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Old January 9th, 2018, 06:32 PM   #1
NeonBlueButterfly
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Default Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

I'm wondering how complicit I am in all of the homophobia around here by not coming out and trying to fight back. I'm always struggling with this question, but today, something happened that really brought back all the guilt I feel whenever I think about this.

I go to a private, religious high school that is all the horrible sterotypes of a conservative religious school in the south rolled into one. This morning, a guy at my school got expelled for "moral code violations". Basically, he come out to the wrong person, word got back to the principal, and now he's kicked out of school. I hope that all that happens is that he lands at the local public school and that his parents are accepting of him, but I've lived in this area my whole life, and so I know better than to think that's a realistic outcome. I feel like I should have barged in on that meeting and ripped the principal a new one, I feel like I should have stuck up for that guy. But because I know my parents would kick me out of the house if I came out, which would make me homeless, I stayed quiet, like I always do, every damn day.

At what point does staying quiet and protecting yourself from potential harm become complicity and cooperation with the homophobic community that runs everything around here?
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Old January 9th, 2018, 07:31 PM   #2
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

You are in a religious school and I am guessing a Catholic school. You don't have to feel bad or that you are doing something wrong by not coming out. There is no rush in your coming out and you are not hurting the LGBT community by not coming out. So stay quiet about your being lesbian. You could come out to your family if you wish or keep silent there too and wait until you are out of high school. There is no hurry in coming out.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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Old January 9th, 2018, 08:27 PM   #3
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

Iím really sorry yiur in that spot. And I really feel bad for your friend

Way I see it is if your living a life under such a rock as that, afraid of getting kicked outa school, being shunned by ďfriendsĒ then your in the wrong school and surrounding yourself with people who really do t give a shit about you

Thatís not saying to come out, thatís your choice and time is all you. Iím just making a comment on what Iíd say is a moral observation of the people in your world.

Coming out is a hard thing for some, and not for others. Itís easy to say do this or that when not in your situation. But I do know what Iíd do if I was you. And itís probably not what you wana do. And thatís ok to

I donít think your supporting anything but your own timeline and what you wana do in your life and when you wana do that. And personally I support that all day long

But if me, Iíd say fuck that fuck them and all them who treat another human being like that. Thatís just not Christian like at all imo


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Old January 9th, 2018, 11:26 PM   #4
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

come out after your parents pay for college.
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Old January 10th, 2018, 09:47 AM   #5
azurzg
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonBlueButterfly View Post
I'm wondering how complicit I am in all of the homophobia around here by not coming out and trying to fight back.
You should do what you are comfortable with.

There is no such thing as "something out there" that you owe allegiance to. And you do not have to "come out" to "prove that allegiance".

Your sexual preferences and your sexual desires - are yours and yours alone. You may share them with some people. You may share them with many people. But only if you want to. Do what you are comfortable with.

Last edited by azurzg; January 10th, 2018 at 11:20 AM.
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Old January 10th, 2018, 11:21 PM   #6
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

I'm sad when I read that there are still so many places here , but not only here in the South, were people people act so homophobic.

I live in the South, too and also I'm living in anew extremely open minded city I know that all the places around us aren't like that at all and that people have to hide themselves like that.

StillI think it's fine you didn't say anything. Sure standing up for others is important but first of all you have to protect yourself. I know that it is hard but if your parents are like you said it's better to stay in the closet.
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Old January 11th, 2018, 01:28 AM   #7
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

At the end of the day it’s your decision on what you decide to do and you shouldn’t feel obliged to come out until you feel comfortable doing so, especially in a situation where you may be at risk from harm or discrimination like you are currently.

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Old January 11th, 2018, 02:14 AM   #8
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

i never plan on coming out, my sexuality is only my business and future partners.

13 / USA (GA + CA) / Bi

Message me if you like Iím always open for a chat.
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Old January 11th, 2018, 06:35 PM   #9
NeonBlueButterfly
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

Thanks to everyone who read this and especially to those who responded. It's so hard to see something so wrong and sit by and do nothing. It feels like since I'm not doing anything about it, then I'm just as bad as the people who are doing wrong. But, I know the consequences I'll face if I even appear to be supportive of the LGBT community around here, and if I were to come out, it would be even worse.

Seriously, thanks for being so supportive and letting me vent. It really does help.
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Old January 11th, 2018, 09:52 PM   #10
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

It's great that you are community spirited but it would be pointless to shoot yourself in the foot. You need to look after yourself first. If you rebelled and were consequently expelled how would that help? Finish your education and get into a position where you are no longer under their thumb and then you're in a better position to take a pop at them.
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Old January 13th, 2018, 11:55 AM   #11
Anthony17
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonBlueButterfly View Post
I'm wondering how complicit I am in all of the homophobia around here by not coming out and trying to fight back. I'm always struggling with this question, but today, something happened that really brought back all the guilt I feel whenever I think about this.

I go to a private, religious high school that is all the horrible sterotypes of a conservative religious school in the south rolled into one. This morning, a guy at my school got expelled for "moral code violations". Basically, he come out to the wrong person, word got back to the principal, and now he's kicked out of school. I hope that all that happens is that he lands at the local public school and that his parents are accepting of him, but I've lived in this area my whole life, and so I know better than to think that's a realistic outcome. I feel like I should have barged in on that meeting and ripped the principal a new one, I feel like I should have stuck up for that guy. But because I know my parents would kick me out of the house if I came out, which would make me homeless, I stayed quiet, like I always do, every damn day.

At what point does staying quiet and protecting yourself from potential harm become complicity and cooperation with the homophobic community that runs everything around here?
I wouldn't dare say that you're assisting in such primitive and archaic discrimination. What I'd say is that it is completely and utterly natural for you to want to protect yourself from any physical or emotional harm that may come as a consequence by coming out. What would be wrong is if you actively portrayed yourself to be straight and take part in such discrimination, which you are obviously not doing. I'd also say that you may come out whenever you feel strong enough, come out whenever you feel you are mentally equipped to handle any backlash, if any, there may be. Remain strong, and remember you are not alone.

"I enjoy the sun and the beauty of summer as long as I can. Who knows whether one of these days I shall not be prevented from doing it?" - Alexei Nikolaevich

ďHow wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.Ē - Anne Frank
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Old January 28th, 2018, 03:05 PM   #12
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

It's so sad that stuff like that still happens in the world. In your case there is only so much you can do and it's not your fault, even though it's good to look out for others if you would've barged in there it would've hurt yourself too. The hard thing is helping others there while staying safe yourself.

17 and Bi. Hopefully i answered your question! I love helping everyone with their questions and problems so feel free to message me if you need to talk!
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Old January 28th, 2018, 05:20 PM   #13
JustMyHumbleOpinion
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Default Re: Is my staying in the closet assisting in LGBT discrimination?

Its a very tough position to be in and its so sad in this day and age this can still happen.
Your principle sounds like the kind of person who make my blood boil, though sadly there is nothing you can do and if you do voice your opinion you will probably be hurting your future.

I would stay quiet for now for your own interest, i do feel for ya though.
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