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Old January 3rd, 2018, 02:12 PM   #1
Aiden Daniels
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Default A really hard choice

Hello, my name is Aiden.
I am in my final year of highschool and this is what's going on.

Basically there are two girls between whom i "need" to choose (i need to make a decision on which one of them i want to go for). Dont take that the wrong way, it's not like its all up to me but i need to make a choice for myself as to which one i like the most.

So the first girl (i'll refer to her as "Stella") i have known for a couple months now. I know her through a good friend of mine. Stella is a one year younger than i am so we are also not in the same school year.
At first we only talked through social media, but about a week ago we held a 10 hour long movie marathon which was great! Then a couple days ago we hung out again.
We really connect and i feel like she's just a great girl. The problem, however, is that i am not completely sure if she likes me the way i think i might like her. Therefore i would be risking an otherwise potentially very nice friendship. (If she doesnt feel the same way).

The other girl (lets call her "Fiona"). She is 17 and also in her final year of highschool.
I met her at a party two weeks ago. I didnt know anyone except for two people at this party (i didnt know her either). We really seemed to hit it off that night, and two days later she began texting me and she turned out to be a really kind and sweet girl. She comes across as if she is flirting quite a lot to me. (Is that just me?) I mean with this that she texts me every morning and sends kiss emoji's and gives me subtle compliments.
The problem here however, is that she plans on taking a year to travel between highschool and college. That would of course mean that i would barely get to see her for a long time. (I do NOT want a long distance relationship again - i was in one for 6 months at the beginning of 2017 and it took an emotional toll on me every single day)


So yeah, thats my situation... Any ideas or tips would be appreciated! I really dont know which of them i like the most in a relationship-like way...
If you need any more information or have any questions for me just let me know!

Thanks for thinking with me!
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Old January 3rd, 2018, 02:33 PM   #2
SpaceyCayce
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Default Re: A really hard choice

It’s either the second girl, or it’s neither one of them.

I know you probably like both of them, but the fact that you’re considering the second girl after your history with the first means you aren’t really that serious about a relationship with the first one. You like the second girl enough to feel conflicted or doubtful. Maybe the right answer is neither. Not to be discouraging, but considering a choice doesn’t seem like it’s that decisive, and committing to someone should be decisive.

”Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is as deep as eternity, speech as shallow as time.” - Thomas Carlyle

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Old January 3rd, 2018, 02:58 PM   #3
Aiden Daniels
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Default Re: A really hard choice

The thing is that for me not being able to decide is not a matter of not liking them enough. I personally think that i need to take time to discover if there really is a connection worth developing into something bigger. I guess inlike other people i dont fall in love from one day to the next day
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Old January 3rd, 2018, 03:16 PM   #4
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Default Re: A really hard choice

I mean... it's your choice. Personally, I think the way forward is to get to know the second girl a little bit more before moving forward, but that's just my view. You need to make this decision yourself.



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Old January 3rd, 2018, 04:30 PM   #5
ska8er
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Default Re: A really hard choice

I could c that u r more interested in
the second girl but she is going to b
away for a long period of time and
usually long distance relationships
do not work out even tho some say
they do. After awhile I'm sure both
parties lose interest. I would pay
more interest in the first girl and
if u think she does not like u as
much as u do her then ask her if
she likes u. I'm rambling here so
shes a keeper-don't lose her.
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Old January 5th, 2018, 01:14 AM   #6
NewLeafsFan
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Default Re: A really hard choice

If you are debating between to girls, than you are not ready for either one of them in particular. Nothing wrong with going on a few dates with both until you decide which you want a relationship with.


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Old January 5th, 2018, 05:13 AM   #7
Axrow
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Default Re: A really hard choice

I agree that the second girl may not be serious about a relationship or there is no way for it to work out if she is leaving. You need to get to know them both more before you are sure of a decision and don't date either of them just yet.
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Old January 5th, 2018, 10:56 AM   #8
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Default Re: A really hard choice

I also think that if you're thinking about the second girl then you probably arent really into the first girl more than friends. Maybe or maybe not. I know it sucks not wanting to push a friendship into dating territory but maybe she feels the same. however with the second girl you already want that so go with that one and tell your first friend so she doesnt get hurt.

16, bi Canadian girl. love life, friends, and being happy. Message me if you want to talk about anything.
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Old January 5th, 2018, 02:40 PM   #9
Nights
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Default Re: A really hard choice

It's your choice, you know them better than any of us.
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Old January 5th, 2018, 07:12 PM   #10
Just JT
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Default Re: A really hard choice

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewLeafsFan View Post
If you are debating between to girls, than you are not ready for either one of them in particular. Nothing wrong with going on a few dates with both until you decide which you want a relationship with.
I agree here


See it’s not like your making a life decision about a long term partner here
And you don’t seem like a player
But so long as you don’t have a committed and an open relationship there’s nothing wrong with “perusing” both girls for the short run and see where that goes. Not saying I’d advertise all that...but you can see how lone one of them may be around. And I think your lookin for something kinda long term imo

There’s nothing wrong with that so longbas your honest and genuine with both, if they ask.

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