my story on adderall addiction... help?

I wasnt sure where this thread should go, so i posted under two forums... sorry if im not suppost to do that.

I was prescribed adderall xr about 2 years ago because i have ADD really bad. I would take 30mg in the morning and then 20mg after school. My grades improved instantly, straight A's. After about a year and a half i noticed that my personality was changing, i was turning into a zombie. I convinced my mom to let me stop taking my meds and she agreed. For about a week i felt depressed and craved it... but the withdraws went away and i felt like my happy old self again but my grades instantly plummeted, my math grade went from an A to a D. After about 7 weeks without adderall my mom forced me to start taking it again, so i did. I was really depressed (i would cry myself to sleep) and under so much stress and pressure (moving to a new school senior year, no friends to shy, grades, sports, college next year...) that i did the unthinkable and began self-medicating my depression and shyness with adderall. I did a lot of research on adderall and became very knowledgeable about its effects and was surprised to find out that Adderall very similar to meth and cocaine (adderall is just a brand name for amphetamine salts). Desperately seeking friends, I started by taking a double dose just to ease my shyness at a track meet. I was amazed at how good i felt, it was like a caffeine rush, times 100, and the best part... euphoria. I instantly fell in love with my adderall. It cured my depression and shyness, I actually made friends! I began double dosing a 2 to 3 times a week but i gradually felt the need to increase my dosage. I am currently taking about 150mg of adderall xr 3 days a week. The positives of adderall: im much more outgoing, not depressed, happy. The negatives: the hangover from adderall is almost unbearable, my resting heartbeat is usually around 150-160 beats per minute when i OD, i only sleep 4 nights a week, i only eat 4 days a week, and i crave it. To be honest, i dont want to stop taking my adderall (i went from having no friends and nearly suicidal, to having lots of friends and happy) but i feel that i need to quit before my addiction gets any worst. I havent told anyone of my adderall use because my family would probably disown me, as my parents are both teachers. I am actually very suprised that i started abusing adderall because i have never tried any drugs, not even cigarettes or alcohol. I guess that everyone is at risk for drugs, even athletic, straight A students...

Any comments, tips, suggestions are welcomed... i am so confused and lost right now, i dont know what to do.

You're correct that you're currently abusing Adderall, and that it would be very wise to stop. And if I might make a slight correction, it doesn't sound to me as if you don't want to stop, but rather, would like all the symptoms of *whatever* the Adderall was treating to stop, you just want to feel better and the Adderall does that for you. The question is how to stop the Adderall and still feel good. And the answer is medical treatment.

If you've responded to the Adderall in the past for ADHD, then you've got some biological condition that was causing the issue for you. And likewise, the shyness, the depression, the other symptoms you've got could very well be the result of some biology, too. It's just that your medication of choice might not be the right one, and finding the right one (along with some therapy) might resolve the underlying porblems you've got, without the dependence/abuse of Adderall. And that's what you're after. And, it's probably a pretty straightforward process.

If your folks were aware enough and willing enough to get you to a doc originally, as well as medicate you, and then agree to take you off the meds, it's a fair bet that they'd also be willing to send you to a doc now. And it's also probable that their willingness to help you now would be as strong as it was back then. Tell them you need to see the doc, and get started on the the right treatment to address your real issues.

ok this is totally my opinion. my dad is an alcoholic and drug addict and he goes narcotics annymous. and what that basically is a way for you to get sober and to be around fellow addicts as yourself. like a support group it helped my dad hes been sober two years now. i hope this helped

There are drugs for medication that you can be addicted with and can't get rid of it. Actually I've been addicted to drug before like Valium can't resist of taking as my medication. My mom had been worried and can't stop thinking of what would she do to stop my addiction towards the drug and I'm also afraid I think for myself like I'm an addict sort of thing.

My mom let me in a residential treatment center to eliminate totally my addiction they give programs and therapy in a couple of months slowly my addiction is fading. Hope this might help you also
What to Expect from a Youth Residential Treatment Centers.

Originally Posted by Rise Against

I wasnt sure where this thread should go, so i posted under two forums... sorry if im not suppost to do that.

I was prescribed adderall xr about 2 years ago because i have ADD really bad. I would take 30mg in the morning and then 20mg after school. My grades improved instantly, straight A's. After about a year and a half i noticed that my personality was changing, i was turning into a zombie. I convinced my mom to let me stop taking my meds and she agreed. For about a week i felt depressed and craved it... but the withdraws went away and i felt like my happy old self again but my grades instantly plummeted, my math grade went from an A to a D. After about 7 weeks without adderall my mom forced me to start taking it again, so i did. I was really depressed (i would cry myself to sleep) and under so much stress and pressure (moving to a new school senior year, no friends to shy, grades, sports, college next year...) that i did the unthinkable and began self-medicating my depression and shyness with adderall. I did a lot of research on adderall and became very knowledgeable about its effects and was surprised to find out that Adderall very similar to meth and cocaine (adderall is just a brand name for amphetamine salts). Desperately seeking friends, I started by taking a double dose just to ease my shyness at a track meet. I was amazed at how good i felt, it was like a caffeine rush, times 100, and the best part... euphoria. I instantly fell in love with my adderall. It cured my depression and shyness, I actually made friends! I began double dosing a 2 to 3 times a week but i gradually felt the need to increase my dosage. I am currently taking about 150mg of adderall xr 3 days a week. The positives of adderall: im much more outgoing, not depressed, happy. The negatives: the hangover from adderall is almost unbearable, my resting heartbeat is usually around 150-160 beats per minute when i OD, i only sleep 4 nights a week, i only eat 4 days a week, and i crave it. To be honest, i dont want to stop taking my adderall (i went from having no friends and nearly suicidal, to having lots of friends and happy) but i feel that i need to quit before my addiction gets any worst. I havent told anyone of my adderall use because my family would probably disown me, as my parents are both teachers. I am actually very suprised that i started abusing adderall because i have never tried any drugs, not even cigarettes or alcohol. I guess that everyone is at risk for drugs, even athletic, straight A students...

Any comments, tips, suggestions are welcomed... i am so confused and lost right now, i dont know what to do.

hello, i am janie. when i read your story, i didnt feel so psycho. just about everything you mentioned is what is going on with me now. its really hard. i also OD on adderall every day. but my mom tries to hide it from me. im not sure what to do. i feel like 2 different people. i dread when my adderall wears off, because i know that my mind will think and act totally different. i need advice. please write me back if possible. my username is Janiep14. thank u so much for writing this. God Bless, -Janie

Well, A few weeks ago I was in a mental hospital,

And I met someone who snorted their adderall. Really nice guy, nice parents, nice life.
Just know that there are people out there that can help you overcome this and move on. You might need to go to a hospital, but that goes with the territory on many drug issues.
You can move on.