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Old March 16th, 2019, 07:44 AM   #1
Sammy_03
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Join Date: January 24, 2018
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Default Crushes

Well as the title suggests, I’ve got a crush on my one of my best friend’s boyfriend. I’m pretty sure he’s straight, and either way, going there in any sense is definitely not an option. But I’ve recently realised I’ve got a crush on him.

I’m openly gay at school and he definitely knows this, and is supportive, from what I know about it. But either way, he is one of my best friends boyfriend, and I’m really close to her and never keep secrets from her. Now, I feel like a dick and I can’t really talk to anyone about it,

I was wondering if anyone had any advice or suggestions for what I should do or how to deal with the feelings, because anything is better than over-thinking it over and over in my head, like I’m doing now.

15 - Bi - Guy -
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Old March 16th, 2019, 08:37 AM   #2
ska8er
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Default Re: Crushes

I suggest that u do Not come between u
and ur best friends boyfriend cause u just
might end up losing both. Crushes r hard
to deal with especially when the ones that
u r crushing on do not have the same ideas
that u have. I would try an channel my feelings
toward someone new no matter how hard u may
feel but it is the only way.
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Old March 17th, 2019, 09:55 PM   #3
TeslaMMIV
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Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Default Re: Crushes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy_03 View Post
Well as the title suggests, I’ve got a crush on my one of my best friend’s boyfriend. I’m pretty sure he’s straight, and either way, going there in any sense is definitely not an option. But I’ve recently realised I’ve got a crush on him.

I’m openly gay at school and he definitely knows this, and is supportive, from what I know about it. But either way, he is one of my best friends boyfriend, and I’m really close to her and never keep secrets from her. Now, I feel like a dick and I can’t really talk to anyone about it,

I was wondering if anyone had any advice or suggestions for what I should do or how to deal with the feelings, because anything is better than over-thinking it over and over in my head, like I’m doing now.


Oh, Sammy.

I was in your position not too long ago. I had a crush on my best friends boyfriend. It quickly turned into an obsession that was not healthy. It didn’t help that my boyfriend of three years moved away for good two weeks before I met him. But, I valued my friendship more than my crush, so I knew I had to get over him somehow.

The way I got over him, was focusing on his flaws, rather than his amazing features. For instance, I focused on the fact he was really arrogant and self righteous. He thought he was better than everyone else. I don’t like super arrogant people. So I focused on all his negatives. And sure enough, I got over him quicker than I thought I would.

That I think is the best way to get over a straight crush. Focus on the things you don’t like about him. Looks wise, or personality wise. In my case, it was personality, but it can be a wide range of things.

Now, obviously this can go down the tubes very fast if you go about it the wrong way. If you decide all of the sudden you hate his guts, or he is a terrible person, it would be a disaster. You still want to be a friendly person, you just don’t want to have that swooning crush that is causing a mind block and a tension in your friendship.

I’m sorry about the long post, I can get carried away very easily lol. I just hope this helps because it has been a life saver for me.

14, Gay, Tesla Nut, People Person, Black Belt, Homeschooler, and Huggle King

Last edited by TeslaMMIV; March 17th, 2019 at 10:01 PM.
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Old March 19th, 2019, 03:12 AM   #4
Sammy_03
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Default Re: Crushes

Quote:
Originally Posted by TeslaMMIV View Post
Oh, Sammy.

I was in your position not too long ago. I had a crush on my best friends boyfriend. It quickly turned into an obsession that was not healthy. It didnít help that my boyfriend of three years moved away for good two weeks before I met him. But, I valued my friendship more than my crush, so I knew I had to get over him somehow.

The way I got over him, was focusing on his flaws, rather than his amazing features. For instance, I focused on the fact he was really arrogant and self righteous. He thought he was better than everyone else. I donít like super arrogant people. So I focused on all his negatives. And sure enough, I got over him quicker than I thought I would.

That I think is the best way to get over a straight crush. Focus on the things you donít like about him. Looks wise, or personality wise. In my case, it was personality, but it can be a wide range of things.

Now, obviously this can go down the tubes very fast if you go about it the wrong way. If you decide all of the sudden you hate his guts, or he is a terrible person, it would be a disaster. You still want to be a friendly person, you just donít want to have that swooning crush that is causing a mind block and a tension in your friendship.

Iím sorry about the long post, I can get carried away very easily lol. I just hope this helps because it has been a life saver for me.
This was awesome, thank you for the advice and I'll try to do that!

Thank you again!!!

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Old March 19th, 2019, 07:02 AM   #5
ska8er
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Default Re: Crushes

Quote:
Originally Posted by TeslaMMIV View Post
Oh, Sammy.

I was in your position not too long ago. I had a crush on my best friends boyfriend. It quickly turned into an obsession that was not healthy. It didnít help that my boyfriend of three years moved away for good two weeks before I met him. But, I valued my friendship more than my crush, so I knew I had to get over him somehow.

The way I got over him, was focusing on his flaws, rather than his amazing features. For instance, I focused on the fact he was really arrogant and self righteous. He thought he was better than everyone else. I donít like super arrogant people. So I focused on all his negatives. And sure enough, I got over him quicker than I thought I would.

That I think is the best way to get over a straight crush. Focus on the things you donít like about him. Looks wise, or personality wise. In my case, it was personality, but it can be a wide range of things.

Now, obviously this can go down the tubes very fast if you go about it the wrong way. If you decide all of the sudden you hate his guts, or he is a terrible person, it would be a disaster. You still want to be a friendly person, you just donít want to have that swooning crush that is causing a mind block and a tension in your friendship.

Iím sorry about the long post, I can get carried away very easily lol. I just hope this helps because it has been a life saver for me.
SO if he had all these major flaws that u r mentioning
what made u crush all over him-just his amazing features?
That is y personality rules in any relationship. People have
flaws but with flaws like u r saying in the crush u had is not
what someone would like in a relationship or even a friendship.
If it helped u get over him then it was the right thing for u to do
but I don't c what attracted u to him in the first place.
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Old March 19th, 2019, 08:42 PM   #6
TeslaMMIV
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Default Re: Crushes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy_03 View Post
This was awesome, thank you for the advice and I'll try to do that!

Thank you again!!!

You are so welcome! I donít want anyone else to suffer because of a straight crush.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
SO if he had all these major flaws that u r mentioning
what made u crush all over him-just his amazing features?
That is y personality rules in any relationship. People have
flaws but with flaws like u r saying in the crush u had is not
what someone would like in a relationship or even a friendship.
If it helped u get over him then it was the right thing for u to do
but I don't c what attracted u to him in the first place.
Well, when you first glance at some one who is hot of course you are going to get a crush, or be attracted to them. Once I actually engaged with him a little more than just at my homeschool co op, I realized he was a bit of a douchebag. I do agree with you however, that personality rules in a relationship/friendship, or whatever you want to call it. I would rather date some who isnít the best looking and has a great personality and is really nice, than a fckn hot dude, that thinks he is holier than thou.

I will say that the person doesnít have to be a self centered person for this strategy to work. I had a straight crush very recently, and he was perfect. Except he was straight. So, I decided to focus on the fact he wasnít always nice to my best friend.

So, yes I was attracted to him originally, but for me it is what is on the inside that matters.

14, Gay, Tesla Nut, People Person, Black Belt, Homeschooler, and Huggle King
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Old Yesterday, 10:00 AM   #7
mick01
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Default Re: Crushes

Don't lose your best friend over a fleeting crush. Work on moving past your feelings for this guy instead.
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