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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:05 PM   #1
1_21Guns
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Default i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

i just feel sick.
i've spent the past 2 weeks lecturing my best friend telling her she has to eat, telling her off for wanting to be a size 0 because it's disgusting.
but all of what i said apart from the size 0 stuff, makes me a hypocrite.
i dont want to eat. i feel sick from eating.
i only weigh 7 stone, but if my weight dares go over 7 on the dot, i freak and feel like i should stop eating all together.
but then i can't stop, so then i feel sick and guilty when i eat.
i just dont even want to eat anymore.
my mum came up with garlic bread with cheese on. i nearly threw up at the sight of it.
i clearly don't need to lose weight. but i just feel fat all the time, even though its just because im continually bloated.
i hate my body, its horrible. i know i wont be able to eat before long anyway because it'll be too warm. but i feel like stopping now.
i dont even know. i just want to stop.

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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:18 PM   #2
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

Hey there.

It all goes to say that we're our own worst enemies when it comes to eating or pretty much any other advice which we dish out to those around us. Just because we lecture one another on what's right, wrong, and what should be done, doesn't necessarily make it easy for us to follow ourselves, nor do we tend to just turn around and accept it and go on with life. It's not easy sitting there telling someone one thing that's healthy, then turning around and doing the exact opposite and not looking like a hypocrite in the end; however, when we look at everything that we're presented with, sometimes life, our bodies, and thoughts just get the best of us. So a size 0 is a tad bit nasty, sure, but that doesn't mean none of us would love to be able to fit into a size or two below what we currently do.

I can sit here and reiterate everything that you just told her off about. I could sit here and tell you that you need to start eating healthier, you need to eat period, and you need to just do what you can in order to survive and live. But me saying this to you wouldn't by any means make any sense in my eyes. What we view for someone else as healthy and right, isn't exactly what we see ourselves as. As I said, we all view ourselves worse than we actually are off. Chances are you look absolutely stunning as is, but if you don't think you look okay, then you'll never feel beautiful or right in your own skin.

Thing is that we can't just stop eating. That's a ridiculous thought to keep in mind or even try to do. Eating is what keeps us going. Keeps us ticking, and keeps us alive. Without food, nutrition, minerals, vitamins, water, we'd just drop dead on sight. Not right away of course, but over time we'd fade away. Our bones would become brittle, and we'd just keep shrinking into nothing. As much as I hate to say it: Do you really want to fade away? Do you want to resort to nothing? Cause medical issues for yourself left and right? Practically kill yourself from malnutrition?

From the sounds of it, it feels like your main problem isn't necessarily an eating disorder; rather it sounds like self-esteem problems. I don't know what you look like, nor do I really care what you look like. What matters is that you're happy with how you are. After all, if we try and please anyone in the world, we should please those who matter the most in our lives. Starting with us as individuals. The more you accept who you are, the more confident you become in yourself, the more people around you will see this. Confidence is an attractive quality, and believe me it's extremely noticeable in another person (in whether or not they like who they are.)

As for the constant bloating, this can easily be changed. What I recommend to you is this: Drink water, eat five meals a day, eat what's right for you. Water- You'll lose a tiny bit of weight after a week or two, but it'll be a step in the right way of making you healthy. The healthier you feel, the better off your views of yourself may be, right? Eating five meals a day- seems like a terrible idea, but it's a proven fact that if you eat five balanced, nutritious meals a day that you'll not only eliminate a sense of hunger, but you'll likewise (most likely) lose your feeling of bloating.

As for a closing, answer me this; by not eating, what exactly do you feel you gain from all of this?
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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:22 PM   #3
1_21Guns
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ignorance View Post
Hey there.

It all goes to say that we're our own worst enemies when it comes to eating or pretty much any other advice which we dish out to those around us. Just because we lecture one another on what's right, wrong, and what should be done, doesn't necessarily make it easy for us to follow ourselves, nor do we tend to just turn around and accept it and go on with life. It's not easy sitting there telling someone one thing that's healthy, then turning around and doing the exact opposite and not looking like a hypocrite in the end; however, when we look at everything that we're presented with, sometimes life, our bodies, and thoughts just get the best of us. So a size 0 is a tad bit nasty, sure, but that doesn't mean none of us would love to be able to fit into a size or two below what we currently do.

I can sit here and reiterate everything that you just told her off about. I could sit here and tell you that you need to start eating healthier, you need to eat period, and you need to just do what you can in order to survive and live. But me saying this to you wouldn't by any means make any sense in my eyes. What we view for someone else as healthy and right, isn't exactly what we see ourselves as. As I said, we all view ourselves worse than we actually are off. Chances are you look absolutely stunning as is, but if you don't think you look okay, then you'll never feel beautiful or right in your own skin.

Thing is that we can't just stop eating. That's a ridiculous thought to keep in mind or even try to do. Eating is what keeps us going. Keeps us ticking, and keeps us alive. Without food, nutrition, minerals, vitamins, water, we'd just drop dead on sight. Not right away of course, but over time we'd fade away. Our bones would become brittle, and we'd just keep shrinking into nothing. As much as I hate to say it: Do you really want to fade away? Do you want to resort to nothing? Cause medical issues for yourself left and right? Practically kill yourself from malnutrition?

From the sounds of it, it feels like your main problem isn't necessarily an eating disorder; rather it sounds like self-esteem problems. I don't know what you look like, nor do I really care what you look like. What matters is that you're happy with how you are. After all, if we try and please anyone in the world, we should please those who matter the most in our lives. Starting with us as individuals. The more you accept who you are, the more confident you become in yourself, the more people around you will see this. Confidence is an attractive quality, and believe me it's extremely noticeable in another person (in whether or not they like who they are.)

As for the constant bloating, this can easily be changed. What I recommend to you is this: Drink water, eat five meals a day, eat what's right for you. Water- You'll lose a tiny bit of weight after a week or two, but it'll be a step in the right way of making you healthy. The healthier you feel, the better off your views of yourself may be, right? Eating five meals a day- seems like a terrible idea, but it's a proven fact that if you eat five balanced, nutritious meals a day that you'll not only eliminate a sense of hunger, but you'll likewise (most likely) lose your feeling of bloating.

As for a closing, answer me this; by not eating, what exactly do you feel you gain from all of this?
hm, this sounds crazy. but i can't drink water. at all. it makes me feel ill. in my old house, the water was really chlorinated. put me off for life. thats all i can taste in water now. but anyway.

i feel like i have control over something. i can't cut, so i tend to resort to starving myself when i can. sometimes i can feel really body confident, but its rare and doesnt last long.

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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:27 PM   #4
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

Ah, water isn't very tasty anyway. So if you can't do that, just stick away from drinks loaded with sugars and carbs such as juices, sweetened teas, etc.

So by starving yourself you feel like you gain control over something. That makes perfect sense, but to be honest with you, it's not really the best thing in the world. Neither is cutting, but I'm sure you already know this. There are plenty of things in the world that you can resort to other than choices which are destructive to your body that allow you the sensation of control. Control is a nice thing, but what happens when things spiral out of control? Eating disorders seem nice and brilliant when we feel as though we have complete control over what we're doing, but they eventually turn into forceful habit. Addictions. and essentially it becomes exactly what it says; a disorder.

Have you attempted to channel this idea of control onto something else, by any chance?
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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:29 PM   #5
1_21Guns
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ignorance View Post
Ah, water isn't very tasty anyway. So if you can't do that, just stick away from drinks loaded with sugars and carbs such as juices, sweetened teas, etc.

So by starving yourself you feel like you gain control over something. That makes perfect sense, but to be honest with you, it's not really the best thing in the world. Neither is cutting, but I'm sure you already know this. There are plenty of things in the world that you can resort to other than choices which are destructive to your body that allow you the sensation of control. Control is a nice thing, but what happens when things spiral out of control? Eating disorders seem nice and brilliant when we feel as though we have complete control over what we're doing, but they eventually turn into forceful habit. Addictions. and essentially it becomes exactly what it says; a disorder.

Have you attempted to channel this idea of control onto something else, by any chance?
not particularily. i cant say i've ever been sure what else i could channel it into.

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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:34 PM   #6
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

The world is full of endless possibilities on what you could do in order to feel in control. For me, I tend to write. I have full control over what I write. I can manipulate the scene, story plot, characters, etc. at the whim of my thoughts. For you, it could be this. It could be writing music, singing, reading, taking photographs, anything you put your thought to. Heck, it could even be having a job and going there every day with the hopes of doing the best that you can each day. It could be taking up any ole opportunity that comes before you; such as volunteering, etc.
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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:43 PM   #7
1_21Guns
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

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Originally Posted by Ignorance View Post
The world is full of endless possibilities on what you could do in order to feel in control. For me, I tend to write. I have full control over what I write. I can manipulate the scene, story plot, characters, etc. at the whim of my thoughts. For you, it could be this. It could be writing music, singing, reading, taking photographs, anything you put your thought to. Heck, it could even be having a job and going there every day with the hopes of doing the best that you can each day. It could be taking up any ole opportunity that comes before you; such as volunteering, etc.
i used to write alot actually, then kinda gave it up.

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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:45 PM   #8
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

Mind if I ask why you gave it up?
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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:48 PM   #9
1_21Guns
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

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Mind if I ask why you gave it up?
kinda lost my passion for it in a way, just didnt see the point in trying to focus on doing something.

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Old May 2nd, 2010, 05:52 PM   #10
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

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kinda lost my passion for it in a way, just didnt see the point in trying to focus on doing something.
Ah I see.

Well, over time we all tend to lose passion in some of the things we do, but that doesn't mean we don't necessarily have the ability to rekindle it if we do in fact want to/find a love for it once more.

I tend to think of these situations as a sort of a hiatus, rather than a loss of passion; maybe it's because most of the people I know who go through similar things with other passions don't necessarily lose the want/desire to do it again, but they tend to run out of ideas or don't really feel confident in what they're doing. So rather than trying to fix the issues (if there is any, which there tends not to be imo), they just get this idea in their head to give up or lose passion and move on.

Maybe it's not your case, but anything is worth a shot right? Especially if it helps you in the long run with health risks which are seemingly posing a potential issue at the moment.
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Old May 2nd, 2010, 06:02 PM   #11
1_21Guns
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ignorance View Post
Ah I see.

Well, over time we all tend to lose passion in some of the things we do, but that doesn't mean we don't necessarily have the ability to rekindle it if we do in fact want to/find a love for it once more.

I tend to think of these situations as a sort of a hiatus, rather than a loss of passion; maybe it's because most of the people I know who go through similar things with other passions don't necessarily lose the want/desire to do it again, but they tend to run out of ideas or don't really feel confident in what they're doing. So rather than trying to fix the issues (if there is any, which there tends not to be imo), they just get this idea in their head to give up or lose passion and move on.

Maybe it's not your case, but anything is worth a shot right? Especially if it helps you in the long run with health risks which are seemingly posing a potential issue at the moment.
maybe. thanks for your help.

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Old May 2nd, 2010, 06:02 PM   #12
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

Anytime.

Sorry for not helping all too great, but if you ever need anything, feel free to send me a message and all.
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Old May 5th, 2010, 03:43 PM   #13
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

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Originally Posted by 1_21Guns View Post
hm, this sounds crazy. but i can't drink water. at all. it makes me feel ill. in my old house, the water was really chlorinated. put me off for life. thats all i can taste in water now. but anyway.

i feel like i have control over something. i can't cut, so i tend to resort to starving myself when i can. sometimes i can feel really body confident, but its rare and doesnt last long.
why cant you cut? jussayin, it may not be good, but it might be better than starving yourself.
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Old May 5th, 2010, 03:45 PM   #14
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

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why cant you cut? jussayin, it may not be good, but it might be better than starving yourself.
because people will see. people i care about will see. and it hurts them. starving myself is discreate and nobody has to know i'm doing it.

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Old May 22nd, 2010, 12:48 PM   #15
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Default Re: i can't eat. i don't want to eat. i feel fat. i hate eating. i hate me.

You are sooo pretty and you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. You need to eat you shouldn't starve yourself. Your only a size 7 and thats fine I understand that you might feel fat but your not. Please don't starve yourself its a horrible thing to do to yourself, and will eventually kill you. So please just eat something, for your friend's and family's sake.

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I'd say yolo to having fun at a party and dancing wildly (but not slutty dancing) or having like one jello shot
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