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Old May 28th, 2011, 08:25 PM   #1
Alexithymia
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Name: Mark
Join Date: November 21, 2010
Location: Indiana
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Dream where I knew I was fat...

Yeah. Lame, right? Anyway, I looked the same, but I could hear what everyone said, thought, and what I -truly- looked like. I'm a fat, disgusting, overly obese monstrosity. Now, the little rational part in my brain is telling me that while I am probably just a few pounds over weight, it is nothing compared to what I know I am. I'm 117 lbs, and 5'7", and the thing says I'm in the 49th percentile. So, this means that I'm not overweight, but I could stand to lose a few pounds, right? Right.

The 95% left of my brain is telling me that I need to lose at LEAST 20 pounds. I'm not eating breakfast or lunch anymore, and I'm slowly starting to not snack on anything else until dinner, when I have about 1/4 of what I'm given. I'm overly conscious of myself; I hate wearing clothes that display me in an odd way and I hate being the odd one out. I know I -have- a problem, I'm just worried about how bad it is right now; I'm worried about how bad it's going to get.


Success isn't the opposite of failure;
success is the path that everyone must take
- though it might be filled with hardships -
in order to achieve whatever it is they wish to accomplish.
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Old May 28th, 2011, 10:21 PM   #2
EarthToBryan
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Name: Bryn
Join Date: May 21, 2011
Location: In the tree by the brook.
Gender: Male
Default Re: Dream where I knew I was fat...

117??? I weigh 210. Not muscle, just fat. (not obese, mind you, just moderately overweight) If I can be comfortable-ish at this weight you can be content at yours. It isn't healthy to not eat. You could get yourself into a whole lot of trouble health wise if you keep that up. I know where you are coming from, self image is very important, but I don't think how you view yourself is accurate to what you really are. I'm sure you are an attractive person, but it isn't what is on the outside that counts but your personality. If someone judges you completely based on your outward appearance then they are not the kind of person worth hanging out with, let alone dating. You are a beautiful person, even if you focus on what you see as flaws there will always be far more positives than negatives about you. Don't let societies unrealistic standards of beauty get you down, you and your (Healthy) weight are amazing the way they are. *Hugs*

Well, damn. This whole life thing... It kind of sucks right now.
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Old May 29th, 2011, 05:09 AM   #3
BrokenXPaperXDolls
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Name: paula
Join Date: February 12, 2011
Gender: Female
Default Re: Dream where I knew I was fat...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aethi View Post
Yeah. Lame, right? Anyway, I looked the same, but I could hear what everyone said, thought, and what I -truly- looked like. I'm a fat, disgusting, overly obese monstrosity. Now, the little rational part in my brain is telling me that while I am probably just a few pounds over weight, it is nothing compared to what I know I am. I'm 117 lbs, and 5'7", and the thing says I'm in the 49th percentile. So, this means that I'm not overweight, but I could stand to lose a few pounds, right? Right.

The 95% left of my brain is telling me that I need to lose at LEAST 20 pounds. I'm not eating breakfast or lunch anymore, and I'm slowly starting to not snack on anything else until dinner, when I have about 1/4 of what I'm given. I'm overly conscious of myself; I hate wearing clothes that display me in an odd way and I hate being the odd one out. I know I -have- a problem, I'm just worried about how bad it is right now; I'm worried about how bad it's going to get.
Trust me u dont need to lose any weight. dont starve urself hun as it does so much damage to ur body. Sometimes the more weight u lose the bigger u feel wich gives u wrong vision of how u actually look. maybe you should try talking to someone about this.

hugs

Im here to talk if u need to
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Old May 29th, 2011, 07:06 AM   #4
Fiction
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Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Dream where I knew I was fat...

Mark you have no need to lose weight, your weight is fine as it is. You've stopped cutting recently right? Maybe this is your mind trying to find other ways to cope, because I find that I cut less when i'm doing this than when i'm not. I guess the thing to do would be to find something else, something more healthy to cope. Maybe writing, drawing, running... anything you enjoy really.

The fact that it's scaring you indicates that you need help. I've just got help for my eating disorder and it wasn't that bad in the end, not as bad as I thought it'd be. Maybe go and see your doctor about this?

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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