people are noticing...

mom is starting to notice my obsessiveness with weight lose... i weigh myself almost every day... a few times she has cuaght me.. i usully eat based on calories and if its a carb, i try to stay away from it.. i usually eat dinner... however mom has been making me eat somehting for lunch so i eat 1-2 crackers with nuetella. then eat half of whats on my plate for dinner. i don't like drinking anythng.. i look at calories in drinks too, it has to be 0.... unless its arizona green tea which i'll treat myself to once a month... anyway... she has also noticed my weight lose, and me wanitng to wokr out more.. i joked around with her one time i was eating normally. i felt sick afterwards because i haven't eaten the normal amount in a meal in a lonnnnnnnng time, so i jokeningly said hey i'll feel better if i just throw up, i'll get to taste it twice... bad mistake... mom has caught me in the past throwing up... it stopped only because she was concerned and it upset her a lot. sooo yea now she is uber caustious when i go into the bathroom... listens in to mke sure no puking sounds are happening.. it seems i jus want toi keep eating less. i'm a size 3 and i want to be a size 2.... i weigh 111 lbs at least i think... last time i weighed which was awhile ago.. i might have lost more since then.. . anyway like arghh... its so annoying because like now i dont' want naything in my mouth.. .no food, no drink... i know its dangerous.. . i'll get myself out of this... eventually.. like i'll force it once i start feeling dizzy or somehting... i should probably get help.... . any ideas? plus i want to start throwing up again... perhaps is there a self help way of doing it without a psych.. i mean if i start seeing one in the future, for my ADD hich i am, at a mental hospital soon for meds... but i may be going there more often for SI and ED. well,... i'll tell her about it... when i can open up to her.. .orry for long post...

I don't know a whole lot about eating disorders, but it's good that you recognize that you may need professional help. I definitely think that going to your mom about it would be the best first move. If you think that she knows, then chances are that she does, she just may not know what to do about it necessarily. She obviously is concerned, so help her to help you in getting the support and help that you need in breaking the chain. Whenever you're ready to open up, then wonderful = ]

yea... i think i will open up to her... not right now though, too many thigns i'm dealing with right now.. i'm going to try to get well on my own.. if i can't then i'll seek help, but my mom does know i think, and she is concerned