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Old January 30th, 2018, 10:43 AM   #1
benlodge123
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Post Am i being lead on?

okay, so in January 1st 2018 Alice broke up with her boyfriend of 3 months. I got her snapchat on like the 18th January. We have spoken everyday. I made the mistake of telling her I have feelings for her despite talking for less than 2 weeks. She is still getting over her ex which is fine. i was speaking to her on facetime yesterday and she made it clear she was quite academic and wanted to do well in school. Alright, thats fine. But I read up and was wondering if this is her way of telling me that we will only ever be friends even after she has finished school. Also on facetime she wanted to know if I was a "Fuckboy" (Fuckboy = someone who talks to lots of girls as friends, falls in love with one of them and ditches the others) I said I was not a fuckboy as I dont really talk to anyone outside of school (All the girls in my year at school are bitches)
Also she said "until like this summer/end of this year" I want to stay mates. to me that sounds like she just wants to "cover" herself so she can have me as a friend, but when summer/end of this year comes she wont go out with me.

Back to facetime, we do it most nights, sometimes she asks, sometimes i ask to. Today, she is busy so we wont facetime, and she said "I wanna do homework instead of talking the whole evening" that sounds like she is sick of talking the whole evening... I dont understand girls 1 bit.

All in all the questions I would like to ask are:
1. Is her saying shes academic just a get out clause of being more than friends with me?
2. Does she actually like talking to me? if not should I just not talk to her at all because its starting to make me over think things.
3. Why would she care either way if I was a fuckboy if we wasnt ever going to be together? either that or she thinks I am one of them.

Happy to Chat about anything!! Hit me up! "
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Old January 30th, 2018, 11:27 AM   #2
mattraho
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Default Re: Am i being lead on?

I'll try to help you a bit

1. Maybe, maybe not. I have friends who do refuse to have a boy/girl-friend because they want to focus on their studies. If she wants to do the same that wouldn't surprise me
2. If she calls you, for sure. If you are the one calling her every time and spamming her, I would answer probably differently. I do believe in boy/girl friendship (I know way too many people that don't) and I think that if she wasn't enjoying she would have stopped talking to you since a moment
3. She wants to know if your feelings are honest. Some girls (obviously) don't want to get in love with a guy who only wants to "do things" with her. She care because maybe she has some feelings for you but her recent breakup makes her need some time to think about it.
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Old January 30th, 2018, 11:51 AM   #3
benlodge123
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Default Re: Am i being lead on?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mattraho View Post
I'll try to help you a bit

1. Maybe, maybe not. I have friends who do refuse to have a boy/girl-friend because they want to focus on their studies. If she wants to do the same that wouldn't surprise me
2. If she calls you, for sure. If you are the one calling her every time and spamming her, I would answer probably differently. I do believe in boy/girl friendship (I know way too many people that don't) and I think that if she wasn't enjoying she would have stopped talking to you since a moment
3. She wants to know if your feelings are honest. Some girls (obviously) don't want to get in love with a guy who only wants to "do things" with her. She care because maybe she has some feelings for you but her recent breakup makes her need some time to think about it.
1. Yeah I see what you mean its difficult to extinguish whether she is just saying it. But she is very honest and thats a fact so i dont think she would ever be fake with me.
2. She calls me, tbh its mostly her always asking to facetime me. But then if i ask her she will say yes normally unless she is facetiming her friends or she is busy.
3. I have told her numerous times that I am not a fuckboy. I think that Alice does have slight feelings but doesnt want to show them until she is finished with school.

Thanks for the help !

Happy to Chat about anything!! Hit me up! "
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Old January 31st, 2018, 09:19 AM   #4
mattraho
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Default Re: Am i being lead on?

Quote:
Originally Posted by benlodge123 View Post
1. Yeah I see what you mean its difficult to extinguish whether she is just saying it. But she is very honest and thats a fact so i dont think she would ever be fake with me.
2. She calls me, tbh its mostly her always asking to facetime me. But then if i ask her she will say yes normally unless she is facetiming her friends or she is busy.
3. I have told her numerous times that I am not a fuckboy. I think that Alice does have slight feelings but doesnt want to show them until she is finished with school.

Thanks for the help !
I guess she's busy with school, but in my opinion, she probably does have (a few, some, a lot?) feelings for you.
Just stay yourself, if that's fine for you, keep her as a friend and you never know what will happen
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Old January 31st, 2018, 03:09 PM   #5
NewLeafsFan
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Default Re: Am i being lead on?

This is what I think is happening: she just got out of a relationship and needs time to breath, and is interested in you. Whenever you aren't looking to date someone seems to always be when it happens. When serious relationships end it is very common for ppl to throw themselves into their studies or work or whatever.

This puts you in an awkward spot. Just because she seems interested in you now does not mean that it will last until summer. You have to decide if you're willing to invest in a friendship hoping that it will turn into something bigger. You could spend the next several months building on something just for it to be torn down overnight along with your heart.


Canada / Sport Management (Hockey) Major / Straight / Left-Wing Progressive / 18 yrs old

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Old January 31st, 2018, 07:01 PM   #6
jamie_n5
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Default Re: Am i being lead on?

To me she is happy to be your friend and is looking to maybe be more in the future. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do well in school. If you want to do well in life like becoming a doctor you need to be very academic. You basically have to be an A student from kindergarten on and then pray you can get into med school. So if you really like her then maintain your friendship and be patient. If you don't want to wait to date then drop her and look for an other girl.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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