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Old September 27th, 2017, 11:53 AM   #21
benster
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

I wouldn't change first name and till ur 18 ur not allowed in england anyway, surname I might if it was to same as mums. Circumsised never and piercing can't be anything to do with religion so only if I wanted to. And I wouldnt be allowed white trainers and that's not religion I dont think
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Old September 27th, 2017, 01:52 PM   #22
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

several piercings, permanently change your name, dress differently, and circumcision. Those are all pretty major; and that last one is VERY major. Listen, do what makes you happy. I get that family values are a thing, but with all due respect, FUCK that. You should only do what you are comfortable with.

"My mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." Fred Rogers
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Old September 27th, 2017, 07:41 PM   #23
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyUK View Post
I’m not necessarily 100% opposed to all of those things,

But you totally should if you aren't totally into it.
For me, all on that list is inappropriate stuff.

I would kick my stepdad's ass, if he came up with
such a list - even if my mom would 100% agree
with this list. I don't know your or even your step-
dads ethnic background, but it seems, his list is
based on it.





"Life is that prison you'll never leave alive."



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Old September 27th, 2017, 09:09 PM   #24
Just JT
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

Look, I get everything you're saying....I think....

But seriously ok....

Others here have said basically this...

These are huge changes....
If he wasnt Muslim I'd be hugly concerned....
It's your body....
He has no right....

My words, I said it earlier, to me, sounds predatory. Hope you know what that means

Even if you're ok with everything (which you're clearly not) still don't smell right.
I just don't get how a loving caring "step parent" would make such drastic recommendations.

Your dads passed, sorry, mine to. But your step dad knows that. And imo all this little bit of small changes adds up to a lotta shit. I call bull shit.

End result he getting his nose somewhere it don't belong. All up in your manhood. Think about it. It's all about change, and gaining support from your mom is only making it more valid to you.

I honestly (if this is all completly true) feel I'm having a hard time getting all this I'm sure others are to. But anyways..what I see is this, and I'll be blunt;

Your dad's dead
Mom remarrys
New dad wants you to change
Some small things at first, seemingly easy, no prob
They progressively become more personal and invasive
You become uncomfortable with some ideas
He gets moms support
You become more ok with some changes
But you still feel not ok with some....so choose the most drastic as seemingly the only one now to oppose?

Looking for support you seem to defend this thinking (thinking your also pretty clearly against but not willing to admit to it) you justify in some way as being ok cause of what ever reason.

Bro....sorry, if your ok with all this shit then cool. But I'm gonna tell you straight up from someone who understands some shit about older male sexual predators.

The sighs. Are there bro. And you're falling into his manipulations and so is your mom.

Back up, look in the mirror. What he wants you to be isn't you. He has other plans or motives bro, don't stand down for this shit

Just saying, not buying it....

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Last edited by Just JT; September 27th, 2017 at 09:18 PM.
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Old September 28th, 2017, 12:54 PM   #25
MikeyUK
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

...................................

Last edited by MikeyUK; February 1st, 2018 at 01:11 PM.
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Old September 29th, 2017, 08:10 PM   #26
Just JT
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

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JT, my stepdad is not a sexual predator. That really is bang out of order. That's a very hurtful thing to say.
It's not about sex. It's about control bro....

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Old September 29th, 2017, 08:45 PM   #27
Dalcourt
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

As I said before...you seem to be fine so go ahead anyway.
Still strikes me as odd that you would need ya Dad to tell ya how to dress. I mean if you are part of a group you naturally assimilate to the looks of that group anyway...that's a natural thing to do and basically works in very group of friends I have ever seen.
So has this change be so forced? It would maybe have happened gradually sooner or later anyway if you'd really click with those new friends of yours.

So I'm really sorry but no remotely decent father I know would want his kids to transform into a thug, what you would be seen as where I live with the look you describe.
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Old October 2nd, 2017, 12:09 PM   #28
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

..........................................

Last edited by MikeyUK; February 1st, 2018 at 01:11 PM.
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Old October 5th, 2017, 01:18 AM   #29
NewLeafsFan
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

I've gone up and down this list several times and I can't find anything that is for the best. Why are you so sure that this is for the best? I know this is coming from a parent and step parent but you need to do some thinking for yourself now. I'm wondering if he wants you to change your religion or join a cult based on these requests.


Canada / Sport Management (Hockey) Major / Straight / Left-Wing Progressive / 18 yrs old

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Old October 9th, 2017, 01:57 PM   #30
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Default Re: My stepdad wants me to make some big changes

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyUK View Post
The suggestion of circumcision wasn't to appear tough. That's purely because it's a family/cultural tradition in my stepdad's family. He's not trying to make me Muslim. I think in the USA, a lot of boys get circumcised because their dad is, and that's often the only reason.
As one of those circumcised boys in the US we were cut when we were babies. If I had been given the choice there is no way I would go through with a circumcision at 15 after lived my entire life natural. This,, and many of the things that you have presented are only to control you. Your mom is wrong to accept many of those without taking your concerns about them.

Dude you want advise and you have gotten some excellent advise. BE YOUR OWN PERSON. If you want to do them then do them, but don't let someone, especially at 15, tell you what to do with YOUR body. Tattoos are permanent, cutting your hair is not but it appears that it is a religious thing in this case. I'm not anti-muslim at all and whether or not this is the case, you must control what happens to you.

I am a twin, 18 -- gay and proud. Would love to talk to all you guys in here. Very open to discuss things and like to talk to new friends.
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