Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old September 28th, 2004, 10:20 AM   #1
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default Jokes and Riddles

Mix Up at the Hospit


This guy went to hospital for a circumcision, but because of a mix up, he ended up having a complete sex change.

All of the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so they could give him the bad news.

Naturally, the poor guy went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him.

"Oh no!" he moaned, "this means I'll never be able to experience an erection ever again!"

"Of course you will," one of the doctors soothed. It'll just have to be someone else's, that's all."

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 28th, 2004, 10:24 AM   #2
TheWizard
Retired Administrator
 
TheWizard's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: March 19, 2004
Location: Hogwarts School
Default

lol

Josh

TheWizard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 28th, 2004, 12:14 PM   #3
Skittle Flavored
Awesome Poster
 
Skittle Flavored's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: September 24, 2004
Location: Sweet home CALIFORNIA!
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Default

how do u get 4 gay guys to go 2 a bar?

flip the barstool around

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
Skittle Flavored is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 1st, 2004, 03:47 PM   #4
Kiros
Retired Administrator
 
Kiros's Forum Picture
 
Name: Ben
Join Date: May 22, 2004
Location: Albany, LA - USA
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 17
Default

lol dante, but howd u post a sticky??? O_O

Kiros || Ben

Happiness is not about being perfect.
It is about seeing beyond the imperfections.
Kiros is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 1st, 2004, 03:51 PM   #5
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

i didnt post a sticky, im wondering my self

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 1st, 2004, 05:33 PM   #6
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

Transplant


A man comes to the doctor and says, "m-m-m-my d-d-dick is so pressurized that I st-st-stutter."

The doctor tells him he will give him a dick transplant. He loses his 3-foot-long dick for a 4-inch-long dick.

He comes back in a week and says, "Now my wife wont have sex with me. May I have the old one back?"

The doctor replies... "A d-d-d-deal's a d-d-d-deal."

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 1st, 2004, 11:21 PM   #7
AC.wAkeBoArDin.06
VT Lover
 
AC.wAkeBoArDin.06's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 3, 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Default

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

The Years Have Been Short, But The Days Go Slowly By.
~The Shins
AC.wAkeBoArDin.06 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 1st, 2004, 11:23 PM   #8
Skittle Flavored
Awesome Poster
 
Skittle Flavored's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: September 24, 2004
Location: Sweet home CALIFORNIA!
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Default

LOL!!!

a guy was going on a buisness trip, so he bought his wife a dildo so she wont have any sex with any1 else. it was an acient egyption dildo and listened 2 commands. he told her to say whatever she wanted it in, just say it. he left and she said "pussy" so the dildo went to her pussy, but her husband never told her how 2 get it out. so she drove 2 the hospital and got pulled over. she said "let me go please! i have a dildo in my pussy," the cop said "my ass!!"

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
Skittle Flavored is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 2nd, 2004, 11:58 PM   #9
boognish
A Pleaser
 
Join Date: June 29, 2004
Location: somewhere in a galaxy far far away...
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Default

i get it, funny

My Views Are Odd, I am Accutally a Republican
i dont suffer from insanity, i enjoy it
i swear to drunk im not god

pm me if anyone needs any kind of help, i probly know the answer you seek
i got a new email...
its gmail! it is: [email protected]
boognish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 09:32 AM   #10
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

MUSTARD

Monica went to the dry cleaners and said," Excuse me, I wold like to get my dress cleaned."
And the little old man was barely able to hear her and said,"What did you say?"
She replied,"I would like to get my dress cleaned sir."
And the old man still could not hear her and said,"Come again?"
She replied."
No, Mustard."


WHAT TIME IS IT

BLONDE: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"

MAN: "It's 3:15."

BLONDE: (puzzled look) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 11:08 AM   #11
Skittle Flavored
Awesome Poster
 
Skittle Flavored's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: September 24, 2004
Location: Sweet home CALIFORNIA!
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Default

LOL!!!!!

this teenager wants 2 have sex, but he shares a bunkbed with his little brother. so he tells his girlfriend that if she wants it softer say musterd, if she wants it harder, say ketchup. so shes like " ketchup! musterd! ketchup! musterd!" and the little brother says" can u stop making sandwiches up there? ur getting mayonase all over me!"

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
Skittle Flavored is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 12:16 PM   #12
soadnation
Junior Member
 
soadnation's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: October 2, 2004
Default

a couple are having dinner when a rober comes in and tise therm both up. he goes and wispers in the womens ear and then goes to the bathroom

the husband told his wife that the guy probly hasnt had sex in years and to be strong

wife"he told me he weas gay. be strong honey"


i read this on a pb website so its not exactly right

pb freak

soad is #1 band
soadnation is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 12:17 PM   #13
Whisper
Ancient Gmod
 
Whisper's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kodie
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Location: Van Island, BC
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by timpot
LOL!!!!!

this teenager wants 2 have sex, but he shares a bunkbed with his little brother. so he tells his girlfriend that if she wants it softer say musterd, if she wants it harder, say ketchup. so shes like " ketchup! musterd! ketchup! musterd!" and the little brother says" can u stop making sandwiches up there? ur getting mayonase all over me!"
LOL!!!!!

Good one soadnation
Whisper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 12:18 PM   #14
soadnation
Junior Member
 
soadnation's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: October 2, 2004
Default

hhahahaha

pb freak

soad is #1 band
soadnation is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 02:06 PM   #15
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

THATS HARD!


A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question, but as he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both startled and he says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'

She replies, 'if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221.'



Helping Your Co-Work


Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Fido, the family dog.

When asked why by her former employer, she answered, "I never forget a friend. This was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!"

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 02:07 PM   #16
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

Give Up Drugs


Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever," he said.

"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" the judge asked.

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: -- O o -- and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?" he asked the second guy.

"Well, your honor, I persuaded one hundred fifty six people to give up drugs forever," he said.

"That many people! How amazing! How did you manage to do that!" the judge asked.

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'this is your anus before prison,'" he said.

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 02:14 PM   #17
soadnation
Junior Member
 
soadnation's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: October 2, 2004
Default

hahaha. we need a better laughing smiley

pb freak

soad is #1 band
soadnation is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 02:34 PM   #18
Dante
Legendary Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 18
Default

yea we do

If Any Member needs to talk to me about anything, Just PM me, the door is always open.

My blog: Blog...
Dante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 04:14 PM   #19
Skittle Flavored
Awesome Poster
 
Skittle Flavored's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: September 24, 2004
Location: Sweet home CALIFORNIA!
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dante2587
Give Up Drugs


Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever," he said.

"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" the judge asked.

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: -- O o -- and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?" he asked the second guy.

"Well, your honor, I persuaded one hundred fifty six people to give up drugs forever," he said.

"That many people! How amazing! How did you manage to do that!" the judge asked.

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'this is your anus before prison,'" he said.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ROLF! LMAO!!!

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
Skittle Flavored is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 3rd, 2004, 04:15 PM   #20
Skittle Flavored
Awesome Poster
 
Skittle Flavored's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: September 24, 2004
Location: Sweet home CALIFORNIA!
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dante2587
THATS HARD!


A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question, but as he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both startled and he says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'

She replies, 'if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221.'



Helping Your Co-Work


Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Fido, the family dog.

When asked why by her former employer, she answered, "I never forget a friend. This was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

"It is not reason that changes people's minds, it is other people, other minds."
"I can stand brute force, but brute intellect..Well, thats like hitting below the logic"

I always love helping people and answering questions. So if you want to know something, or just to talk, I'll always be here for you. Also, ask me for my MSN e-mail, and we can talk there too.
Skittle Flavored is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:45 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2018
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2018, VirtualTeen.org