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Old June 6th, 2019, 10:13 AM   #1
Intell32
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Name: Aakash
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Default I just dont want to live

Every-time I do exams or even tests, i want to cry and kill my self; exams make me realise that I'm a failure, that is good at nothing and just a bad person.
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Old June 6th, 2019, 10:23 AM   #2
Pultost
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

I know it's easier said than done, but please try not to think that way. Every human being is valuable and good for something. Don't let some exam put you down.

Only in The Sims do they chop lettuce and tomatoes when making a P&J sandwich.
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Old June 6th, 2019, 04:48 PM   #3
ska8er
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

Is it apprehension or failure that gets
to u? U do ur best that's all is asked of
u. Its crazy to think of killing urself over
a test. Its not the end of the world.
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Old June 6th, 2019, 08:46 PM   #4
Sillymouth
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

I know how it feels, I'm a disappointment through and through. Just cling on to the thought that you could change for the better in the future, it's worked for me so far.
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Old June 7th, 2019, 04:44 PM   #5
Uniquemind
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

One time I failed a class, and yeah I was upset but longterm I was fine.

I suffer from some test anxiety too, but after I failed I realized I was still alive.

First attempt: F, D’s And F’s on almost every test.

Over summer break I retook those tests and came roaring back with a 97% in that subject.

Your judging yourself too harshly; ease up. Nobody’s perfect on Earth.
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Old June 7th, 2019, 04:48 PM   #6
karacoustic
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

Oh Aakash. i am so glad you reached out. It is soooo easy to beat ourselves up. Please don't!!!

I fell in love with a song recently and it really spoke to me and things i have been going through and i hope it speaks to you too. Failure Isn't Forever by Chris Thile.

But failure won’t be forever
Oh failures aren’t forever
Unless they never try to do better
We’re gonna need some believers
To believe that failure isn’t forever
It’s just a point in time to get better.


This will pass, i promise!! Find someone you trust and tell them about how you are feeling and seek help.

So long and thanks for all the fish!
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Old June 8th, 2019, 02:40 AM   #7
ceto2
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

I'm bit concerned that my boyfriend who ask me to marry him and I z yes. It seem like he starting to have sexual chats to a other female. Do i ask him or what could I do.
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Old June 9th, 2019, 12:59 PM   #8
ArfyMcPeesh
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

I haven’t gone that far yet but I do feel like a failure more and more and I’m getting more alone too. I joined vt to meet ppl but I feel like a failure because so many people don’t speak to me anymore here and in real life. I hope that you don’t ever hurt yourself though because there’s people who do care and would like a friend and don’t care about grades.
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Old June 9th, 2019, 03:54 PM   #9
Adamant
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

Quote:
Originally Posted by Intell32 View Post
Every-time I do exams or even tests, i want to cry and kill my self; exams make me realise that I'm a failure, that is good at nothing and just a bad person.
exams might make you realise that you are bad at exams but no way does that make you a failure or a bad person.
I have a friend who is quite brainy but what i like about him is that he is kind and thoughtful. I don't give a f---- about the grades he gets but I sure do care about how kind he is.
I know its all the old words coming out again but you honestly can only do your best.
Exams definitely aren't everthing.
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Old June 9th, 2019, 11:25 PM   #10
scott2002
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

Quote:
Originally Posted by Intell32 View Post
Every-time I do exams or even tests, i want to cry and kill my self...
Aakash, I'm VERY concerned about what you wrote. Please write back on this:

Have you been thinking about a way that you would kill yourself? Even if you're not thinking about actually killing yourself, have you thought about or made a plan as to what you'd need and how you'd try to do it if you did decide to do it someday?
I'm serious about this and even though I don't know you, I respect you and care about you. Okay?
PLEASE write more. You have friends here.
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Old June 13th, 2019, 10:17 PM   #11
Second Chance
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

Quote:
Originally Posted by Intell32 View Post
Every-time I do exams or even tests, i want to cry and kill my self; exams make me realise that I'm a failure, that is good at nothing and just a bad person.
An examination is simply a test on a given subject and not a reflection of your very being. The fact remains that no one is perfect in every subject, and every single one of us do badly on things. If you expect perfection from yourself, then you are asking something that is simply not possible. The very nature of being a person is being somewhat flawed which is what makes us unique.

If your parents are putting a lot of pressure on you to perform, then you need to understand that there is life after examinations and that you do not have to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc. to be successful and a person of worth. It maybe hard to believe that if you come from an environment where everyone is high achieving, but that is the truth.

I definitely think you need to take a step back and ask yourself what do you like in life. I am not sure what grade of school you're in, but instead of looking at classes as some sort of torture session where you have to memorize information instead look at school as a place where you are going to learn. There may be times where your comprehension of a subject is not ideal which is why you should not beat yourself up but rather get tutoring and ask for help. Even after your best efforts if you do not get what you wanted, then do not go down in the dumps but rather know that at least you had tried.

At the rate you're going you're going to drive yourself crazy, and take a step back. What is important is your life and recognizing that the fact you do exist is what proves you have meaning. A test grade, course grade, etc. is not what defines you. People like Edison, Einstein, and other great people were failures in school but turned out to be brilliant afterwards. Why they succeeded is that they realized they were people of value and had something to offer this world. I am sure you're the same, and realize that you mean something.

The fact you're making this post is a good sign because it shows you need help. It is all right to feel sad, mad, and bad, and talk things out no matter what because it is not worth hurting yourself. If you accept yourself and know that everything will work out despite your grades, then the rest will fall into place.
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Old June 14th, 2019, 11:33 PM   #12
scott2002
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

I just checked the writer's profile.
He hasn't been on this board since the morning of June 7, the day after he wrote the original note on this thread, and he has not written any other posts either.
I hope he is okay; but he hasn't even been back to read most of the support and help we have all offered him.
Again, I hope he is okay...
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Old June 16th, 2019, 03:08 AM   #13
NoLimitGuy
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Default Re: I just dont want to live

Ever tried this crazy stuff called studying?
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