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Old November 8th, 2017, 01:54 PM   #1
ambitious_eclipse
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Default Kicked out.

I got kicked out of my mom's house and went to live with my piece-of-crap dad.

But living with him was actually...really nice. I kinda dislike my dad less than my mom. But my mom says since my grades are dropping (I had two really hard tests in those few weeks that killed me...) she wants me back at her house.

But I like living with my dad! Advice?
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Old November 8th, 2017, 05:32 PM   #2
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Default Re: Kicked out.

Be honest. Speak to both of them together if possible. Court may have to get involved to make it official to live with dad. Idk. Maybe talk to your school counselor too. Your counselor may be able to explain to your mom about the hard tests. Hope it works out!
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Old November 9th, 2017, 11:12 AM   #3
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Default Re: Kicked out.

I think you need to be as honest as possible with yourself since your future depends on it. Would you have gotten the same grades on the tests if you were still living with your mom? And, do you have the same study habits at your dad's that you did at your mom's?
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Old November 9th, 2017, 11:36 AM   #4
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Default Re: Kicked out.

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Originally Posted by mick01 View Post
I think you need to be as honest as possible with yourself since your future depends on it. Would you have gotten the same grades on the tests if you were still living with your mom? And, do you have the same study habits at your dad's that you did at your mom's?
Study habits are a bit different at my dad's because his schedule is different, his apartment setup is different, and it's a bit overwhelming to get used to at first. But by the third week, I'd say I was doing okay. I think the reason I got such bad grades on those tests is because I was upset about being kicked out, as anyone would be in the same situation. Plus the tests were genuinely hard...they were in AP Calculus and Environmental Ed (which is an easy class, but this time around he tested us on animal vocalizations, which we had only heard like once, and we weren't expected to study them...)

If we're being honest, I'm failing calculus. But my dad seems to put a lot more effort into doing problems with me and trying to understand it WITH me, instead of just teaching me once in complicated terms and letting me loose with no more help like my stepdad at my mom's house does.

My dad also lives alone, with a low-maintenance dog and that's it. So when I'm with him, it's not like he has anything else to take care of, save for getting us both fed, and the occasional going out for a beer with a friend. But with my mom? I live in an apartment with 6 people (mom, stepdad, siblings) and 2 cats (who I'm in charge of). My 14-year-old sister is extremely mentally ill and my parents are constantly trying to keep her from throwing temper tantrums. Plus we have little ones who need attention, diaper changes, naps, food...it's a lot of responsibility for 2 parents. They barely have time to help me, and oftentimes I'm also helping with the little ones. It's a terrible study environment. The only place to study is the dining room table, but it's right next to the living room, where the little ones are always listening to annoying toddler music or watching Blue's Clues or something like that.

It's a lot easier at my dad's. When I'm studying, he always either helps me, or he'll use headphones if he's watching videos so he doesn't distract me. Our dining room table is small, but it's a good study space. Has a light right above it so I can see and stuff.

Also, at my mom's, I'm not allowed to cosplay (that is, dress up like fictional characters). But at my dad's, he supports my hobby. When I'm in cosplay or even just talking about it, I'm really happy. Just being allowed to do this really weird thing puts me at ease. It gives me something to look forward to. For example, after I'm done with homework, I can put on makeup and a wig and a costume and get ready for conventions and talk to my cosplay friends on Instagram and stuff! It's really good motivation fuel and I wish my mom understood WHY it makes me feel the way I do. I won't explain it all here since it's irrelevant. She just thinks it's "all I do" and it's "ruining my grades" and it's "just plain weird". Sure, it's weird, but everyone's a little weird, right? This is my niche.

So...yeah. That's a rundown of my situation right now.
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Old November 9th, 2017, 01:56 PM   #5
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Default Re: Kicked out.

You should talk to both of your parents. From what you have said I think you should stay with your dad. He seems more interested in you and understands you.thats what I would do if that helps.
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Old November 9th, 2017, 06:41 PM   #6
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Default Re: Kicked out.

Great description, dude, of what's going on. Ya, like Joey said, you need to get both parents together. It does really sound like you're better off with your dad, especially if he's cool with you staying there.
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Old November 9th, 2017, 07:05 PM   #7
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Default Re: Kicked out.

honestly sounds like your mom is missing your help and will use your grades as an excuse.

I would try to stay with your dad as it just sounds like a healthier environment and should actually be able to help your grades by staying there since once you fully adjust(ish) you won't have as many distractions
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Old November 9th, 2017, 08:33 PM   #8
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Default Re: Kicked out.

I agree with the others that you need to talk to both parents and then tell them who you prefer to stay with and why. Also promise both of them that you will work as hard as you can in school to get good grades.

I am gay and happy with that.
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Old November 11th, 2017, 10:57 PM   #9
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Default Re: Kicked out.

It sounds like you don't like either of your parents. You said your mom kicked you out of the house. Now because you failed two tests she wants you to come back. That sounds to me like she's blaming your father and using you for the pawn. Is that why you don't like either of them? Is it possible for you to live with your grandparents for a while til everything is settled?
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Old November 14th, 2017, 01:03 PM   #10
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Default Re: Kicked out.

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Originally Posted by SingerInTraining View Post
It sounds like you don't like either of your parents. You said your mom kicked you out of the house. Now because you failed two tests she wants you to come back. That sounds to me like she's blaming your father and using you for the pawn. Is that why you don't like either of them? Is it possible for you to live with your grandparents for a while til everything is settled?

Honestly I agree. But my grandma just had surgery and money is really tight and she lives far from my school...all other grandparents either live far away or don't have space for me.
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Old November 15th, 2017, 04:06 PM   #11
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Default Re: Kicked out.

Is there a private room you could study without your siblings bothering you? It just sounds like you have no peace wherever you are at. Children bother you in your father's house, but your mother still bothers you about your grades anyway, so both houses are pretty awful. Since the living conditions are just fine, its not like you could call cps. So, I think the mother is the best choice if you could have alone time in your room, without her coming in. But you'll have to sacrifice your love for cosplay. I would love to take pics of cosplayers if I could, too. D:
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Old November 16th, 2017, 10:21 PM   #12
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Default Re: Kicked out.

Piece of crap Dad you dislike less who helps you do your homework, is respectful of the time and space you need to do your work, and makes/has time for you.

Dude you got a good Dad, one who obviously loves you, you know how lucky you are? To even have a Dad let alone one like that?

Mom kicks you out cause of some bad grades?

Sorry, I got no use for my mom either, but tbh, just look at those facts you said. Seems pretty clear what’s best for you, and you need to male that decision for what’s best for you

But both Mom and Dad need to hear that from you


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Old November 21st, 2017, 09:04 PM   #13
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Default Re: Kicked out.

Be honest with both your parents, but leave your mum and dad to discuss what is best for you. If your grades are slipping, ask your Head of Class for additional tuition or get a classmate, someone you get on well with to help you with your studies.

I re-read your messages and am glad your dad helps you with homework. Remember though he can sometimes get tired, and many parents feel our of depth with the coursework we have to do.

My father deserted us two years ago. He's a political lawyer and is is in Madrid. The farthest away from us the better, IMO.

Given a choice - stay with your dad. Remember, it was your mum who kicked you out and she'll do it again if getting her way. Ask your dad to consider seeing a lawyer and getting this situation put through Court. The kind, caring way your dad has is bound to make a really big difference.

The greatest female power is empathy to create relationships on a personal level. It's better for a woman to come across as more nurturing, more warm, and that is going to lend more success to her than for a man doing the same thing.
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Old December 1st, 2017, 05:01 AM   #14
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Default Re: Kicked out.

What does your dad want? If he is willing to keep you and he is a good provider I don't think anyone can make you go back.


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Old December 1st, 2017, 11:57 PM   #15
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Default Re: Kicked out.

I would say you have to do what you really want to do. Your parents should respect your desires.
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Old December 9th, 2017, 05:18 AM   #16
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Default Re: Kicked out.

If your father is willing to provide and care for you, why not.

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Old December 13th, 2017, 06:05 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ambitious_eclipse View Post
I got kicked out of my mom's house and went to live with my piece-of-crap dad.

But living with him was actually...really nice. I kinda dislike my dad less than my mom. But my mom says since my grades are dropping (I had two really hard tests in those few weeks that killed me...) she wants me back at her house.

But I like living with my dad! Advice?
I think you should live with dad if you like it
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