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Old February 9th, 2005, 06:58 PM   #121
Dante
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omg, when I was reading it, i couldn't stop laughing.

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Old February 9th, 2005, 07:02 PM   #122
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wow there all so funny
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Old February 11th, 2005, 06:41 PM   #123
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One day a man gets a call from a doctor telling him that his wife has been in a very bad car crash. The doctor goes on to tell him that he will have to feed her, wash her, and change her. The man is very upset and is about to cry when the doctor says " i'm just joking with you, your wife is dead!"

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Old February 13th, 2005, 12:03 AM   #124
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i think that is one of the funniest jokes ever.

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Old February 25th, 2005, 04:48 PM   #125
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whats the point of posting that.

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Old February 25th, 2005, 05:04 PM   #126
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Just reading

A married couple is lying in bed one night.

The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits.

He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, Why are you taking off your clothes?

His wife replies, You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay.

The husband says, No, not at all.

His wife asks angrily, Well, what the hell were you doing then?

I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book.

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Old February 25th, 2005, 09:56 PM   #127
Julio caesar shavez the 4
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go to the like its not porn lol http://virtualteen.org/forum/viewtop...ote=viewresult
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Old March 3rd, 2005, 11:32 PM   #128
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The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"

The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."

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Old March 13th, 2005, 06:04 PM   #129
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The CEO
The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"

The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
haha thats good.
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Old March 14th, 2005, 05:53 PM   #130
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Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?

A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.

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Old March 14th, 2005, 08:36 PM   #131
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oh....... Slam...... nice one lol

http://www.userbars.com/galerie/imag.../spoonuser.jpg
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Old March 14th, 2005, 09:48 PM   #132
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ok here's one from the car ride home from practice with all my friends, we were acting stupid


ME: Is it getting good looking in here or is it just me!
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Old March 14th, 2005, 09:56 PM   #133
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.........................

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Old March 23rd, 2005, 03:13 AM   #134
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Q:What is the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A: Acne waits until a boy is 13 to come all over their face

Life is like a box of chocolates. And I\'ll eat every f****ing one.

Save a cow. Eat a vegetarian.

It isn\'t the size of the ship, it\'s the motion of the ocean. Yeah, but it\'s hard to get to England in a row boat.

The inner recesses of my mind are an enigma.

Say NO to drugs! And yes to rock, sex, and parties!

GREEN DAY = World Peace
P.S. I just went to their concert bitches!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
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Old March 23rd, 2005, 07:54 AM   #135
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xboxaddict_91
Q:What is the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A: Acne waits until a boy is 13 to come all over their face
this was posted about 3 posts up dont steal other peoples jokes, also he posted a topic for this in the WPR
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Old March 29th, 2005, 04:54 PM   #136
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John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns' sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Mark came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Mark, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

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Old March 29th, 2005, 05:05 PM   #137
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LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

♫♪Κodie♪♫
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Old March 29th, 2005, 05:32 PM   #138
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Thats a gden
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Old April 1st, 2005, 11:58 AM   #139
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that was HILARIOUS!! how did ponochio find out that he was made of wood?
his hand cought on fire!(masturbating)
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Old April 2nd, 2005, 05:14 PM   #140
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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

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