the past is coming back...

So now all I have to do is wait to slip back into what I was before... All I did everyday is lay on my bed, smoking about 50+ cigs a day and cut myself. I'd dropped out of school, become a loner and lived in my own little bubble. That was what the past three years were like for me. Until I stopped cutting myself.. Now it seems the past is replaying itself, like it's groundhog day. I don't want it to happen again because I know how addictive it is and how obsessed I was. I used to put razorblades in the back of my mobile, ontop of the battery. So then for some reason I was always safe and in control. Is there any quitters out there in the same situation? Really need help :'(

Im not a quitter, but i can say it feels as though the past is being repeated for me too. Im a person that finds it really hard to take my own and other peoples advice, even though i can give it. I know how easy it is to fall into the trap of feeling in control when your in that position, but if anything its further from the truth, its controlling you. If you ever need to talk pm me, or my msn is on my profile.

There are situations re-living themselves though and it's what made me start self harming in the 1st place.... I don't wanna go down the drug-abuse way again either... *sighs*

Have you had any sort of counselling for it before?

You need to fight the erdge as much as you can, it will only get worse. if You havent considered any other options like distracting yourself then i would really advise it. x

yes i feel it now reli bad i caint sleep i just want to sleep

The natural response for every person to a re-occurring situation, is to react in the same way as before. Certain patterns and events seem to strike at the very core of one's inner scars, awakening the intense pain that had been momentarily left behind. I have been noticing something very similar in myself as of late, and I know how terribly frightening it can be.

The intellect, I believe, is every troubled soul's last refuge. Since we have no control over our external circumstances, nor, it seems, our emotions; one of the few things still fully intact are our minds. The ability to reason without emotional bias, and then applying that reasoning to resistance against whatever force is endangering your well-being.

In addition to being aware of the realistic dangers associated with self-harm, which I'm sure you are, perhaps it would help to reflect on your experiences as a 'quitter'. What provided you the strength to make it possible? What insights have you learned in general, during the process of remaining self-harm free? Has there been moments similar to this one in the past, and if so, how was that dealt with?

Often times, it will seem as if the emotions are stronger, overpowering rational thoughts. It will happen, but it will pass. This is a time where it would be exceptionally helpful to discuss your ideas with someone; when the going gets tough. You will be okay. Have faith.