned
 
Name: Thomdam
Join Date: November 13, 2007
Location: Missouri
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 19
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Life is Gamble, Life is Game.

2 Mins of Pleasure, 9 Months of pain.

The boy does the f**king, the Girl gets the blame.

Quick 2 the Hospital, the baby needs a name.

The Father is a Bastard, the Mother is a whore.

All these happen because the condom tore.
The Batman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 5th, 2008, 03:10 PM   #806
BeautifulSilence
The M.I.L.F
 
BeautifulSilence's Forum Picture
 
Name: The Laura
Join Date: April 22, 2008
Location: The UK
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

*Claps* I love them sortsa rhymes

~Laura was here~
Bethlouise <3
Savour the moment
Delay the consequences
Thomas' non-biological baby was born 15.01.2011
BeautifulSilence is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 7th, 2008, 09:38 AM   #807
Random_oso06
Awesome Poster
 
Join Date: January 20, 2008
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 14
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

it may be funny to some people but i call it a miracle i copied it from my diary because it's morning and i'm lazy (scratch back) =P

wow i came back from my cousin's party it was fun my friend was there he told me what happen to him and his dad yesterday it was funny and quite weird so my friend's dad works in the border patrol and he was coming home late and my friend was stay with his mom at the time and he went to pick him up and take him home then they saw this hitch hiker and picked them up stupid right will he was caring a bag and didn't let my friend aj and his dad see what's inside then the man wen to use the phone and aj's dad saw a poster of wanted people and the guy they picked up was in it he didn't tell aj because we would of panicked and before the could leave the guy behind he came back to the car so they stopped at the gas station and aj's dad told the guy that he needs gas then gave the guy 20 bucks and told him to get gas and when the guy left they left fast and aj told him why did we leave him then he freaked out and said why didn't you call 911 and he said they didn't have to because there was a police car on the other side of the store so i was like what the hell and they did call 911 later to make sure that the cop found him and there going to be in the local news on tv

"When Life gives you lemons make grape juice then sit down and let the world wonder how you did it" [/FONT][/SIZE][/CENTER]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiros View Post
I'm a pretty girl...
Have any questions come ask me
Random_oso06 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 8th, 2008, 12:57 PM   #808
The Batman
Banned
 
Name: Thomdam
Join Date: November 13, 2007
Location: Missouri
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 19
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A man walks into a bar and finds a jar full of money on the counter. He asks the bartender what it's for.

The bartender replies, "Every night we have a contest that you have to complete three tasks to win all the money in the jar."

The man asks, "What are the tasks?"

"First, you have to go over to Jimmy the bouncer and knock him out with one hit.

Then, well, there's a pitbull out back and you have to pull its blunt tooth out.

Finally, the bosses wife is up stairs and you have to go pleasure her, but you have to put down ten dollars to play." said the bartender.

"Damn." says the man.

Later that night, after several drinks, the man smacks down a ten dollar bill and says, "I'm in."

He walks over to the bouncer and swings. One hit he's out cold.

The man falls flat on his face also, but gets up and walks out back.

All you hear is the dog howling.

Then the man steps back in, goes over to the bartender and asks, "Now where's that lady with the blunt tooth."
The Batman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 8th, 2008, 05:03 PM   #809
BeautifulSilence
The M.I.L.F
 
BeautifulSilence's Forum Picture
 
Name: The Laura
Join Date: April 22, 2008
Location: The UK
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

^^^

I think I've heard that one before, but I still laughed.

~Laura was here~
Bethlouise <3
Savour the moment
Delay the consequences
Thomas' non-biological baby was born 15.01.2011
BeautifulSilence is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 17th, 2008, 02:44 PM   #810
The Batman
Banned
 
Name: Thomdam
Join Date: November 13, 2007
Location: Missouri
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 19
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. "Guaranteed like heck," he thinks to himself. "But lets see what they think they can do." He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program.
The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, "I like the way this company does business." For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weigh himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds.
Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might be like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days... For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds.
I love this company, he thinks to himself, "I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun." Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company's 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. "Are you sure, sir?" Asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most vigorous program." "Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. Haven't felt this good in years!"
The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If I can catch you, I can have you."
The Batman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 17th, 2008, 03:58 PM   #811
Mzor203
VT Lover
 
Name: Rex
Join Date: February 28, 2008
Location: Canada
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Lol, that's hilarious.
Mzor203 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2008, 06:23 PM   #812
The Batman
Banned
 
Name: Thomdam
Join Date: November 13, 2007
Location: Missouri
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 19
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
on my desk... sorry ........
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ..
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says
'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front
of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter
V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you
please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4
hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it.
The Batman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2008, 07:47 PM   #813
BeautifulSilence
The M.I.L.F
 
BeautifulSilence's Forum Picture
 
Name: The Laura
Join Date: April 22, 2008
Location: The UK
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

All funny!
"Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?"
Giggled out loud at that one

~Laura was here~
Bethlouise <3
Savour the moment
Delay the consequences
Thomas' non-biological baby was born 15.01.2011
BeautifulSilence is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2008, 07:48 PM   #814
Gumleaf
Former Whatever
 
Gumleaf's Forum Picture
 
Name: Stephen
Join Date: February 17, 2007
Location: Sydney
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 75
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

those are fantastic thomas. even computer illiterate me could understand all of those lol.

stephen

Always Hawthorn

Hawthorn Football Club

Strong As One

~Laura was here~
~Jessi should have been here~
Gumleaf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2008, 07:54 PM   #815
The Batman
Banned
 
Name: Thomdam
Join Date: November 13, 2007
Location: Missouri
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 19
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist kissed the girl )
GIRL: ......Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl )
GIRL: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!
The Batman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2008, 07:55 PM   #816
ShatteredWings
Under the Stars
 
ShatteredWings's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kyle
Join Date: October 18, 2007
Location: down the rabbit hole
Age: 23
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

lmao
that's sicccck. but funny

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapphire_Flames View Post
VT turned me lesbo acid wankers wtf.
~Laura Was Here~
Retired Gmod
ShatteredWings is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2008, 07:59 PM   #817
BeautifulSilence
The M.I.L.F
 
BeautifulSilence's Forum Picture
 
Name: The Laura
Join Date: April 22, 2008
Location: The UK
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles


~Laura was here~
Bethlouise <3
Savour the moment
Delay the consequences
Thomas' non-biological baby was born 15.01.2011
BeautifulSilence is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2008, 08:15 PM   #818
Gumleaf
Former Whatever
 
Gumleaf's Forum Picture
 
Name: Stephen
Join Date: February 17, 2007
Location: Sydney
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 75
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

thats bad thomas, but i still laughed.

stephen

Always Hawthorn

Hawthorn Football Club

Strong As One

~Laura was here~
~Jessi should have been here~
Gumleaf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2008, 08:19 PM   #819
The Batman
Banned
 
Name: Thomdam
Join Date: November 13, 2007
Location: Missouri
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 19
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

The girl admitted under parental questioning that she was pregnant, but couldn’t say who was responsible.

“All right!” bellowed her Mother, “you march yourself to your room, and don’t come out until you can give us a definite answer.”

Later that nite her voice rang down the stairs. “Hey Mom, I think I have an idea now.”

“I should hope so!” the Mother responded. “The very idea that any daughter of mine could get pregnant, let alone not know the father.”

“Chill Mom.” the girl said. “I got it narrowed down to the band or the football team!”
The Batman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 19th, 2008, 08:22 PM   #820
Gumleaf
Former Whatever
 
Gumleaf's Forum Picture
 
Name: Stephen
Join Date: February 17, 2007
Location: Sydney
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 75
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

hahaha i like that one thomes.

stephen

Always Hawthorn

Hawthorn Football Club

Strong As One

~Laura was here~
~Jessi should have been here~
Gumleaf is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:46 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org