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Old May 5th, 2019, 01:10 PM   #1
karacoustic
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Default Silence the Shame

Today is National Silence the Shame Day, and also this is Mental Health Awareness Month, which is to offer up room to have conversation about mental health and erase stigma associated with mental illness. You guys, it is soooooo important to talk about stuff like this!! Here are some ways to do that. On social media look up #silencetheshame and read other people's stories because it helps knowing you are far from alone. Also there is a website www.silencetheshame.com

Here in the USA, there is a 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for confidential help, you can text the word Silence to 741741 from anywhere in the USA to text with a trained crisis counselor.

Then of course there is also VT. Some of you may have seen my story. I am so glad I worked up courage to reach out and talk to friends and family about my struggles! Who knows how much further I may have spiraled over time. It scares me to think about sometimes!!!!

So long and thanks for all the fish!

Last edited by karacoustic; May 7th, 2019 at 03:41 PM.
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Old May 5th, 2019, 01:15 PM   #2
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Default Re: Silence the Shame

It's a great concept and very important to shed some light on indeed. People need to learn that there's no shame whatsoever to ask for help and reach out.

I'm glad you did and is still here, never keep dark thoughts to yourself.

If you get a parrot and name it Polly, you don't have much imagination.
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Old May 7th, 2019, 08:00 AM   #3
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Default Re: Silence the Shame

I think it's a great idea to have a silence the shame day. There are lots of things that aren't anyone's fault that they can feel ashamed about or that other people can tease them about. And they shouldn't be made to feel like that.
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Old May 7th, 2019, 08:16 AM   #4
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Default Re: Silence the Shame

those who know me know i go to therapy for a variety of issues. even though i do feel ashamed sometimes, i try to be open about it as much as i can. is easier on here, not as easy offline, though i have made strides there too
so anyone struggling with something: talk to someone! doesn't have to be therapy like i do, but that's also an option (if available/affordable/covered/etc.)
and know that others struggle too we all go through something, if we were more open about it, wouldn't make each of us feel like a failure when we do go through something and struggle about asking for help...

open to chat in pm with nice people
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Old May 7th, 2019, 10:19 AM   #5
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Default Re: Silence the Shame

And don't just wait for someone else to ask, check on your friends, ask them if they are okay, if they want to talk about anything.
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Old May 8th, 2019, 01:56 PM   #6
karacoustic
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Default Re: Silence the Shame

Quote:
Originally Posted by cozoe View Post
And don't just wait for someone else to ask, check on your friends, ask them if they are okay, if they want to talk about anything.
Yes yes!! Even if everything seems just fine. Good reminder, Zoe.


So long and thanks for all the fish!
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Old May 10th, 2019, 10:15 AM   #7
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Default Re: Silence the Shame

I've always been really open about discussing the fact that I have had serious emotional issues for years, that I have been on meds for depression and other resulting issues, that I have seen a therapist for years, and that I have been helped by seeing my therapist. I am not ashamed of any of that. My emotional issues caused me to have really horrible behavior problems especially at school, where sometimes I honestly didn't care if I behaved or not. Come to find out, I was acting out because I was actually seeking punishment for things that had happened which at the time I was involved in them, I felt were OK but my mind was subconsciously telling me they were NOT OK and that I needed to be punished. I didn't understand the dynamic of how that works but that proved to be the real issue.

Once the therapist helped me understand and admit what was going on deep inside that was the root cause of my emotional issues, I was able to start the healing process and can now state that my behavior is nowhere near as bad as it was before. I'm not perfect and don't expect to be. But it IS possible to get help, and to make changes.

Everyone, there are people out there who are trained to help, and they want to help every person that needs help. Don't be ashamed to admit you need help. Just do it!!!

Last edited by Katie2003; May 10th, 2019 at 10:20 AM.
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Old June 5th, 2019, 12:34 AM   #8
karacoustic
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Default Re: Silence the Shame

Having some late night thoughts and this seemed a good place to put it. And hey Mental Health Awareness month is over but still it is important to keep talking about, so yea.

In the "dedicate a song to the person above you" thread someone gave a song to me - Happy by Pharrell Williams. Because i seem so happy around here, he said. And i remember thinking... wow did that miss the mark. Well i mean not totally, i do like keeping things light and joking and having fun. But still sometimes i feel like i misrepresent myself because i struggle... alot. Especially since entering high school. It had gotten bad. Weird as it sounds i am glad about that suicide scare episode because it was the thing that finally connected me to a therapist about my emotional problems and we are putting a name on things and i am beginning to feel like i can get a handle on my life. I have a long ways to go. I am still scared sometimes, but talking to some of you and reading your stories makes me hopeful.

So long and thanks for all the fish!
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Old June 6th, 2019, 10:12 AM   #9
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Default Re: Silence the Shame

Such a great topic and post Kara <3
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Old June 9th, 2019, 12:37 PM   #10
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Default Re: Silence the Shame

Here is an article that really spoke to me today titled Iím sorry for all the times my depression and anxiety made me a bit of a rubbish friend.


I appreciate those who helped me out of a really tough place. I wasnít always the best friend I could be, and there will still be days that I slip up as I continue to figure myself out. I am getting better. Much love

Quote:

By Ellen Scott, Lifestyle Editor

Since I've started being honest about my mental health, Iíve noticed that my relationships have changed Ė mostly for the better. Thereís more trust there. Weíre able to talk about bigger things. Now that Iíve opened up, the people around me have started to open up, too.

And itís made me think about how much time Iíve spent being not-the-best friend when I wasnít open about what I was dealing with (meaning depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and obsessive thoughts). I want to say sorry. Iím sorry for all the times I didnít message you back because I overthought a response, then decided that ignoring you entirely would make you hate me less than taking a few hours to send a text.

Iím sorry I declined your calls, scared to reveal that yes, you had woken me up, because Iím still in bed at 3pm on a Sunday.

Iím sorry I backed out of plans at the last minute because after getting ready much too early, my anxiety jumped in to remind me of all the dangers outside my house. Iím sorry for lying, for covering things up, for pretending I had food poisoning or other commitments. Some other stuff I donít feel proud of: All the times I pushed you away because I didnít want you to notice that I wasnít being myself. The times I got angry for no reason, was irritable, and decided the easiest option was to cut you out of my life instead of letting you in.

The moments I wasnít 100% invested in our conversations, when my attention wandered as you told me whatís been going on Ė because I was too busy thinking about what a rubbish person I was and obsessing over mess-ups. The times I let myself drift because I didnít feel like I could keep up with the rest of you, going out, going for runs in the morning, working on stuff together. I felt embarrassed. Ashamed that the simplest things suddenly felt impossible, that my brain wasnít a safe place for me to be anymore, that I was scared of turned on light switches, open doors, footsteps behind me. Iím sorry for doubting that youíd understand. Iím sorry that my brain told me I couldnít trust you or rely on you, that telling you would what was happening would be a mistake.

Thatís the thing about depression Ė it becomes your biggest secret and your closest friend, and pushes everyone else away in the process.

Depression hides the person people know and love. It makes you irritable, withdrawn, suddenly uninterested in all the things you used to get excited about. It tells you that you donít deserve friends and loved ones, and makes you believe that if you were to tell anyone your thoughts, theyíd recoil in horror. Thatís why actually opening up and being honest Ė which is a big part of being a good friend, if you didnít know Ė feels so f***ing scary.

Youíre scared that theyíll reject you. That theyíll say something pushes you over the edge. Trusting someone with your biggest, heaviest secret gives them power: to hurt you or help you get better. To avoid that, I pushed people away. I became a good actress. I said I was fine, that something had come up when you asked to spend time together, I made sure to stick to Ďsafeí topics when we talked so I wouldnít let things slip. I wasnít a good friend because I wasnít being myself. I wasnít letting people in. And Iím sorry about that, because it wrecked a lot of friendships, made me miss out on years of great talks with my mum, who I kept at a distance so she wouldnít figure out what was going on in my head, and held me back from making connections with new people. Iím working on that now.

Iím learning that the people I care about care about me, too. They wonít hate me just because Iím sad, or judge me for being scared Ė they just care that Iím okay.

Iím working on trusting people. Iím working on listening to the people I love instead of the negative voice in my head that tells me everyone hates me and Iím generally sh*t. Itís okay to need a little help from the people in my life to get through a time thatís not all that great. The people I want in my life arenít the ones whoíd ditch me when things get tough. Theyíre the ones that are there to listen when I need it, who know, now, that they can open up to me too, and theyíre the ones that help me to stay sane every day Ė more than they know.

So now Iím done with the sorries Ė although Iím sure there are more to come with further unanswered texts and ditched plans Ė I want to say thank you. Thank you to the people whoíve stuck with me when I havenít been the best friend in return. Thank you for listening. Thank you for caring.

When your brain turns on you, you need good friends more than ever. And Iím so glad Iíve got you. Iím getting better. And Iíll get better at being your friend along the way.



So long and thanks for all the fish!
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