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Old December 30th, 2017, 02:53 PM   #1
Melodic
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Default Trust Issues.

So basicially, I've been interested in this girl for five months now. I've always had the feeling that she was interested. When we worked together (which was how we met), she used to bring me cupcakes and was always helping me out even when I didn't ask or really need her too. We were always flirting. There was one incident where I accidentally said something along the lines of "I only am nice to people I like" and she looked and me and smiled and was like "Oh?"

Fast forward, I went out to eat with her once with another co-worker. Then a few weeks ago, we went to a concert 2 1/2 hours away with two of my best friends. There was an incident where the musician said something like "How many of you are in love tonight?" and we both just froze. She actually stared at me for a minute afterwards but I couldn't look at her. I felt terrified to confess how I felt.

Fast forward a couple days, I finally got the nerve to ask her on a date. A real date. I asked her to go to a movie, she read & ignored my message. Then she responded to plans I was making with my friends to go see lights and asked if she could come. I got really upset over this and decided just to go with my two best friends.

Finally, I realized that was immature and I finally sent a final message about how I felt telling her that she wasn't required to feel the same way but I wanted to get it off my chest. She didn't respond for a day but she read the message. She finally responded apologizing that she was socially awkward which is why it took her long to say something because she didn't know exactly what to say. Then she explained to me that she isn't interested in dating because she had a really bad experience with dating someone previously and she hasn't wanted to date anyone since.


I want to be patient and help her get over her trust issues because I really do believe that she's interested in me, she is just scared. But I'm also unsure if she'll ever get over them.

What should I do?

"May the space of where I am, and where I want to be inspire me"
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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:19 PM   #2
ska8er
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Continue to b her friend and do things
that the two of u r interested in. Over
time she may get more comfortable
with u and trust u more. Keep on
messaging her but do not give her
the impression that u r too clingy.
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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:23 PM   #3
TheMagicPotato
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Gain her trust. Prove to her that you're actually a good person.

You'll slowly trust each other more and more.

An open-minded, chill dude. Enjoys food and videogames.

Wanna chat? Got any questions? Hit me up?

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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:31 PM   #4
XMy-Waifu-Is-MonikaX
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMagicPotato View Post
Gain her trust. Prove to her that you're actually a good person.

You'll slowly trust each other more and more.
That is so true, i had a girl who didnt trust me due to her last relationship, i gained her trust over time, unfortunately we split up in november as she is moving away and her parents want her to scrap all of her friends even me

Last edited by XMy-Waifu-Is-MonikaX; December 31st, 2017 at 04:32 PM. Reason: i messed up with typing
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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:32 PM   #5
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrOli View Post
That is so true, i had a girl who didnt trust me due to her last relationship, i gained her trust over time, unfortunately we split up in november as she is moving away and her parents want her to scrap all of her friends even me
Damn, that's cold.

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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:36 PM   #6
XMy-Waifu-Is-MonikaX
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMagicPotato View Post
Damn, that's cold.
Yeah, but i didn't take it too harsh as her parents were very particular in who they wanted their daughter to be with, and tbh idk they knew i was with her until she had to tell her parents, then i guess her parents got mad and knew they had to stop her from contacting me.
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Old December 31st, 2017, 05:20 PM   #7
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
Continue to b her friend and do things
that the two of u r interested in. Over
time she may get more comfortable
with u and trust u more. Keep on
messaging her but do not give her
the impression that u r too clingy.
I think that this is great advise and the right approach to take.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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Old January 1st, 2018, 01:08 AM   #8
NewLeafsFan
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

It is really, really hard to turn a no into a yes. So hard that I don't recommend trying. It sounds to me like she doesn't think that you are the guy that will help her work through her trust issues. And don't take this the wrong way but that bad experience thing sounds like a cliche to me.


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Old January 2nd, 2018, 11:36 AM   #9
lallu
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

She seems interested in you but she may be really scared. She may have been through something really bad and painful so be careful and patient.Continue to be by her side and help her.With the time she will get more comfortable with you.But even if she responds to your feelings but doesn't tell you about her previous experience don't ask her. Even if she is ready to move on, she may just don't want to return in the past. Show her that you are ready to help her but do it calmly and carefully. Don't rush to ask her even if u get together.
Wish you luck
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Old January 3rd, 2018, 04:46 AM   #10
Melodic
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
Continue to b her friend and do things
that the two of u r interested in. Over
time she may get more comfortable
with u and trust u more. Keep on
messaging her but do not give her
the impression that u r too clingy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMagicPotato View Post
Gain her trust. Prove to her that you're actually a good person.

You'll slowly trust each other more and more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamie_n5 View Post
I think that this is great advise and the right approach to take.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lallu View Post
She seems interested in you but she may be really scared. She may have been through something really bad and painful so be careful and patient.Continue to be by her side and help her.With the time she will get more comfortable with you.But even if she responds to your feelings but doesn't tell you about her previous experience don't ask her. Even if she is ready to move on, she may just don't want to return in the past. Show her that you are ready to help her but do it calmly and carefully. Don't rush to ask her even if u get together.
Wish you luck
Thank you guys! I really appreciate your advice and will take it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewLeafsFan View Post
It is really, really hard to turn a no into a yes. So hard that I don't recommend trying. It sounds to me like she doesn't think that you are the guy that will help her work through her trust issues. And don't take this the wrong way but that bad experience thing sounds like a cliche to me.
I can also see your perspective from this as well. Thank you!

"May the space of where I am, and where I want to be inspire me"
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Old January 3rd, 2018, 11:37 AM   #11
breaux
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Get to know her more, make sure she knows a lot about you too. Build a bond.
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Old January 3rd, 2018, 11:49 AM   #12
Henry333
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

just be there for her and look after her. eventually shell learn to trust you if youre good to her
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Old May 31st, 2018, 01:17 PM   #13
Anneki
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Just saw this one. How is it going here half a year later?
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Old May 31st, 2018, 01:23 PM   #14
Dalcourt
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Default Re: Trust Issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneki View Post
Just saw this one. How is it going here half a year later?
Please don't post in threads with more than two months inactivity.
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