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Old October 19th, 2009, 03:56 PM   #1
Syvelocin
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Name: Rith
Join Date: August 2, 2009
Location: The Emerald City, OR
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 3
Default ... who am I?

OCD. SAD. Phobias. Schizoid Personality Disorder. Manic Depression. All things I have/pending diagnosis.

For sure phobias and manic depression. I have ten major, anxiety-ridden phobias. We're also pretty sure I have another anxiety disorder, possibly GAD since my mother has it but we're looking more at SAD, and the 95% of OCD symptoms I have.

And I think, for so long these things have been going on and I had no clue. I never really knew who I was. All I know is acting, music, and writing, but I've noticed I no longer want to go out and audition. I don't feel like reading, which I used to love having a big passion for writing (fiction).

My father never had anything go wrong in his life. He was the youngest and only boy in his family, his parents wanting a boy in addition to that. He grew up normally, has no diagnosed physical conditions and good mental health. What upsets me is he critiques my actions, blowing them off as irrational and "teenage" behavior. Also, when my mother shipped me off to the hospital, he thought I didn't need it. He wanted me out of there, telling us I didn't need help. Yep, because it's normal teenage behavior to be obsessive compulsive, highly sensitive, prone to outbursts, experience depression on a daily basis, self-harm and to have thoughts of suicide. Just like every other teen, right?


And I'm sorry I didn't build your walls. And I'm sorry I had to go and fall.
And I'm sorry I had the whole thing wrong. Well, I guess I'm the sorriest of all.
And I'm sorry that you are feeling small. And I'm sorry that I'm not used to crawling.
And I'm sorry the writing's on the wall. Well, I guess I'm the sorriest of all.
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Old October 19th, 2009, 06:17 PM   #2
Dibzy-Time
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Name: Katy
Join Date: September 2, 2009
Location: Essex
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: ... who am I?

Well, your dad obviously dosent understand what is really going on. He obviously finds it hard to get it into his head that because he turned out "perfct" in the way he has never had anything in his head if you know where im coming from. At least your mother understands and shes tryed/trying to help you which is good. If this was my dad in which it kind of is, I just put 2 fingers up at him and tell him to puthow he feels and what he thinks up his back side. Personally I dont care what i say to me dad because just coz he has the title as dad hes still like every 1 ealse y should he have more respect than others.
If you want my advic just tell him where to stik it until he can accept the fact you need help.
Who are you? Your someone that sounds like you want to get better and wants to be happy and continue with your passion. Dont let any one get in your way!!!!!
If you need to talk or anything at all just pm me ok. Im always here!!!
Good luck
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Old October 24th, 2009, 08:00 PM   #3
deadpie
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Name: Damien Ark
Join Date: August 27, 2009
Location: IA
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 12
Default Re: ... who am I?

I think you should try writing again, but instead, write about your experiences and feelings in a notebook or something. It really helps. Try getting inspired by things. Your parents can't tell you who you are, and neither can the hospital you get sent to. You can be the only one to know yourself, and if you don't, don't worry. Most teenagers don't know who they are either until they get to adult and are out of high school.
Your parents obviously don't know how damaging these disorders and stuff are to you, and they need to understand it- try explaining how it all effects you on a dailly basis.

If you need to talk-PM me.

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