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Old January 10th, 2018, 06:33 PM   #1
Gumleaf
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Name: Stephen
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Default So I'm not sure what to do...

I'm back, sorry. But this thread is important and I need help. I really don't know what to say, so i'll say it as it is.

My gf has depression and has for about a decade. She's been on meds most of that time and until recently it's been over 5 years since the last time that she cut herself. About 3 months ago, for some reason (I don't know why) her psych wanted to change her meds. That has predictably made her much more unstable. She cut her arm in late November and then again last week. She is in such a state that the psych wants to send her to hospital, but she doesn't want to go and believes that she doesn't need to. I think she has merit in saying that, when she had an urge to cut on the weekend she was able to stop herself and get help without doing anything. A brave thing to do.

So that brings me to yesterday. That was the worst I've ever seen her. We spent 4hrs together at her house. She had just seen the psych who told her that he wants to send her to hospital. She cried like I'd never seen her cry before. I tried to be as supportive as I could, but I wasn't sure what I could do or say. Probably nothing would help in that state? After she said a few things about herself that anyone who would be thinking clearly would find unreasonable (eg she said she was a terrible gf because she didn't respond to a text I sent her for 5hrs, keeping in mind I sent it while she was working her job). I was able to calm her down a bit and we did a couple of things like went for a walk and got take out for dinner and played a card game. But she still was in a bad state and I could tell.

The reason I'm posting all this is that I don't know what I can do and how best to respond and support her. A benefit of having good friends on this site in the past is that self harm doesn't faze me like it would others, but in saying that it still isn't good. She goes back to the psych next week and I'm kind of dreading what might happen then. I'm really worried.

So if you have any ideas, please share them. I know this is a loving community who like to help, but I'd love to just hear from people who have had experience with this sort of situation or similar because I would find that advice more meaningful. Thanks heaps.

stephen

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Old January 10th, 2018, 07:14 PM   #2
SpaceyCayce
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Default Re: So I'm not sure what to do...

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, but it’s undestandable feeling a bit lot or helpless in this situation. I think the fact that she’s so apologetic (which honestly is needless in this situation) means she does care about you. The feelings go both ways. So I think she knows that you are there for her. Please don’t worry about that, at least.

I know I’m not much help in saying this but I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve been overly depressed or hurt myself or had manic or frantic thoughts. I really don’t know. Being supportive and by her side is probably all you can do. Remind her of her good qualities, because everyone has them and deserves that. Tell her honestly why you love her and why she’s important. That you’ll be there any at any hour if she just wants to talk or to tell you how she feels.

ĒUnder all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is as deep as eternity, speech as shallow as time.Ē - Thomas Carlyle

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Old January 13th, 2018, 09:18 PM   #3
Gumleaf
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Default Re: So I'm not sure what to do...

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceyCayce View Post
I donít think youíve done anything wrong, but itís undestandable feeling a bit lot or helpless in this situation. I think the fact that sheís so apologetic (which honestly is needless in this situation) means she does care about you. The feelings go both ways. So I think she knows that you are there for her. Please donít worry about that, at least.

I know Iím not much help in saying this but Iíve never been in a situation where Iíve been overly depressed or hurt myself or had manic or frantic thoughts. I really donít know. Being supportive and by her side is probably all you can do. Remind her of her good qualities, because everyone has them and deserves that. Tell her honestly why you love her and why sheís important. That youíll be there any at any hour if she just wants to talk or to tell you how she feels.
Thanks for your thoughts.


Things have improved for the moment, but I know it won't last with how things are right now.

stephen

Always Hawthorn

Hawthorn Football Club

Strong As One

~Laura was here~
~Jessi should have been here~
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Old January 13th, 2018, 09:47 PM   #4
SpaceyCayce
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Default Re: So I'm not sure what to do...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gumleaf View Post
Thanks for your thoughts.


Things have improved for the moment, but I know it won't last with how things are right now.
Iím happy to hear that itís better, even if you think it is temporary. If you ever need to chat then Iíll be here. I hope that things work out positively for both of you

ĒUnder all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is as deep as eternity, speech as shallow as time.Ē - Thomas Carlyle

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