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Old August 28th, 2010, 09:13 PM   #1
deadpie
S̈́ea Wolf Levḯathaחי
 
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Name: Damien Ark
Join Date: August 27, 2009
Location: IA
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 12
Default Carnage / Gehinom

Drags between cigarettes and phantasm silhouttes
She's pissing on a peasent and rippling out a brunette
Coiled arms and and fish hooks to the chest
Tarnish shit all over my hands, your legs, her breasts
Getting off to the cataclysm
Dedicating my joy to the exploding aneurysm

Bite down on that pin
Watch your head explode from afar
Backfloating in a pool of organs
The radiance in the sheol is the humane bizarre

All the muscles used and sore
With the bodies nailed to the floor
Return to the scene and keep the evidence clean
Tomorrow is another quinetessential havoc mien

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Old August 28th, 2010, 09:51 PM   #2
Dorsum Oppel
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Name: Frog-queen Neknekti
Join Date: February 10, 2010
Location: Texas, oh texas.
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: Carnage / Gehinom

One of your best. It has excellent flow and pace, I like it much better than the nonrhythmic free verse.


Lets leave the sound of the heat for the sound of the rain
Its easy to sleep when it wets my brain
But restless is causeless and I cannot hide
So much of my mind that it spills outside

THE PARABLES
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Old September 2nd, 2010, 12:01 PM   #3
Sunshine Girl
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Name: Sterling
Join Date: November 6, 2008
Location: KCMO, around.
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 31
Default Re: Carnage / Gehinom

quinetessential is one of my vocab words.

Anyways, the description is brilliant. Morbid and has a sort of rhythm as said above.

Hold on.
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