"Once a cutter, always a cutter"

I am beginning to think that this is true now. I used to think that it was wrong. I used to consider myself to be completely recovered. I don't think recovery in the sense of never wanting to self-harm again is possible. I think that it will always be there.
I miss it. I really do.

Luckily, I haven't lost all sense and realise that starting up again would mean that I would have to limit what activites I do in order to hide the cuts and scars again. My boyfriend would have a fit if I started up again too.

But none of this changes how much I miss it. I miss the cuts, the blood. Even, to an extent, the scars.

i know, i miss it too i quit 3 weeks ago, and when ever i'm really mad i think about it, but i convince myslef not to

I'm sure everyone has felt those feelings.
After all, its like an addiction. Its hard to get/stay off of it.
But you're restraining yourself rather well, thats good

I don't think that it will ever leave me.
My patience grows thin every so often which tends to be the time I notice it more. But, looking back, I don't think it ever does go.

Is it possible that being an ex-cutter is like being an ex-alcoholic?

it wont ever leave you.... it overcame my life my freshman and sophmore years of highschool... i havent done it since the middle of my sophmore year and im a senior this year.... its never left me.. i still have frequent urges to slit my wrists wide open... but i know i cant because ill get locked up....

i never really been a serious cutter. Usually just enough to bleed and so i can feel pain. I haven't dont it for a few weeks. Im really trying hard not to because i know i shouldn't. But there's urges and like a need to do it and it gets hard at times...

I don't miss anything about it. I haven't cut since Jan. '08 and now when I get just the slightest scratch from something it hurts so bad. I have enough scars all over my body from my cutting to last me a life time. Hope you guys can stop soon and stay "sober".

I am glad that you have "come out the other end" as it were.

I feel as if I should be over this by now. My self-harm was at its worst when I was about 14 years old and at 19 years old, I am still struggling with it.

Like any addiction, even if you overcome it you probably will never stop thinking about. Like an ex-alcoholic thinks about alcohol but doesn't drink, an ex-self harmer does with hurting themselves. However, I don't think the saying "once a cutter, always a cutter" is true and probably isn't best to think that way anyway.

And by the way, Sugar and Spice, those are the names of two of my cats.

If it is always there, then it stands to reason that we never stop being self-harmers. It stands to reason that we are simply self-harmers who don't self-harm, like the alcoholic who doesn't drink.

A self harmer is defined as someone who purposely harms themselves. If you no longer do that, regardless of what your daily thoughts are, your not a self harmer anymore and can put an "ex" infront of the "self".

That is simple semantics.
I mean, do we ever completely "recover"? Will we ever be free of the thoughts, urges, temptations? If we aren't ever free of them, how can we be recovered?

You may become free of the urges or temptations at some time but I don't think you'll ever completely forget about it.
I know this is "semantics" again lol, but...
Recovery is defined as when someone is free from something that's harmful to themselves. If you still have urges, then I wouldn't say you are recovered, although I would say you are doing a good job and trying to.

Originally Posted by Sugar and Spice

That is simple semantics.
I mean, do we ever completely "recover"? Will we ever be free of the thoughts, urges, temptations? If we aren't ever free of them, how can we be recovered?

exactly
you make a good point

Originally Posted by MissRuby

You may become free of the urges or temptations at some time but I don't think you'll ever completely forget about it.
I know this is "semantics" again lol, but...
Recovery is defined as when someone is free from something that's harmful to themselves. If you still have urges, then I wouldn't say you are recovered, although I would say you are doing a good job and trying to.

I do know the definitions.

My point is, an ex-self-harmer can suddenly end up resorting back to self-harm even after years of being free of any serious urges and only having fleeting thoughts of it. This is what makes me think that we never completely recover.

yep thats true i had stopped for 2 years then went back agen

I knew that statment was true when I went to a mental hospital I was having panic attacks from not cutting and I would start to itch at my skin. Even now it's been months since I done it but I miss doning it even when I'm not upset. I been going threw mood swings latley and it's getting harder to cope but I know as much as I miss it I can't go back and I would to many of my love ones if I cut.