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Old October 2nd, 2012, 06:28 PM   #1661
randomnessqueen
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

what do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?
...
...
...
my arse

If you want to fly
all you need
is friendship
I love to make you smile smile smile :pinkiehappy:
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Old October 2nd, 2012, 07:21 PM   #1662
Courtney Marie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bath View Post
Hey I have an easy riddle for you all c:

"A man goes into a prison to visit somebody he knows. The prison guard says that he cannot go in unless the person he's visiting is family. So the man replies, 'brothers and sisters, I have none, but this man's father is my father's son.' The prison guard let's him in. How were the two men related?"

It's simple but makes you think for about five minutes. :p
Dang idk this one tricky.!





Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvcbxgAqH9I&feature=plcp
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Old October 17th, 2012, 05:20 AM   #1663
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A preist, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar...



...He orders a drink.
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Old October 23rd, 2012, 04:43 AM   #1664
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

If athletes get athletes foot, do astronauts get missletoe?

Some blackened pride still burns inside
This shell of bloody treason
Here's my gun for a barrel of fun
For the love of living death!!!
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Old October 23rd, 2012, 04:48 AM   #1665
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Courtney Marie View Post
Dang idk this one tricky.!

Easy its the prisoners father...

Some blackened pride still burns inside
This shell of bloody treason
Here's my gun for a barrel of fun
For the love of living death!!!
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Old October 23rd, 2012, 02:34 PM   #1666
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Some guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

Some blackened pride still burns inside
This shell of bloody treason
Here's my gun for a barrel of fun
For the love of living death!!!
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Old October 23rd, 2012, 02:46 PM   #1667
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Riddles:
Always seen,
but never reached,
From North to South
and West to East...?

A box without hinges, key or lid,
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.* *

What is the most popular type of car...?
A Hearse 'cause everyone dying to ride in one...

Some blackened pride still burns inside
This shell of bloody treason
Here's my gun for a barrel of fun
For the love of living death!!!
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Old November 2nd, 2012, 08:45 AM   #1668
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Oooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! I see now good good!!
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Old November 7th, 2012, 12:18 PM   #1669
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Moby dick was a sperm whale

Some blackened pride still burns inside
This shell of bloody treason
Here's my gun for a barrel of fun
For the love of living death!!!
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Old November 11th, 2012, 02:29 AM   #1670
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1. Why did the U.S. invade Iraq

2.Bush couldn't spell Afghanistan

M/16/Pan
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Old November 28th, 2012, 05:12 AM   #1671
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Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

As history's lessons and morals advance into the modern age, we are thoroughly cleansed. Not by the power that we have been given, neither have we been cleansed of the impurity and evil that has mingled in society. We have endured and we will try again. It is of such periods of time has the corrupt attempt to scavenge and gain, has the powerful lead and the weak stay through the darkness of luxury that has never been acknowledged.

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Old November 29th, 2012, 12:10 AM   #1672
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

So a man walked into a bar.

It hurt.

I do not rep back. If I give you rep points, it's because you earned it by saying something clever or by saying something cleverly.
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Old November 29th, 2012, 12:11 AM   #1673
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

An irishman walked out of a bar.

What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist ass.

I do not rep back. If I give you rep points, it's because you earned it by saying something clever or by saying something cleverly.
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Old December 1st, 2012, 07:47 PM   #1674
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

How do you make Holy Water?
A: Boil the Hell out of it.

What do you call a dog with no hind legs and balls made of steel?
A: Sparky


Quote:
2:07 AM [Carlyle] 200% grade A homo
Ali is my Green JellyBean
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Old December 4th, 2012, 12:10 AM   #1675
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Math problem: If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes will fit in the roof??

Answer: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Some blackened pride still burns inside
This shell of bloody treason
Here's my gun for a barrel of fun
For the love of living death!!!
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Old December 21st, 2012, 07:07 AM   #1676
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
heres a riddle you probably wont get,

3 guys walk into a hotel and rent a room, the clerk says its $30, so they pay and go up. then the manager walks in and tells the clerk that the roo was only $25. the clerks goes to return the $5, but doesnt know how o split it 3 ways, so he keeps $2 and gives $1 to each person.

each person spent $9, 9x3 is 27, and the clerk has $2, 27+2=$29, wheres the other dollar?
if you look at it like this

(10*3)-5+3 and then the clerk has the leftover $2

M/17/straight but curious
when life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave life wondering how the [email protected]#k you did it.
talk to me any time... im an Australian kid that loves life and would love to talk to anyone else that's in Australia!!!
i play CoD ghost black ops 2 and MW3, I'm a junior rugby league (JRL) referee and love it.
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Old January 4th, 2013, 02:48 AM   #1677
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Two drums and a cymbal fall of a cliff?

*rimshot*

Life is an enigma
It swirls and spirals round
Chaos is it's middle name
And rarely's order found


14/Guy/Straight
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Old January 12th, 2013, 03:39 PM   #1678
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

3 nuns die in a car crash.
on the way to heaven Peter stops them at the gate and tells them they have to each answer a question before they can get in.
So he asks the first nun, " who was the first woman?"
and she answers, "Eve."
and he says, "yup, you're in."
He asks the 2nd nun, "where did Eve live?"
and she answers, "the garden of eden."
He says, "yup, you're in."
and he says to the 3rd one, which was the Mother Superior,"I'm afraid the questions gonna be a bit tricky for you..what did Eve say when she first saw Adam?"
Agreeing the question is difficult she says, "ooh, it's a hard one.."
and he says, " yup, you're in!"

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Old January 12th, 2013, 07:17 PM   #1679
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

2 blondes walk into a bar.
you'd think one of them would have seen it

asian-american/bi


my village just called.....seems an idiot is missing
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Old January 17th, 2013, 09:38 AM   #1680
BrainDamage
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Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven.

Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, "OK, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."

The preacher is shocked and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!"

St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."

Some blackened pride still burns inside
This shell of bloody treason
Here's my gun for a barrel of fun
For the love of living death!!!
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